2009 marked the beginning of a new era for the Seattle Seahawks under head coach Jim Mora. As often is the case with new things people worried about the changes to the team. How would the offense fair without offensive mastermind and devourer of clams, Mike Holmgren? With John Marshall gone would that mean no more zero blitzes for the defense? And if that was indeed the case people wondered what new surefire play would the 'Hawks design to give up first downs? All these questions and more haunted 'Hawks fans until Sunday afternoon.
I doubt anybody really expected the Rams to be any good this year, even Rams fans. That said the 28-0 ravaging of St Louis was still damn impressive considering all that separated the two teams last year was one win. If not for a turnover filled 1st quarter the game would have been even more of a blowout.
After a rocky start Hass looked as comfortable as ever under center. Hell, there was a decent number of plays where Hass took snaps from the shotgun, something Mike Holmgren only occasionally let Matt audible into.
Overall the thing that impressed me the most, other than Aaron Curry absolutely leveling Stephen Jackson, knocking him off his feet before escorting him to the turf with his shoulder, was the creative new play calls on both side of the ball. This was not The Walrus' ordered yet predictable West Coast offense. In fact, I'm pretty sure Holmgren must have knocked over his bucket of clams in anger and astonishment on more than one occasion while watching the game.
The quintessential play that demonstrated how far the play calling has come since the old full back draw was run out of a Sea-Cat formation. Seneca Wallace lined up at QB in the shotgun with Hass out wide on his right. After receiving the snap Wallace threw the ball to Hass who faked like he was going to go upfield with it before he threw the ball back to Seneca who took off up the sideline for a huge gain.
I've opined for years that Seneca, while a decent back-up QB, could be so much more than that given the chance. Like Antwaan Randle-el but with a better arm. I often dreamed of all the crazy plays that could be designed to use Senecea's athleticism and sighed knowing Holmgren would never dare to risk injury to Seneca even if the gain from such plays far outweighed the chance at injury. Seeing my dreams materialize in front of my eyes like that gave me a lot of hope for this season and a lot of love for this new coaching staff.
The run game looked decent with Julius Jones breaking off a 62 yard run that showed he still had some of his old speed still in him. Edge was serviceable, plodding forward and taking what he was given while always falling forward. Justin Forsett looked solid as a 3rd down back and proved worthy of wearing Maurice Morris' old number, 20.
The receivers went all Jack the Ripper on the Rams secondary carving them up all day. TJ Houshmazode(championship!) looked like Bobby Engram 2.0 running crisp routes over the middle, absorbing contact and making good yards after the catch. Deon Butler caught a couple passes and threatened with his deep speed. The true star was Nate Burleson. Always a great athlete Nate struggled with the demanding precision that Holmgren's offense required. The new coaching staff recognized his talent and instead of trying to force him into a role for which he is not quite suited they are trying to develop a role that takes advantage of his strengths. Bubble screens, quick hitches and getting the ball out to him fast if his man plays off were all part of the new Burleson repetoire.
Remember when people complained John Carlson was slow? Well, how does the fact that a slow player got off for 6 catches, 95 yards and 2 tubs grab you? I loved JC last year. In a lost season his play was a savior. As he develops more of a rapport with Matt he will become even more of a monster.
Defense was solid. Some fools worried that the 'Hawks had shown too much of their new defensive schemes in the preseason and that once the season started teams would be ready for our defense. Like I said before, no one expected the Rams to be good or even decent but a shut out is damn satisfying. The depth of versatile players on the defense means the days of zero blitzes with Brian Russel left in cover-1 are over. And thank Christ for that.
I have faith that the 'Hawks can regain their winning ways this season and prove last year's 4-12 record was a fluke. With the way 'Hawks played yesterday the division title will be back in our hands by the end of the season. And that, friends, is always a good time
Showing posts with label too long of posts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label too long of posts. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
College Football Round-up: Jim Tressel Shits His Sweater Vest, Charlie Weiss' Fupa Loses To Michigan, Chip Kelly Escapes to Lose Another Week
I fucking love College Football. I love it even more than I love the NFL. I love the crazy offenses. I love the spread options, the pistols, the triple options, none of which would you ever see in the Pros. I love all the conferences and big time programs and their storied histories. I love the great monuments to sport with names like The Horseshoe, Death Valley, and The Swamp. What isn't to love about stadiums that become the largest cities in their state on game day? But more than all that I love all the teams, and I love their coaches.
Or, I should say, love to hate their coaches. After watching Dave Wannstedt attempt to coach the Miami Dolphins years ago I made a vow that I never wanted to see him or his mustache succeed. Therefore, I hate Pitt. I was never a fan of Charlie Weis or his gunt in New England and I've always hated the chi-mo endorsing Golden Domers of Notre Dame. Now that they've joined together I can focus my dislike of them into a burning beam of hate like the sun through a magnifying glass. It doesn't matter who the head coach of Oregon is I will hate them til my heart turns black. Ohio State is much like Ben Affleck, their undeserved earlier success has led them to have a false sense of importance.
The fun thing with College Football is the preseason rankings which the networks hold up as the one true barometer of how good a team is before a single game is even played. As one might expect with such a flawed system teams are often vastly overrated in the season. Often times the overrated programs have coaches on my hate list which makes my hatred for that school/person that much more potent. I'll sit intently staring at the screen channeling my will hoping it will cause them to fail. And when they do, how sweet it is!!
Saturday and Saturday night provided so much fail I could hardly keep from ripping off my pants and masturbating I was so excited. Let's do aquick lengthy recap, shall we?
I was at the Dawg's game when Michigan upset Notre Dame and Charlie Weiss' FUPA in the waning seconds on Saturday. Despite my inability to see Notre Dame's demise, my heart grew two sizes knowing that ol' Uncle Charlie might not be long for the head coaching job at Notre Dame. You see Michigan has been terrible in recent years falling from perennially proud contender in the Big 10 to a team that lost to Appalachian State just two years ago. Then the school that was built on the tradition of the I formation and running over people decided to switch things up and hire the architect of West Viginia's high powered spread option offense, Rich Rodriguez.
