Thursday, July 9, 2009

Perfect Day Ruined By Mariners Game, Larry the Cable Guy

Yesterday I attended my second Mariners game of the season and while all the events surrounding the game were fun the game itself was one of the worst M's losses I've ever seen.

Meeting up with my friend Pat, I was crazy excited about going to the M's game. The game I had attended earlier this year I had been with a bunch of friends and co-workers so I didn't get to watch much of the game. This time I was sure to be able to focus on the action all the field. This proved to be my undoing.

Everything was going fine prior to the top of the 9th inning. We had brought in some delicious Tetsu Hellfire ramen for lunch from Samurai noodle that we ate while periodically heckling players. The flask of Crown Royal served to keep us warm in the overcast and drizzly weather.

The game had been fun. Yes, Jason Vargas had been lucky to give up no runs. He had men on in scoring position almost every inning he pitched and that was damn nerve wracking. But somehow he managed to get through it and the M's held on to a 3-0 lead. The ballpark seemed to be kind yesterday as it allowed me to see Jose Lopez hit a dinger out to left field. I've been to many games where the most exciting part is the hydro races. The ballpark also gave me a great driving catch by should-be-all-star Franklin Gutierrez. There was a sense of universal euquilibrium that hung in the air. Another series win seemed imminent. Then the 9th inning happened.

David Aardsma came in to some crazy montage on the big screen and it felt like the game was over. I mean the win expectancy was somewhere in the mid 90's. It's just you never know when that ~5% of failure will strike. Earlier in the season Aardsma's appearances inspired more fear in M's fans than the entirity of the Sinestro Corps. His command had been suspect and the atkins diet of all fastballs seemed to be a portent of looming failure. However, recently Aardsma has cleared up his walking ways and been damn near dominant. I expected him to come in and dominate. How naïve of me.

Out of the gates Aardsma's comman was off, getting behind in the count to the 7-8-9 batters. A fly ball dropped in, then he issued a walk, at which point a line drive single was scorched to the gap in right center. Bases loaded, no one out. Still I remained optimistic. A strike out and a double play could end the inning and the game. That was not to be.

To be clear this wasn't the terrible walk the world Aardsma of earlier in the season. Yes he gave up one walk, but the other two men of base got their via surprising luck. The same luck would be his undoing as the next 6 of 7 balls in play were groundballs, a pitchers friend, an omen of a possible double play. Not for the M's. Adam Jones singled to third base and Chris Woodward not being Adrian Beltre was unable to make a play on the ball and get an out, run in. Then a sure double play ball was hit to Jose Lopez, who picked a terrible time to play like shit. Jose dropped the ball on his was to second for the first out. Still no one out, still bases loaded, 3-2 now. A force out keeps it at 3-2 now with one out. Then a succesful pick off attempt got Aubrey Huff for the second out. A groundball single up the middle scored one more and the game was tied. It very well could have stayed there if not for Jose Lopez again. This time he rushed his throw to first baseman Russel Branyan and skipped the ball to him, still 2 outs.

The entire crowd was in shock. There had been glimmers of hope in that inning and Jose Lopez chased them away. The crowd had been lively before now they sat stunned as if 2girls1cup had been played on the big screen. The inning ended with The M's down 3-5. Little hope remained with Wlad and :(edeno as the first two batters of the inning.

Normally when a team is down in the 9th inning by a managable margin the scoreboard operator puts on some hackneyed montage of inspirational clips from movies like "Rocky", "Hoosiers", or even "Animal House". While not very orginal or fun they at least are not maddeningly offense. That was not the case at this game where a video of LARRY THE FUCKING CABLE GUY(!!!!!) was shown to the crowd teling the M's to "Git r dun". More than anything in the innings prior this pissed me off and saddened me the most. This is what we have come to for inspiration? Racist faux truckers with an insipid catch phrase and a overly managed "every guy" image" are now replacing the cliché but sensbile movie montages? Sweet merciful Zombie Jesus eat my brains now so I no longer have to watch my country devolve into a bunch of morons spouting out tired catchphrases like "Git r dun" and little John's "Hohkaay", as they are fresh and orginal. "Idiocracy" wasn't a great movie but as the days go by it seems more and more prescient.

Wlad and :(edeno made two quick outs as expected, pushing us to the brink. There was a rumbling in the crowd, a feeling that rose up to our superstar and pleaded with him to do something, anything, to keep the game alive. They were saying "Help us Ichiro Suzuki, you're our only hope!"

Ichiro did his best by lining a double into the gap. The crowd came back to life when it was revealed that Griffey was coming up to pinch hit for Chris Woodward. The fans started to clamor as hope filled the void that had been created by Jose Lopez' ineptitude. As much as I wanted to believe that there was something magical that could happen, I just couldn't. I knew better. Everyone around me saw Griffey as he was years ago when he played here, a once in a lifetime talent that could make a pitcher pay for a mistake. I however, saw a sad old man unable to catch up to a low 90's fastball. That sad old man hit a soft roller to second on the first pitch he saw. Game over man, game over.

This was twice in the past two games that the bullpen had fallen apart like a post-Evander Mike Tyson. Many had warned of regression from the pen. It still hurts when those warnings come to pass. Luckily Dave Cameron of USSM says that there may be help on the way. Though until those options come through it is hard to know how many more cock punch game like the last two the bullpen might dole out.

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