Upgrades used to feel like such a zero sum game. Need a 5th starter? Trade your best bullpen arm for Horacio Ramirez. Need a DH? Trade away an oft-injured but damn-useful-when healthy player for a washed up Jose Vidro. Close to contention? Trade the farm for a damn-good pitcher who even at his prime isn't worth what was given up. That the new front office recognizes that +.5 wins here, +.3 wins here and +.75 wins there add up to just the same as a +1.55 upgrade but for much cheaper, is fucking great. It's like the act of cleaning your bong, combined with a new bowl piece and building a make shift ice catch is a lot cheaper than purchasing a new bong altogether.
Anyway, now that we are a little over the halfway point of the season I figured it was a good time to look back on what has been and what might be. As opposed to recapping every player or unit as a whole I will give out awards that highlight various players or units. At 49-43 The M's have been alternatingly great and terrible. They started off the season that made me look prescient when I mentioned the possibility of play-offs before the season started. Then they had a terrible May that made me look like a fool for the exact same statements. But a quality June and July has brought this team back into contention. Now if those damn teams ahead of us would stop winning.
The Beer Goggles award-Jarrod Washburn: Yes this man pitched as one hitter his second to last start and yes he's been one of the more consitent pitchers we've had. Here's the thing, Jarrod Washburn isn't that good and he knows it(check out thought #3). He has benefited from great outfield defense and spacious Safeco Field. His peripheral stats are all in line with his career norms save for a low BABIP(batting average for balls in play) which may rise a bit as the season wears but not too much with this D. So he's pretty much the same pitcher as he's always been. Trade him no for fuck's sake!!
The Private Willian Hudson Award-King Felix: In stark contrast to Jarrod Washburn King Felix has made the leap from damn good when he's on pitcher to a true ace. Opponents cry "Game over, man! Game over" every 5 days. He has finally learned to mix his pitches better to keep hitters off balance and is unafraid to throw his breaking stuff for a strike in any count. If he keeps up this type of work throughout the season the M's might have a Cy Young winner in their midst.
The R. Lee Ermy Award-Rob Johnson and Ronny :(edeño: I was unaware that they stacked shit that high. This award is a tied because both have been attrocious with the bat so far this season. Dave at USSM thinks there is hope for RJ and others feel :(edeño is bound for a major uptick in production.
"That's right, Iccccemaan! I am dangerous!" Award-Franklin Guitierrez: Many saw him as a decent player thrown in the Putz deal. Your average all glove no (bat) love outfielder. After a slow start Frankling Guitirrez has gone on a power surge. With his new found power stroke Gutz has blossomed into a beauty like Allyssa Milano post "Who's the Boss?"
The Moonraker award: Another great pickup by Zduriencik, Russell Branyan has gone apeshit once given regular playing time. Currently he has one less dinger so far this season than his career high. WTF?! While he's been struggling a little as of late, smart minds point out he soon should be hitting balls closer to the moon than Apollo 11 ever did.
"Who are those guys?!"Award- Justin Vargas and Garret Olson: Two more players from the Putz deal. These two have come on like Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid in place of fallen starters Carlos Silva and Chris Jakabauskus. These two prove with moderate stuff and great defense much success can be had. The fact that these two have been decent at the end of the rotation makes me higher than Dennis Hopper in "Blue Velvet".
"I'm so gangsta prissy chicks don't wanna fuck with me!" Who else but Ichiro? I'm not sure Seattle fans know just what a special talent they have in Ichiro. Much like people didn't realize for a long time how damn good Jay-Z was. Jay then went on to go make the Kingdom Come album and people realized that the great HOVA was gone. Don't do the same with Ichiro Seattle.
I'm damn tired and my brain is bleeding from the after effects of a crazy weekend. I may add a second part to this post for some of the unmentioned other stars on this damn team. Until then, peace be upon you!!
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