Sad thing is, the current personnel of Michigan fit Rich-Rod's system like Oprah in Britney Spears' "Oops...I did it again!" cat suit. I thought the Wolverine-spread experiment was destined to fail and all signs seemed to be pointing that way. However, after a win against hated rival Notre Dame and the man whose gunt enters a room 5 minutes before he does Rich-Rod just bought himself more time. Conversely, Charlie Weiss and his flap are now on the hot seat from the loss. A Notre Dame team on the rise isn't supposed to lose to a Michigan team in the doldrums rebuilding. That they did gave me a schadenfreude hard on at a rather uncomfortable time. It's tough to stand and cheer when yer worried about cock-braining the old lady in front of you.
The most anticipated game of Saturday was a rematch of last years rout of Ohio State University by USC. Despite losing 8 players to the NFL draft many thought USC's defense would destroy Terelle Pryor and the Buckeye's offensive while the Trojan offense would be able to make enough plays to win handily. Others like OSU Alum/former player turned announcer, Kirk Herbstreit, thought that playing in front of 106,503 fans would rattle USC's true freshmen QB Matt Barkley. That combined with OSU's tough defense would spell doom for the young USC team.
There is a reason no one really listens to Herbstreit, and scrotum sucking ball-fondling odes to his alma mater are a large part of that. Never trust Herbstreit to be objective when it comes OSU. Actually just never trust him in general when it comes to OSU.
USC trailed 10-15 starting their last drive of the night and they faced an uphill battle against a tough OSU D and the 100,000+ strong of the Horseshoe. A touchdown would win the game. However, USC should have never been given the oppurtunity to score and win. They should have been down at least 19-10 in the waning minutes of the game. But the Buckeye's went conservative and kicked field goals on two occasions when inside the USC 5 yard line. Buckeye fans can blame Jim Tressel for the loss.
Jim Tressel's attire is a perfect reflection of what kind of play caller he is. His short sleeve button up wants to say "laid back and cool guy" but is drowned out by his cinched up tie, glasses and trademark sweater vest all of which scream "The stick up this man's ass has a stick up its ass!!". Tressel's arch-conservative, anti-abortion, pro-deregulation leanings were on full display early in the second quarter when a long drive left OSU with a 4th and goal from the USC 1. The playcalling the prior 3 plays had been bad enough, a weak pass play, then two runs straight into the USC line. Then rather than do something crazy like spread out the USC D and let Terelle try and make magic happen with either his arm or legs or even try a QB sneak with the 6'6" 240 lb Pryor Tressel opted to just kick a field goal.
Now, I realize it was early in the game and common football logic dictates that you just take the points in that situation. However, you are playing USC who destroyed you the year before, you are at home, you know that you NEED points against a Pete Carrol team AND even if you didn't convert on 4th down you leave USC backed-up worse than me after a cheese binge. Your defense has been lights out all game and chances are you get the ball right back.
But that's not the Tressel way. Nor is it to try and create mismatches for your WRs by spreading out the offense every once and a while. Hell, if Tressel does that he might have actually have given Pryor some room to run, the one area USC had trouble with OSU's offense. Tressel however decided to rail against universal health care and kick the field goal. He lost as a result.
The night cap of despised coaches/programs was the University of Oregon vs. Purdue in a way less cool match-up of Big-10 vs Pac 10 than USC vs OSU. After last week's debacle against Boise State I was hoping to witness Oregon's descent into a season of hell. A loss to Purdue would be a healthy push down the stairs. Sadly that was not the case.
The head coaching job at Oregon is Chip Kelly's to lose and he looked perilously close to losing it last week. As Kelly watched his team fall apart due to sloppy play and mental errors you could see he had the Ty Wilingham face of "Oh shit, this is not how I thought things would happen. What do I do now? What do I do now, dammit?!?!". The whole while Mike Belotti the former coach turned AD was down on the sidelines giving pep talks to players and telling what they were doing wrong. Yup, the AD was down on the sidelines doing more coaching than the head coach. Not the way to start the season.
The were various times in the Purdue game, a turnover here, a missed assignment there, when the Ty face would start to creep onto Kelly's visage. Luckily the Ducks managed to stop Purdue on 4th down with a minute left to seal the deal. That didn't stop Belotti, again down on the sideline, from dispensing coaching wisdom to the sideline reporter.When asked when asked what he thought of the tams play so far he got rather specific saying something to the effect of "Well if the WR made a crisper cut out of his break and the QB wasn't drifting away from the line when he threw and the right guard kicked out instead of in on that last play I think we could've had a touch down.". In the brief interview Belotti also mentioned that he still hadn't figured out where he wanted to be on game day up in his box or down on the field, but the manor in which he said it made it seem as if he intended on being down on the sidelines but knew that his proper place, as an AD was up in the booth.
The fact that Oregon escaped another terribly sloppy game, this time with a W was rather upsetting for me. I'm an addict for Oregon fail. But still, seeing them struggled with a lower tier team like Purdue did warm the cockles of my heart. For I know that they are not the contender they painted themselves as to start the season. They are not in the top tier of the Pac-10 and since the second tier includes everybody but USC and Cal at the top and WSU at the bottom that means that there is a decent chance we can beat them when they come up here this year. That'd be sweet!
All in all it was a fun Saturday of football with lots of good game and some quality fails as well. Who knows what next week holds? Will Charlie Weis' gunt gain sentience and attempt to remove itself from it's host? Will Jim Tressel have tie too tight and suffer at stroke because of it? Will Mike Belotti push Chip Kelly out of the way and resume the mantle of head coach, the headset with it, while Kelly cries in the corner like a kid who had his favorite transformer stolen? Only time will tell.
Or, I should say, love to hate their coaches. After watching Dave Wannstedt attempt to coach the Miami Dolphins years ago I made a vow that I never wanted to see him or his mustache succeed. Therefore, I hate Pitt. I was never a fan of Charlie Weis or his gunt in New England and I've always hated the chi-mo endorsing Golden Domers of Notre Dame. Now that they've joined together I can focus my dislike of them into a burning beam of hate like the sun through a magnifying glass. It doesn't matter who the head coach of Oregon is I will hate them til my heart turns black. Ohio State is much like Ben Affleck, their undeserved earlier success has led them to have a false sense of importance.
