Oregon Is Killing My Stiffy!!

What is the opposite of a schadenfreude hard-on? Whatever it is that is what Oregon has been doing to me lately. I can't say I appreciate it too much either.

After their nationally televised implosion against Boise State it seemed Oregon was in for a dark season. They lost arguably their best player in LaGarrette Blount, head coach Chip Kelly looked like he dropped a load in his size 12 huggies overnights during his debut, and Newly minted AD and former headcoach Mike Belotti stalked the sidelines unable to relinquish the reins of the program. I was loving every second of it.

The next week Oregon barely managed to get past a weak Purdue team. It was a sloppy game on both sides and Oregon was lucky to have come out of the game with a win. Belotti was still down on the sidelines and not in his AD's booth. He continued to tell anyone who would listen about what the problems were that were haunting the Ducks. Despite the win I could smell blood. This was a weak team due for collapse at any given moment. Too bad they just kept winning.

After coming out of another sloppy game against an overrated Utah team with a win I was certain of one thing. This Saturday, against the Cal Golden Bears, Oregon would meet it's gruesome demise. I could picture Oregon being swallowed whole by the Cal juggernaut. Sure, I knew Cal had QB issues but I just assumed possible Heisman front runner RB Jahvid Best would run over the Ducks and QB would not be a factor for BSU. How wrong I was.

Oregon beat the holy hell out of Cal. I mean they did Cal like Monica Belucci in "Irreversible". It was a grisly scene at Autzen Stadium with the mangled corpse of Cal laying there after a 42-3 mauling by the Ducks. It turned my stomach worse than a Luis Buñuel film. My head is still spinning with confusion.

How had this team that seemed destined to fall on black days and start it's slow descent to the bottom of the Pac-10 managed to not only pull out wins out of it's ass but to also dismantle a Top-10 team like Cal?

I wish I knew how this turnaround has occured. Sadly, all I really do know is that Oregon's success has left me flaccid. And that's no way to be.