Showing posts with label that's not really that funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label that's not really that funny. Show all posts

Sunday, April 5, 2009

More Good News For People Who Love Bad News

Seriously, fuck me running!!!! According to sworn enemy of the blog Geoff Baker things done changed. Phillipe Aumont, the M's 2007 #1 draft pick, is now being converted to a full-time reliever. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!
This is a terrible idea!!!!! Words fail me to express how terrible of an idea Aumont in the pen really is.

The M's will now have used their last three first round picks on starters in Morrow, Fields, and now Aumont. This is after Zduriencik put together a, probably, passable bullpen out of spare parts. Which is the exact type of thing the A's have been doing for years. Taking FAILED starters and making them bullpen studs and flipping them for picks has been incredibly successful for them. It is an amazing waste of talent to move potential starters to the pen.

This move also really sucks because, unless Zduriencik makes some crazy move or we magically manage to draft Strasburg, our rotation past this year looks Olsen twin thin. Bastista and Washburn are gone. So, most likely is Bedard. That leaves the rotation with Felix, Silva who, despite his girth, only counts as one pitcher and RRS. Which is one good pitcher and two marginal ones. Gone are the innocent days where dreams of Felix, Morrow, Aumont led rotations floated happily through my head. In this post-apocalyptic rotation reality there is no hope, no hope, no hope, no hope at all.

The move shakes my faith in Zduriencik to it's very core. There is no good reason to make Aumont a reliever. NONE! I don't care if there is a chance he may not become a starter. Oh well, let him FUCKING TRY FIRST. If he can't hack starting then have him be a reliever. To just move him to the pen when he's only TWENTY FUCKING YEARS OLD is incredibly short sighted!!!

Let's not leave out Zduriekcik's reasoning on the move.
"We felt that this was a guy, who, if used in a relief role, could be on a real fast-track to the major leagues,'' he said. "And we're talking a real fast track.''

and according to Baker
Zduriencik said that when you look at Aumont's size, most notably his 6-foot-7 height, it lends itself to being a top-of-the-line reliever.

Yes, because he is 6'7" that means he is perfectly suited to come out of the bullpen. WHAT KIND OF TRIG PALIN REASONING IS THAT?!

I'm not sure what else to say. I'm stunned. I can only hope this is some sort of sick joke. This is not the news I was hoping to hear less than 24 hours before the start of the new season. I feel like Brad Pitt at the end of Seven and I just found out Aumont's head is in the box.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Ichiro: Seattle's Newest Superheroin

So the bad news just keeps rolling in, first Clement to AAA and then Morrow to the pen now it seems Ichiro will now start off the season on the 15-day disabled list due to a bleeding ulcer. I'm not sure what I have done to upset the sports gods, but I will drink heavily in their honor in attempts to make it up.

Not only will Ichiro miss the opening road trip but he'll miss the home opener too. Despite his normally sluggish hitting in April the team could have used him healthy to try to build a lead over the injury ravaged Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim(dumbest team name ever? dumbest team name ever) to start the season. Now M's fans must watch the spectacle of a one legged man(Griffey) attempt to play the outfield. That thought is giving me an ulcer.

Fear not though sports fans. Modern medicine has advanced the treatment of the condition that ended the lives of luminaries like J.R.R Tolkien and James Joyce, to a minor inconvenience. With a little rest the treatment should take care of the ulcer in no time and The M's will have a healthy Ichiro for the rest of the season. The hard part will being convincing Ichiro he needs that rest.

Even if Ichiro decides to push it to come back early and the problem lingers he can always self-medicate. I know Seattle's smack reserves aren't what they once were but he should still manage to score some horse. If he does that Ichiro'll be able to manage the pain of a festering wound inside his stomach.

Hey, it worked for Kurt Cobain!