The fun thing with College Football is the preseason rankings which the networks hold up as the one true barometer of how good a team is before a single game is even played. As one might expect with such a flawed system teams are often vastly overrated in the season. Often times the overrated programs have coaches on my hate list which makes my hatred for that school/person that much more potent. I'll sit intently staring at the screen channeling my will hoping it will cause them to fail. And when they do, how sweet it is!!
Saturday and Saturday night provided so much fail I could hardly keep from ripping off my pants and masturbating I was so excited. Let's do a
I was at the Dawg's game when Michigan upset Notre Dame and Charlie Weiss' FUPA in the waning seconds on Saturday. Despite my inability to see Notre Dame's demise, my heart grew two sizes knowing that ol' Uncle Charlie might not be long for the head coaching job at Notre Dame. You see Michigan has been terrible in recent years falling from perennially proud contender in the Big 10 to a team that lost to Appalachian State just two years ago. Then the school that was built on the tradition of the I formation and running over people decided to switch things up and hire the architect of West Viginia's high powered spread option offense, Rich Rodriguez.
Sad thing is, the current personnel of Michigan fit Rich-Rod's system like Oprah in Britney Spears' "Oops...I did it again!" cat suit. I thought the Wolverine-spread experiment was destined to fail and all signs seemed to be pointing that way. However, after a win against hated rival Notre Dame and the man whose gunt enters a room 5 minutes before he does Rich-Rod just bought himself more time. Conversely, Charlie Weiss and his flap are now on the hot seat from the loss. A Notre Dame team on the rise isn't supposed to lose to a Michigan team in the doldrums rebuilding. That they did gave me a schadenfreude hard on at a rather uncomfortable time. It's tough to stand and cheer when yer worried about cock-braining the old lady in front of you.
The most anticipated game of Saturday was a rematch of last years rout of Ohio State University by USC. Despite losing 8 players to the NFL draft many thought USC's defense would destroy Terelle Pryor and the Buckeye's offensive while the Trojan offense would be able to make enough plays to win handily. Others like OSU Alum/former player turned announcer, Kirk Herbstreit, thought that playing in front of 106,503 fans would rattle USC's true freshmen QB Matt Barkley. That combined with OSU's tough defense would spell doom for the young USC team.
There is a reason no one really listens to Herbstreit, and scrotum sucking ball-fondling odes to his alma mater are a large part of that. Never trust Herbstreit to be objective when it comes OSU. Actually just never trust him in general when it comes to OSU.
USC trailed 10-15 starting their last drive of the night and they faced an uphill battle against a tough OSU D and the 100,000+ strong of the Horseshoe. A touchdown would win the game. However, USC should have never been given the oppurtunity to score and win. They should have been down at least 19-10 in the waning minutes of the game. But the Buckeye's went conservative and kicked field goals on two occasions when inside the USC 5 yard line. Buckeye fans can blame Jim Tressel for the loss.
Jim Tressel's attire is a perfect reflection of what kind of play caller he is. His short sleeve button up wants to say "laid back and cool guy" but is drowned out by his cinched up tie, glasses and trademark sweater vest all of which scream "The stick up this man's ass has a stick up its ass!!". Tressel's arch-conservative, anti-abortion, pro-deregulation leanings were on full display early in the second quarter when a long drive left OSU with a 4th and goal from the USC 1. The playcalling the prior 3 plays had been bad enough, a weak pass play, then two runs straight into the USC line. Then rather than do something crazy like spread out the USC D and let Terelle try and make magic happen with either his arm or legs or even try a QB sneak with the 6'6" 240 lb Pryor Tressel opted to just kick a field goal.
Now, I realize it was early in the game and common football logic dictates that you just take the points in that situation. However, you are playing USC who destroyed you the year before, you are at home, you know that you NEED points against a Pete Carrol team AND even if you didn't convert on 4th down you leave USC backed-up worse than me after a cheese binge. Your defense has been lights out all game and chances are you get the ball right back.
But that's not the Tressel way. Nor is it to try and create mismatches for your WRs by spreading out the offense every once and a while. Hell, if Tressel does that he might have actually have given Pryor some room to run, the one area USC had trouble with OSU's offense. Tressel however decided to rail against universal health care and kick the field goal. He lost as a result.
The night cap of despised coaches/programs was the University of Oregon vs. Purdue in a way less cool match-up of Big-10 vs Pac 10 than USC vs OSU. After last week's debacle against Boise State I was hoping to witness Oregon's descent into a season of hell. A loss to Purdue would be a healthy push down the stairs. Sadly that was not the case.
The head coaching job at Oregon is Chip Kelly's to lose and he looked perilously close to losing it last week. As Kelly watched his team fall apart due to sloppy play and mental errors you could see he had the Ty Wilingham face of "Oh shit, this is not how I thought things would happen. What do I do now? What do I do now, dammit?!?!". The whole while Mike Belotti the former coach turned AD was down on the sidelines giving pep talks to players and telling what they were doing wrong. Yup, the AD was down on the sidelines doing more coaching than the head coach. Not the way to start the season.
The were various times in the Purdue game, a turnover here, a missed assignment there, when the Ty face would start to creep onto Kelly's visage. Luckily the Ducks managed to stop Purdue on 4th down with a minute left to seal the deal. That didn't stop Belotti, again down on the sideline, from dispensing coaching wisdom to the sideline reporter.When asked when asked what he thought of the tams play so far he got rather specific saying something to the effect of "Well if the WR made a crisper cut out of his break and the QB wasn't drifting away from the line when he threw and the right guard kicked out instead of in on that last play I think we could've had a touch down.". In the brief interview Belotti also mentioned that he still hadn't figured out where he wanted to be on game day up in his box or down on the field, but the manor in which he said it made it seem as if he intended on being down on the sidelines but knew that his proper place, as an AD was up in the booth.
