I have to admit something to you, Dear readers. I am a Red Sox enabler. I'm sorry. I never imagined my enabling would lead to such moral lows.
4 years ago I was living abroad in Mexico. I remember stopping by a small bar and watching Curt"I'm the Biggest Asshole in the World" Schilling and The Red Sox break the sway the Yankees had held over them so long. In an innocent thought to myself I mused "Good for the Sox. I hate the fucking Yankees! I'd like to see the Sox win the series. After all they've been through they deserve it." Not long after that thought had passed I wanted it back so very bad.
Much like someone who jumps off a bridge in attempts to commit suicide but lives, I realized "No, this isn't what I want at all!". I wanted the Yankees to lose, sure. Those cocky New York fucks deserved to lose. But if Boston Made it to the Series I had no doubt that they would absolutely destroy whichever second class NL team they faced. Then everything would change.
No longer would the Sox be the lovable losers filled with fan faves like No-mah, Pay-dro, Big Papi and Man-Ram, none of who could win the big one. They would be the world champs. And that would suck. It was so much fun watching those Boston fans wallow in self-pity and believe in garbage like the curse of The Bambino. With a win, they would no longer be self-loathers and, if The Pats mini-dynasty is any reference, happy New Englanders are very annoying New Englanders.
Last year I watched as my surrogate team, the well run and smartly put together, Cleveland Indians go up 3-1 on the Sox in the ALCS. The Indians(and the most racist logo ever. Can you imagine similarly racist team names?) stood poised to clinch the 4th and deciding game at home in Cleveland , when I had another innocent thought. "I want this series to be at least a little interesting, maybe the Sox can have this one. Besides, how sweet would it be for the Fenway faithful witness the dismemberment of their beloved Sox there in Boston?"Again, almost immediately I realized my error.
My simple wish turned very sour and the Red Sox went on to take the next two in Boston, winning the games by a combined score of 24-4. I knew that this incredible turnaround would only add to the Sox lore and I hated it. I couldn't stand the thought of ever more bandwagon fans coming out of the woodwork in support of this grotesque monstrosity of a team. The Red Sox had become the new Yankees.
Working at the stadium when the Red Sox are in town is a confusing time. One never realizes just how close Boston is to Seattle until witnessing the flood of all sorts of Sox gear come flooding into the stadium, most of it freshly purchased. When cheers eurpt it is difficult to discern if it is for the M's or the Sox(except this year when with the M's ineptitude you knew it was for the Sox). This baseball blasphemy should never transpire in one's home stadium espescially not when the team you are playing's true fan base is over 3,000 miles away.
Now the Tampa Bay Rays have the Red Sox on the ropes 3-1 going into game 5 in Boston on Thursday. I want very badly for the upstart Rays to continue to kick the holy hell out of the Sox as they have done the past two games.
I've learned my lesson. I'm not rooting for a close series. I'm not even rooting for the sweet irony of Man-Ram coming back to play at Fenway in Dodgers blue in the series. No, All I want is a swift and painless victory on Thursday. Then I want the Rays to kick the shit out of Pat Gillick's Phillies in the series. I want all those tools who constantly claim that a team needs post-season experience to win it all to have to eat some serious crow. All those who doubted the Rays because they were "too young" and didn't see that they were also supremely talented, will weep as old baseball cliches are torn asunder. And I want to be there to watch.
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