Of Mice and Manning

All hail the brothers McManning!

Blessed with Momma Manning's rocket arm and Archie's good ol' boy charisma the brothers were destined for greatness. No one expected them to be owners of back to back Super Bowl rings however. Truthfully, believing that they have already surpassed the Detmer bros legacy at this point in their respective careers is commendable in of itself. The duo are poised to only add to their legacies with the upcoming years. In fact, the thought of a sibling sparring in a future title game is not an unheard of cogitation.

On one end their is Peyton. Maestro of the gridiron. His throws find receivers with laser precision. His ability to read a defense is second to none.

To watch Peyton perform his chicken dance series of audibles is a feat unlike any other in sport.
He controls every movement of his offense. His teammates follow their assignments like drones, following his instruction to a tee. And every February he takes a handful of them to Hawaii.

Peyton Manning may be the greatest quarterback who has ever played the game. He may not have Tom Brady's dimples, or Joe Montana's demeanor, but no other quarterback has taken on all responsibilities of an offensive coordinator before. Let alone in an era in which helmets have headsets and teams routinely videotape performances.

As long as number eighteen is under center, the Colts have a puncher's chance at a Super Bowl run. Anyone would be a fool to deny this, even despite a looming rebuild on the horizon.

On the converse is Eli. Gritty competitor. Budding superstar. Drooling mongoloid.

People will forget that he should have thrown the game away earlier and that Asante Samuel dropped an easy pick. No one will forget his fabled lob to David Tyree, all but stomping on the veritable throat of a once unstoppable juggernaut.

For the vast majority of his career, Eli was seen as the walking excrement of leftover Manning genetics. His games were erratic. His confidence waned with every season. For many he seemed the second coming of Dan McGwire: a small college quarterback, highly touted due to his impressive lineage.

And then something happened towards the end of last season. Things started to click. For once he exhibited signs of being superior to both Phillip Rivers and Ben Roethlisberger.

Many point to the loss of Jeremy Shockey to injury as the catalyst. I agree whole heartily. In fact, I will even go out on a limb ans say that the Giants were fools for not dealing Shockey when they had the chance.

For you see, Eli Manning is a brain dead wunderkid. And this is not a knock on his appearance, which alludes to presence of both fetal alcohol and down syndrome. The boy is retard strong and capable of great things, under the caveat that he is not forced to generate much thought.

The proof is in the results. Shockey is a ball hog, notorious for ripping his quarterback for not finding him when he is open. Plaxico Burress commands quite the hefty ego as well. Both players were on the mend when Eli came into his own. Thus, names like David Tyree, Steve Smith, and Amani Toomer racked up the fantasy yards throughout the playoffs.

With ailing superstars, the Giants went to a spread offense. With more receivers, the quarterback's responsibilities rely less on execution and more on rapport. Find open receiver. Throw ball.

So easy, even Eli can do it!

Without having egos to please and complex patterns to memorize, Eli was able to focus on just chucking the ball. Remember the autistic kid who nailed all the three pointers in that high school game? Same concept.

This being said, if the Giants manage to enforce this game plan in the upcoming years, expect big things out of the lesser Manning.

I know I already have him pegged on my fantasy draft board.

All hail the brothers McManning!

Thus far, their journey has been the anti-Stenibeck