The fact that Oregon escaped another terribly sloppy game, this time with a W was rather upsetting for me. I'm an addict for Oregon fail. But still, seeing them struggled with a lower tier team like Purdue did warm the cockles of my heart. For I know that they are not the contender they painted themselves as to start the season. They are not in the top tier of the Pac-10 and since the second tier includes everybody but USC and Cal at the top and WSU at the bottom that means that there is a decent chance we can beat them when they come up here this year. That'd be sweet!
All in all it was a fun Saturday of football with lots of good game and some quality fails as well. Who knows what next week holds? Will Charlie Weis' gunt gain sentience and attempt to remove itself from it's host? Will Jim Tressel have tie too tight and suffer at stroke because of it? Will Mike Belotti push Chip Kelly out of the way and resume the mantle of head coach, the headset with it, while Kelly cries in the corner like a kid who had his favorite transformer stolen? Only time will tell.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
NLS Discussion Post: How Much Do An Athlete's Off-Field Activities Color Your View Of Them
The recent passing of Michael Jackson opened an intense debate among the populace. Namely, how much do Michael's alleged chi-mo ways effect the way we, the public, view his legacy. Do the multiple allegations of banging boys change the fact that he may have been the greatest entertainer of our time?
There were many people with whom I talked in the days following his death who said something along the lines of "Fuck him! I hope he burns in Hell for being a pederast!" They didn't think about him as the King of Pop or his huge influence on pop culture. To them he would be remembered as someone who he diddled kiddies. Nothing else he did during the rest of his life mattered in the least.
Other people I talked to felt like the allegations should have nothing to do with how they view Michael The Entertainer. They felt that all his accomplishments and the body of work over the course of his career stood on its own. That his later legal troubles should be a footnote in the legacy of Michael.
Me, personally, am somewhere in the middle. I don't think it can be overstated his influence on pop culture. Modern R&B artists like Usher, Ne-yo, Chris Brown, et al. owe their entire careers to the work Michael put in all those years ago. Groups from New Edition, a J-5 clone, to N'Sync were built in a mold that the Jackson 5 created years ago. Pop music had never seen such a prolific single artist prior to MJ and more than likely won't see one after.
My childhood memories are filled with memorable Michael Moments. I remember how excited I was when Michael guess starred on my favorite TV, The Simpsons. I remember the video premiere of his epic video "Black or White" on Fox. I still get chills when I see clips from the Super Bowl XXVII halftime show. The way he popped out from under the stage and paused a moment to revel in his awesomeness set a bar for half time shows that I doubt will ever be topped(unless you count the Janet/Justin wardrobe malfuction. But that was awesome in a completely different way).
While I will always hold a special place in my heart for MJ, but there was a certain amount of luster removed from his status by the allegations that he fondled a few children. I don't buy the idea that these charges came from people just looking to cash in. Even in such a litigious nation such as this charges of child molestation aren't filed lightly.
Even with the knowledge that he may very well have gone all Catholic Priest on a few kids in his time, I view Michael's career as a net positive. This is interesting for me because I often hold players' off-field/off-court actions against them. Kobe Bryant might be one of the better players ever but he's an asshole and a alleged rapist. Jim Brown may be an all-time great running back and social justice crusader but he also beat the shit out of his wife and girlfriend. Muhammad Ali, might have been the best boxer to lace up a pair of gloves but from what I read in Ghost of Manilla by Mark Shram he was quite the slandering asshole. I have a hard time separating my hate of Karl Malone and his dirty play from my hate of his being repeated dead beat dad.
Despite my feelings that players actions off the field and their deeds on it should both be considered when discussing how great they are, not everyone agrees. I have a friend who cares not about a player's off field transgressions. He feels that whatever accomplishments a player has should be the only means of judging them. That Michael Jordan's habitual gambling was so crippling that he would cheat a grandma to win has no bearing on Jordan the ball player. The Fade Away speaks for itself.
So what say you, faithful reader, intrepid fellow bloggers? Should be judge a player only on the merits of his game? That is what we tune in or pay to see after all. Or do you feel a player should be responsible for his downtime actions? Do you feel being accused of something like rape should forever be a black mark on the resume of a player? Let me know in the comments section. Or my fellow bloggers on this site, write a response post.
There were many people with whom I talked in the days following his death who said something along the lines of "Fuck him! I hope he burns in Hell for being a pederast!" They didn't think about him as the King of Pop or his huge influence on pop culture. To them he would be remembered as someone who he diddled kiddies. Nothing else he did during the rest of his life mattered in the least.
Other people I talked to felt like the allegations should have nothing to do with how they view Michael The Entertainer. They felt that all his accomplishments and the body of work over the course of his career stood on its own. That his later legal troubles should be a footnote in the legacy of Michael.
Me, personally, am somewhere in the middle. I don't think it can be overstated his influence on pop culture. Modern R&B artists like Usher, Ne-yo, Chris Brown, et al. owe their entire careers to the work Michael put in all those years ago. Groups from New Edition, a J-5 clone, to N'Sync were built in a mold that the Jackson 5 created years ago. Pop music had never seen such a prolific single artist prior to MJ and more than likely won't see one after.
My childhood memories are filled with memorable Michael Moments. I remember how excited I was when Michael guess starred on my favorite TV, The Simpsons. I remember the video premiere of his epic video "Black or White" on Fox. I still get chills when I see clips from the Super Bowl XXVII halftime show. The way he popped out from under the stage and paused a moment to revel in his awesomeness set a bar for half time shows that I doubt will ever be topped(unless you count the Janet/Justin wardrobe malfuction. But that was awesome in a completely different way).
While I will always hold a special place in my heart for MJ, but there was a certain amount of luster removed from his status by the allegations that he fondled a few children. I don't buy the idea that these charges came from people just looking to cash in. Even in such a litigious nation such as this charges of child molestation aren't filed lightly.
