Teamsters Unite! Come Align For The Big Fight

In my previous post I extolled the virtues of Shawn Chacon for living every working Americans dream by beating down his boss, Astros GM, Ed Wade. I still stand behind these sentiments. But I fully expected for Chacon to lose his job after the incident. Chances are that if you grab your boss by his neck and proceed to slam him to the ground you are going to lose your job, regardless of if you are a highly paid professional athlete. So when Chacon was released by the 'Stros I barely even blinked.

Yesterday, as I was browsing ESPN.com, I came across an article that said the union was grieving Chacon's release as an "unlawful termination". I had to do a double take, and slam my head into the wall to make sure my optics were functioning properly. They were. The players association was really grieving one of the more lawful terminations I'd ever heard of. If pretending that you are on an episode of WWE's Monday Night Raw and chokeslamming your boss to the ground isn't grounds for termination, well, I have no idea what the fuck is.

This brings me to the point of this point of this post. What the fuck good are unions? Don't get me wrong, I understand the history of the unions. I know the struggle the unions went through in their early days fighting for workers rights. Many of the perks I enjoy at my job, like seniority and guaranteed pay, are the products of the groundwork the union laid down years prior. But it seems like the union of today is a joke.

I know my union rep, kind of. He shows up at my work maybe once a month walks around, makes small talk with some people, then leaves. I once tried to file a grievance due to highly inappropriate racial comments made to me by my boss and his 'stache. After I got done explaining to my rep what happened and made clear to him that this really pissed me off, I was expecting some solid advice on my next move. His response to my fuming recounting of the story was"Well, how far do you want to take this? I mean, we can file a grievance but they may very well make life harder for you because you did. I'd say just give him a warning and if it happens again we can think of filing a grievance."

I was shocked. Every paycheck the union bops me for my dues, whether I want to pay or not. When I actually need the union's help this is the type of help I get? So, what good is the union exactly?

I told a co-worker the story who is actually kind of friends with the rep. His advice, you have to engage him in conversation about something he likes. They always discuss hockey. He loves hockey.

Well, that's just fucking great! As I mentioned in my first post all I know about hockey I learned from Blades of Steel. And even if I did know anything about that bastard child 4th sport, why should that even matter? Why do I have to placate the man whose salary I help pay just to get some real advice? That seems to go against what the union is all about.

I get the union making sure I can't get fired for not restocking the beer fridge one time. I'm glad they ensure my job security. At the same time, that job security allows some of my less work inclined co-workers to skate by without fear of reprisal, being fired. Not having to pull your weight but still getting paid the same amount as those that do is Un-American. In fact, that's commie talk right there. Let's just set up breadlines instead of our normal employee meal while we are at it.

I appreciate the union protects me from undue discrimination. I'm glad that i can't get canned after my first minor offense. At the same time the union makes it hard to trim the fat off the workforce.

Case in point, a few years back I had a co-worker who was a notorious flake. In my mind he already had one strike against him because he was hired over me for a position that was never offered to me. This despite the union contract mandating I be given a fair chance at said position. Combine that with the fact I could do his job with my eyes closed where as he needed his hand held the entire time, I yearned to see him get the ax.

For the sake of anonymity we'll call him "Dupey-Doo" or "Dupey" for short. Dupey was constantly struggling to get food out to his suites. He had to be constantly reminded on the smallest things like putting out condiments for his food. His general incompetence would have him shit-canned in no time at a non-union workplace. Lucky for ol' Dupes he had the union safety net to prevent his much deserved dismissal.

Eventually he did get fired. Granted it took one of the more egregious fuck-ups I've witnessed at that place to get it done.

Dupey managed to steal the fruit tray that was destined for the Press Box Suite. He then hid it in the cupboard of one of his suites, a suite that had customers in it. Eventually the customers noticed him sneaking to the cupboard and apparently eating something. They complained to management, who came to his suite for a sit-rep and found him with a mouthful of contraband fruit. After that he got the long overdue boot.

Sadly that was not the end of the Dupester. He managed to mobilize the union to get him his job back, much to everyones chagrin. Bobby Ayala-esque rumors swirled. Did he possess photos of our boss with a goat? Was he connected with the mob and had trigger-men outside someones house?

In reality he just managed to find some loophole and forced the union to act on it. The worst part was that the union heralded his re-hiring as a major win. A real stick in the eye of corporate America. a win for the working man

So I ask, What good is a union? If people like Dupey and Shawn Chacon, who are rightly fired, can get their jobs back via the union, does that mean the union is broken? If there is no motivation in a workplace to go above and beyond, or hell even put forth par effort, is that a sign the union has failed us?

All we ever hear bout steroids these days is "Steroids are bad!" and "So and so did 'roids that means they're bad!". One of the many glossed over parts of the steroid saga is no one wanted steroids out of baseball. The MLB players union fought hard to make sure steroid testing was not in the Collective Bargaining Agreement. They held so much power that neither the Commissioners Office nor the Owners wanted to fight the Union on 'roid testing for fear of another strike. Not that either the Owners or the commissioner wanted to stop the gravy train of the longball era.

So I ask, again, What good is the union?