22 Innings of Futility and Counting

So, in my last post I used a zen parable about the man hanging over a precipice, a tiger above, a tiger below. I equated this to the Mariners season. I also said that the next five games were going to be very critical in terms of keeping the faith that the M's might miraculously claw their way back into the division race.

With #1 Staff Ace Eric Bedard and King Felix pitching the last games against the Rangers things seemed pretty sewed up. I thought that going into the weekend series vs The ChiSox we'd be riding the wave of momentum from the dominating performances of our "best 1-2 punch in baseball".

Sadly, however, I was horribly off. The Mariners offense has decided to mail it in for the past three games. The heralded potent M's offense has resembled a pre-viagra Bob Dole more than an offensive juggernaut.

My buddy at work was going around offering people the over/under of 1 run for the Mariners. No one wanted to lose their money foolishly betting on the M's to score more than 1 run. No one took the under and essentially admit this team is done. Had someone taken the under in any of the past three games they'd have won every time.

The M's have now gone 22 straight innings without a single run scored. In fact, Texas had more walks in the 10-1 blowout(6) than the M's had hits in the next two games(5). This level of ineptitude makes The Washington Generals seem like winners by comparassion, for christ sakes.

Tensions are so high that local goat, Richie Sexson, charged the mound after a pitch flew three feet above his head. With the fervor he hucked his batting helmet at the Texas pitcher, you could tell Richie was frustrated by all the losing. He wanted to spark his team and I respect him for that. Though, it is possible to debate how much pumping up a baseball team needs. But whatever, Richie charging the mound, in a pretty clearly premeditated move, was the most entertaining and fun thing to happen at these recent M's games, possibly all year.

Another good thing for Richie Sexson, other than being a local fool/hero after the brawl, is that with almost the ENTIRE TEAM sucking the way the have been, the fans can't boo him. Or at least him alone. I think the fans realized it wasn't Richie's fault he's in the line-up everyday in the 4 hole. Just as it's not really the team's fault they suck so bad. Booing this team would be like booing your kid for failing to medal at the Special Olympics.

The blame for this, seeming, waste of a season falls squarely on the management. They are the ones who assembled this team. They're the ones who traded a ton of our prospects for an Ace, in the name of being contenders. This despite the glaring holes at 1b, DH, LF and RF.

If the Mariners were a house trading for Eric Bedard is like building a fancy new doorway/foyer to the house when your bathroom is leaking, the windows in the bedroom won't open, and the lawn has meteorite sized potholes. If management had been truly been about contending then they would have done more than just get us a shiny new pitcher. They would have paid whatever it took to get the best possible players for each area of weakness. But they didn't.

But don't worry my loyal readers and true believer M's fans, the wicked do not evade their punishment. Chuck Armstrong, Team President has come under fire recently. And with comments like these it's easy to see why. I have word from an insider close to Mr.Armstrong that at recent Mariners games the lights in the owners suite have been left off, even when Chuck is in suite and watching the game. This is being done due to a rash of people throwing peanuts, popcorn, and anything else they can hurl into the suite. That's right, my friends, Seattle fans are so fed up with this incompetent ownership group that they are now assailing Team President with a hail of garbage. He now watches the game in darkness, a prisoner in his own suite. The slightest flicker of light might trigger a refuse avalanche from the stands into the owners suite.

This warms my heart ever so much. I have long been saying that this team is being held captive to this crappy ownership group. And that as long as that ownership exist this team will never be a real contender. But ownership keeps raking in the cash and producing enough middling results that there is never any chance of bringing in a real management team in. So maybe, just maybe, if you true mariners fans keep throwing garbage into Chuck Amstrong's suite he'll get so tired of watching his crap team in the dark he'll decided that, as the legendary Sam Cooke said, "It's been a long time coming but I know a change is gonna come."