Even with the knowledge that he may very well have gone all Catholic Priest on a few kids in his time, I view Michael's career as a net positive. This is interesting for me because I often hold players' off-field/off-court actions against them. Kobe Bryant might be one of the better players ever but he's an asshole and a alleged rapist. Jim Brown may be an all-time great running back and social justice crusader but he also beat the shit out of his wife and girlfriend. Muhammad Ali, might have been the best boxer to lace up a pair of gloves but from what I read in Ghost of Manilla by Mark Shram he was quite the slandering asshole. I have a hard time separating my hate of Karl Malone and his dirty play from my hate of his being repeated dead beat dad.
Despite my feelings that players actions off the field and their deeds on it should both be considered when discussing how great they are, not everyone agrees. I have a friend who cares not about a player's off field transgressions. He feels that whatever accomplishments a player has should be the only means of judging them. That Michael Jordan's habitual gambling was so crippling that he would cheat a grandma to win has no bearing on Jordan the ball player. The Fade Away speaks for itself.
So what say you, faithful reader, intrepid fellow bloggers? Should be judge a player only on the merits of his game? That is what we tune in or pay to see after all. Or do you feel a player should be responsible for his downtime actions? Do you feel being accused of something like rape should forever be a black mark on the resume of a player? Let me know in the comments section. Or my fellow bloggers on this site, write a response post.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
US loses 3-2 To Brazil In Confederation Cup Final. Americans Make Collective Wanking Motion
After much hype and hope had built up surrounding Team USA's advance into the Confederation Cup final for a rematch with Brazil the end result demonstrated to burgeoning American soccer fans what the rest of the world already knew. The US has a long way to go before being on the same level of the elites of the soccer world
Many pointed to Team USA's victory over #1 ranked Spain to advance to the finals as a a soccer equivalent of the Miracle on Ice minus the cold war implications that made that game so poignant. The truth is to even be allowed to play Spain the US was afforded an absurd amount of luck. After being dismembered by the far superior Brazilian team the US not only needed to defeat Egypt by 3 but needed Brazil to kick the shit out of the Italians by at least 3. Somehow both these improbable events transpired and the US had it's shot at#1 ranked Spanish team.
Many people, because they lack originality, are dubbing Team USA's toppling of soccer powerhouse Spain, "The Miracle on Grass". Personally, I feel that title is more fitting for Michael Phelps. I barely have the motivation to put on pants when I am high and yet he managed to win 8 Gold medals? THAT'S impressive. Anyway, more than skill or tenacity or teamwork or any of the other horseshit the media throws out as the cause of the worst defeat of Spain by the Americans since the Spanish/American War there is only one reason Team USA came away with a 2-0 victory. They were luckier than Longshot holding a four leaf clover with a rabbit's foot shoved up his ass. The US team had all of 2 shots on goal and magically they both went in. Meanwhile, Spain had 11 shots on goal and failed to score worse than me on prom night. So yes, the result was a nice shiny win but the idea that the win was somehow a defining moment that would propel the team on to better things was wrong. You play that game out with the same amount of shots on goal and I bet 9 out of 10 times USA loses.
Truthfully I expected another beat down at the hands of the Brazilians. They do so many things better than us it's not even funny. Better waxing, better women, better movies about street gangs, better plane crashes, you name it they do it better. So it only made sense that their soccer team would be far superior as well. The first time these two teams squared off the disparity between the teams was evident and the US went down 0-4 to Brazil.
This time though the confident US team came out and kicked some Brazilian ass, going into the half up 2-0. Coming out of halftime the Brazil team woke up and realized that they could beat the US team drunk and high. They then proceeded to score 3 goals in the half to win 3-2.
Here in Seattle, where soccer is the new hip thing to like, this years fixed gear bikes, there were people who actually cared about this loss. The rest of the country made a dismissive wanking motion and either went back to watching NASCAR or baseball or drinking heavily, as it should be. Soccer pundits try to pump fear and say that one day America too, like the rest of the world, will bow to almighty deity of soccer. Good thing that'll never happen. Because if I know one thing it is this, Nobody Likes Soccer
Many pointed to Team USA's victory over #1 ranked Spain to advance to the finals as a a soccer equivalent of the Miracle on Ice minus the cold war implications that made that game so poignant. The truth is to even be allowed to play Spain the US was afforded an absurd amount of luck. After being dismembered by the far superior Brazilian team the US not only needed to defeat Egypt by 3 but needed Brazil to kick the shit out of the Italians by at least 3. Somehow both these improbable events transpired and the US had it's shot at#1 ranked Spanish team.
Many people, because they lack originality, are dubbing Team USA's toppling of soccer powerhouse Spain, "The Miracle on Grass". Personally, I feel that title is more fitting for Michael Phelps. I barely have the motivation to put on pants when I am high and yet he managed to win 8 Gold medals? THAT'S impressive. Anyway, more than skill or tenacity or teamwork or any of the other horseshit the media throws out as the cause of the worst defeat of Spain by the Americans since the Spanish/American War there is only one reason Team USA came away with a 2-0 victory. They were luckier than Longshot holding a four leaf clover with a rabbit's foot shoved up his ass. The US team had all of 2 shots on goal and magically they both went in. Meanwhile, Spain had 11 shots on goal and failed to score worse than me on prom night. So yes, the result was a nice shiny win but the idea that the win was somehow a defining moment that would propel the team on to better things was wrong. You play that game out with the same amount of shots on goal and I bet 9 out of 10 times USA loses.
Truthfully I expected another beat down at the hands of the Brazilians. They do so many things better than us it's not even funny. Better waxing, better women, better movies about street gangs, better plane crashes, you name it they do it better. So it only made sense that their soccer team would be far superior as well. The first time these two teams squared off the disparity between the teams was evident and the US went down 0-4 to Brazil.
This time though the confident US team came out and kicked some Brazilian ass, going into the half up 2-0. Coming out of halftime the Brazil team woke up and realized that they could beat the US team drunk and high. They then proceeded to score 3 goals in the half to win 3-2.
Here in Seattle, where soccer is the new hip thing to like, this years fixed gear bikes, there were people who actually cared about this loss. The rest of the country made a dismissive wanking motion and either went back to watching NASCAR or baseball or drinking heavily, as it should be. Soccer pundits try to pump fear and say that one day America too, like the rest of the world, will bow to almighty deity of soccer. Good thing that'll never happen. Because if I know one thing it is this, Nobody Likes Soccer
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
In America, First You Get The Money, Then You Get The Power...
