Save Whose Sonics?

Does it matter that ESPN's Page 2 column about the Sonics from a few weeks ago netted over 3,000 e-mail replies in only 24 hours? That those e-mails were heartfelt, well-written (mostly) and convincing about the tragedy that is the Oklahoma City Sonics? No goddamned way. Things like emotion and tragedy only matter to David Stern when they convert to dollar signs. New Orleans? Sure! Who cares that their NBA attendance is bordering on D-League numbers, that the hottest team in the league is playing for the few people who either stuck around and can afford season tickets, or who are willing to drive a zillion miles from Shreveport between shifts shoving dollar bills into tranny assholes at the Landing Strip? Gotta fucking KEEP basketball in NO, obviously. So Stern can pound out some "Where Katrina Happens" commercials just in time for the team's playoff run. But Seattle, no, nuh-uh. That city's sense of emotion and tragedy remains trapped only in their hearts, not in their wallets. They could have opened their taxes up to Stern's Okla-buddy, Clay Bennett, and approved the most lopsided NBA bond package ever, and those fools didn't? There's only one answer--and it doesn't come pre-packaged with sad, minority faces weeping about shit that isn't even tangentially related to basketball.

So here's an e-mail that ESPN didn't print to sum up my current thoughts, which I figure is a decent jumping-off point for Nobody Likes Soccer.

Dear Bill Simmons,

Fuck David Stern. Fuck his support of business interests over the grassroots love of a local basketball team. It's the city's love of a sports squad and its rises and falls over the years that makes the game relevant to people who could spend their hard-earned money on a lot of other entertainment options these days. By the way, I hope you enjoy convincing a bunch of star athletes to live in goddamned Oklahoma--especially once they find out about their bullshit 3.2 beer laws.

Sincerely,
Cuntinuation