Donte Stallworth is a lucky son of a bitch. He was given his sentencing today, a little over 3 months after the Cleveland Browns wide receiver was arrested for vehicular manslaughter and DUI after mowing down a pedestrian like he was living out "Death Race 2000". The results, in my mind, further the idea that the OJ trial was much less about race and much more about money. I feel that in today's society people like OJ, Paris, or Donte aren't getting off because of race or celebrity, they are getting off because they are rich as fuck.
At the time of his arrest, given the witness reports and his .126 blood alcohol level, it seemed a forgone conclusion that Stallworth would be serving a LONG time in the pen. The normal sentence for non multi-millionaires for this crime is a decade and a half stint on the big house. Donte Stallworth received 30 days in jail. Granted he also is under house-arrest for two years, has to complete 1000 hours of community service and in on probation for 8 years. But compared to 15 in the slammer all that is a slap on the wrist. Plus he'll only do 2/3rds of the time if he's a good boy.
His ability to escape what seemed to be certain hard time in the pen is a feat more impressive than David Blane freezing himself in a block of ice. Though, unlike Blane's trick one does not need any sort of experience to get themselves out of such situations. All you need is a healthy amount of cash money.
The exact terms of Stallworth's plea agreement that allowed him to catch the bullet of prison time like Ozymandias are unknown. What is known is it must have been a fuck ton of money to be able to convince the court system to drop a sentence from 15 years to 30 days.
In his ability to get off relatively free, Donte Stallworth exposed something that is known to anybody who has ever gone through the court system, you get what you pair for. It doesn't matter what you do murder your ex-wife, drive drunk, kill someone while driving drunk, rape somebody, all you need is a lotta cheese and you are off like Mister Miracle, Scott Free. Money is power, like you needed me to remind you.
Look at Leonard Little, whose case is eerily similar to that of Stallworth's. In 1998 he was driving home hammered when he ran into Susan Gutweiler, mother of one, killing her. For his actions he received 90 days in jail, 4 years of probation and 1000 hours of community service. As if that wasn't bad enough in 2004 Leornard was pulled over for speeding when the cops noticed he had bloodshot and watery eyes, and reeked of booze. After failing three field sobriety tests he was hauled in for DUI and speeding. This would seem like a clear cut case and that Little was going to be going away for a long time. But Leonard's copious piles of cash had other plans. He got off with just a speeding charge.
So while many people are rightfully outraged about this whole thing, they seem to lose sight of the fact that Donte is merely living out the American dream. You can have the best of anything if you are willing to pay for it, here in America. Legal counsel is no different. So try not to act too surprised the next time some athlete/celebrity type gets off with minimal consequences after paying more than the GDP of a small banana republic. That's the American way.
At the time of his arrest, given the witness reports and his .126 blood alcohol level, it seemed a forgone conclusion that Stallworth would be serving a LONG time in the pen. The normal sentence for non multi-millionaires for this crime is a decade and a half stint on the big house. Donte Stallworth received 30 days in jail. Granted he also is under house-arrest for two years, has to complete 1000 hours of community service and in on probation for 8 years. But compared to 15 in the slammer all that is a slap on the wrist. Plus he'll only do 2/3rds of the time if he's a good boy.
His ability to escape what seemed to be certain hard time in the pen is a feat more impressive than David Blane freezing himself in a block of ice. Though, unlike Blane's trick one does not need any sort of experience to get themselves out of such situations. All you need is a healthy amount of cash money.
The exact terms of Stallworth's plea agreement that allowed him to catch the bullet of prison time like Ozymandias are unknown. What is known is it must have been a fuck ton of money to be able to convince the court system to drop a sentence from 15 years to 30 days.
In his ability to get off relatively free, Donte Stallworth exposed something that is known to anybody who has ever gone through the court system, you get what you pair for. It doesn't matter what you do murder your ex-wife, drive drunk, kill someone while driving drunk, rape somebody, all you need is a lotta cheese and you are off like Mister Miracle, Scott Free. Money is power, like you needed me to remind you.
Look at Leonard Little, whose case is eerily similar to that of Stallworth's. In 1998 he was driving home hammered when he ran into Susan Gutweiler, mother of one, killing her. For his actions he received 90 days in jail, 4 years of probation and 1000 hours of community service. As if that wasn't bad enough in 2004 Leornard was pulled over for speeding when the cops noticed he had bloodshot and watery eyes, and reeked of booze. After failing three field sobriety tests he was hauled in for DUI and speeding. This would seem like a clear cut case and that Little was going to be going away for a long time. But Leonard's copious piles of cash had other plans. He got off with just a speeding charge.
So while many people are rightfully outraged about this whole thing, they seem to lose sight of the fact that Donte is merely living out the American dream. You can have the best of anything if you are willing to pay for it, here in America. Legal counsel is no different. So try not to act too surprised the next time some athlete/celebrity type gets off with minimal consequences after paying more than the GDP of a small banana republic. That's the American way.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Dominatr(Fel)ix: An Omen for 2009?
So, in perhaps what will be my new tradition, I am doing my season preview for the M's after the first game. Because we here at NLS like to do things a little differently. And also because I was too upset last night to post.
If you have been following The M's through the off-season you'll know that GM Jack Zduriencik put together a team that cannot only contend this season and but also has the financial flexibility to make moves to improve in the seasons to follow. This may not seem like much but if you have any knowledge of the Dark Ages of Marinerdom(Aka the Bavasi years)you know this is a very welcome change.
If you just joined us then you are probably wondering who the hell these guys are. In truth they aren't too different than the fictional Cleveland Indians from "Major League" though sadly lacking any felons(if only my dreams of making it to the big leagues panned out). A bunch of relative nobodies who'll more than likely come together and exceed most people's expectation. To familiarize you with the '09 M's I'm gonna do a quick rundown to help you out.
Starting Pitchers:
King Felix
Erik "The Interview" Bedard
Silva
Washburn
RRS
Basically it's Felix and Bedard starring in "Two Aces" and then a ton of ?'s. Silva should be better than last year but it's hard to be worse. Washburn should not throw teammates under the bus, also not suck like a toothless hoo'er. RRS is decent, a likable Australian Washburn with cool glasses. If Felix takes a step foward, mixes things up(which he didn't do that well today) and doesn't go Rocco Siffredi on the fastball and Bedard can keep his girl parts clean we'll have the best 1-2 punch outside of Rocky Bernard.
If you get a couple drinks of regression towards the mean this rotation looks downright fuckable. But reality can knock the beer goggles right off and hopes of greatness can disappear in an instant.
Bullpen:
A bunch of live arms, most of whom have trouble throwing strikes but should still be rather effective. Morrow and his insulin pump are now the closer(that still pains me to type). Last year's #1 draft pick, Josh Fields, will join the club sometime later this summer adding to the BP depth.
Line Up:
C: Johjima
1B: Branyan
2B: Lopez
SS: Betancourt
3B: Beltre
LF: Chavez/Balentien
CF: Gutierrez
RF: Ichiro
DH: Griffey
Nothing too intimidating here and yet it should be a shit ton better than last year's line up. Not giving at-bats to black holes of suck like Vidro, Sexson, and Cairo can only help. If this line-up doesn't give you confidence, that's alright. This line-up doesn't do much for me either. But having and actual DH and 1st base bats is a nice change. That said we're not gonna be the Sox or Yankees with run scoring. This is definitely not our strong suit.
Defense:
This is the area that the 2009 M's are the most different from their '08 mouth breathing breathren. When Ichiro comes back the M's will run out three CF to roam the expansive Safeco outfield. Where last year Raul Ibañez seemed to almost magically push balls away from him through a force field of suck, Endy Chavez will catch damn near anything over the 3rd baseman's head. Sure, on occasion they'll let Griffey out of his DH cage and let him roam left. But for the sake of his and the fans' health he will probably DH far more often than he fields. Also gone is Big Suxy, who despite his freakish frame was an abysmal defensive first baseman.
Defense helps pitching espescially in Safeco field. Flyballers like Washburn and RRS will benefit the most from this paradigm shift. Hell look at the 2001-2003 rotations. Not a true ace in the lot. You had tools like Aaron Sele and John Halama win 15+ games. They never topped those feats. Why due to defense!
Overall:
Solid Pitching, meh Offense, and spectacular defense will be the hallmark of this M's team. Along with most other smart people on the interwebs I'm predicting about 70-80 games and a chance to compete for the AL west which is Terry Schaivo weak. Hopefully my predictions come true and we can put the nightmare 2008 season behind us. If not it'll be another long season spent waiting for the hope of football to save us.
Some fool might ask something like "Well if the Mariners end up sucking and the Sounders FC keeps on winning won't you be forced to accept soccer?" The answer to this fuckwit is a resounding "Get fucked. Nobody likes soccer!"
If you have been following The M's through the off-season you'll know that GM Jack Zduriencik put together a team that cannot only contend this season and but also has the financial flexibility to make moves to improve in the seasons to follow. This may not seem like much but if you have any knowledge of the Dark Ages of Marinerdom(Aka the Bavasi years)you know this is a very welcome change.
If you just joined us then you are probably wondering who the hell these guys are. In truth they aren't too different than the fictional Cleveland Indians from "Major League" though sadly lacking any felons(if only my dreams of making it to the big leagues panned out). A bunch of relative nobodies who'll more than likely come together and exceed most people's expectation. To familiarize you with the '09 M's I'm gonna do a quick rundown to help you out.
Starting Pitchers:
King Felix
Erik "The Interview" Bedard
Silva
Washburn
RRS
Basically it's Felix and Bedard starring in "Two Aces" and then a ton of ?'s. Silva should be better than last year but it's hard to be worse. Washburn should not throw teammates under the bus, also not suck like a toothless hoo'er. RRS is decent, a likable Australian Washburn with cool glasses. If Felix takes a step foward, mixes things up(which he didn't do that well today) and doesn't go Rocco Siffredi on the fastball and Bedard can keep his girl parts clean we'll have the best 1-2 punch outside of Rocky Bernard.
If you get a couple drinks of regression towards the mean this rotation looks downright fuckable. But reality can knock the beer goggles right off and hopes of greatness can disappear in an instant.
Bullpen:
A bunch of live arms, most of whom have trouble throwing strikes but should still be rather effective. Morrow and his insulin pump are now the closer(that still pains me to type). Last year's #1 draft pick, Josh Fields, will join the club sometime later this summer adding to the BP depth.
Line Up:
C: Johjima
1B: Branyan
2B: Lopez
SS: Betancourt
3B: Beltre
LF: Chavez/Balentien
CF: Gutierrez
RF: Ichiro
DH: Griffey
Nothing too intimidating here and yet it should be a shit ton better than last year's line up. Not giving at-bats to black holes of suck like Vidro, Sexson, and Cairo can only help. If this line-up doesn't give you confidence, that's alright. This line-up doesn't do much for me either. But having and actual DH and 1st base bats is a nice change. That said we're not gonna be the Sox or Yankees with run scoring. This is definitely not our strong suit.
Defense:
This is the area that the 2009 M's are the most different from their '08 mouth breathing breathren. When Ichiro comes back the M's will run out three CF to roam the expansive Safeco outfield. Where last year Raul Ibañez seemed to almost magically push balls away from him through a force field of suck, Endy Chavez will catch damn near anything over the 3rd baseman's head. Sure, on occasion they'll let Griffey out of his DH cage and let him roam left. But for the sake of his and the fans' health he will probably DH far more often than he fields. Also gone is Big Suxy, who despite his freakish frame was an abysmal defensive first baseman.
Defense helps pitching espescially in Safeco field. Flyballers like Washburn and RRS will benefit the most from this paradigm shift. Hell look at the 2001-2003 rotations. Not a true ace in the lot. You had tools like Aaron Sele and John Halama win 15+ games. They never topped those feats. Why due to defense!
Overall:
Solid Pitching, meh Offense, and spectacular defense will be the hallmark of this M's team. Along with most other smart people on the interwebs I'm predicting about 70-80 games and a chance to compete for the AL west which is Terry Schaivo weak. Hopefully my predictions come true and we can put the nightmare 2008 season behind us. If not it'll be another long season spent waiting for the hope of football to save us.
Some fool might ask something like "Well if the Mariners end up sucking and the Sounders FC keeps on winning won't you be forced to accept soccer?" The answer to this fuckwit is a resounding "Get fucked. Nobody likes soccer!"
Monday, March 9, 2009
Seattle Sports Slurry aka I <3 alliteration
A lot has happened in the Seattle Sports Scene in the months that have passed without regular posting. To catch up I'm gonna rundown the various storylines that have cropped up and provide some of my own thoughts as well as links to complement said thoughts. After this I hope to get back to posting regularly on one subject providing my usual ample amounts of snark, porn and drug references mixed in a bit of occasional commentary and attempts at analysis. Enough with the formalities, let's blog!
I think the major occurrence that happened while I was busy neglecting my baby like I was Karl Malone was the return of The Kid. You would be hard pressed to find a fan in Marinerdom that wasn't excited about the return of Ken Griffey Junior to the Mariners, even if he isn't the Junior of old. Many people, including Junior himself are hoping that he will spend a significant amount of time out in the field. Dave over at the always insightful USSM lays out a hell of an argument as to why Junior should see as little time in the field as possible. Basically it comes down the fact that compared to Junior, Raul's terrible defense over the past few years looks gold glove worthy (take that as you will). My hope is that Griffey sees the outfield minimally and platoons at DH the rest of the time. The one downside to Griffey coming back is that the M's front office is no longer forced to find an interesting way of selling this team of relatively unknown, albeit solid, players.
That brings me to my next point, Jack Zduriencik, the Mariners new GM, has done a very solid job of acquiring cheap talent. Many Mariner fans would look at the guys one the 2009 roster and automatically assume we are in for another 100+ loss season. I have to disagree with that idea if for no other reason than defensively we are light years ahead of last years defensively inept team. To the uninformed defense is the third and least important aspect winning baseball games. Hell to some it may be even a distant fourth behind the all-important yet ever so unquantifiable chemistry factor.
To know just how much defense matters I present two examples. The first is the offensive juggernaut that was the 2005 New York Yankees. Despite having an incredibly impressive offense and high-powered pitching staff the Yankees fell short in the playoffs. The reason? That team possessed one of the worst defenses to ever make the playoffs. In the playoffs, when the importance of every out is magnified and runs scored are at a premium a poor defense can be the spark the destroys the Hindenburg.
Conversely, the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays, much like the 2001 Mariners relied on their defensive prowess to advance all the way to the World Series. An already solid young pitching staff was augmented by a defense that could convert balls in play into outs, balls that the 2005 Yankees would only be able to make nominal attempts to catch.
With the defensive upgrades and the possibility of a decent amount of production from the DH platoon and first base this team will be better than people think. The AL West is east-coast-pot weak and in the only 4 team division in baseball some people think the M's have a decent shot at winning it. I, for one, am holding out hope.
The Seahawks have the #4 pick in the Draft. Too bad it's a pretty weak draft. There has been a lot of speculation on who The 'Hawks will draft. I have no real idea about what Tim Ruskell is going to do with the #4 overall pick. He moves in mysterious ways. But I would like the Seahawks to get some O-Line depth and find someone that can replace Brian Russel. Because despite the apologists out there that try to cover-up B-Russ' suckitude like holocaust deniers, there is no religious body to destroy the massive amounts of video evidence that display Russel's pure suck.
The Seahawks signed Colin Cole to be paired with man-beast and possible Werewolf by Night, Brandon Mebane at DT. Ostensibly this move will allow Mebane to move to the more disruptive 3-technique tackle where his quickness off the ball and ability to use his leverage to break through blocks will allow him to rush the passer.
Sadly, I don't see this being the case. Not because I don't think Mebane has the skills but because I don't think Cole has the skills. Cole was a back-up on a terrible Packers run defense last season and, when given playing time, was ineffective. That is the football equivalent of being the guitarist for Limp Bizkit after Wes Borland left and being fired. It wasn't as if there is some high standard being set by the person being replaced. So if the replacement performs below the artificially low level set by their predecessor they must really be terrible.
Cole, despite being a seemingly stout 6'1" and 330lbs, fails to hold the point of attack against a double team which was the specific duty he was brought in for. If Cole is blown off the ball easily and fails to command a double team then Brandon Mebane won't have the luxury of seeing one on one match-up to get to the quarterback. If this is the case, it slows Mebane's pass rush considerably and could well be the difference between a hurried and incomplete pass and a complete pass. Let us hope that Red Bryant steps up big time this year and takes over Cole's job.
Steve Sarkesian, former offensive coordinator at perenial powerhouse USC, was hired to turn the UW Football team around. Coming in late to the recruiting process, due to the exit of Tyrone Willingham, Sarkesian managed to put together a respectable recuiting class, despite losing out on a few quality recruits at the last minute.
In his short tenure at Montlake so far Sarkesian has managed to impress. He brings a much needed vitality to the program that was sorely missing under the dour business like approach of Willingham. I wanted Willingham to suceed but by the end it was clear he was not the right man for the job. Already Sarkesian is making a big push for the 2010 recruiting class. Even going so far as to simulate coming out of the tunnel at Husky Stadium complete with smoke and effects. And while technically this is a recruiting violation I enjoy seeing the coach go to such lengths to get kids excited about playing at Montlake again.
While Dawg fans might see more kids leave the program than huge dividends early on, down the road the intensity and results will be there. Already, there is talk of possibly getting Jake Heaps, considered one of the best prospects in the nation to commit early to UW. IF this happens, and that is a big if considering the offers he has in front of him, it would be a huge gain for the Huskies who could use his commitment as a recruiting tool to try and draw in more talent with the lure of playing with Heaps. After enduring the worst season in Husky football history, a strong draft class, especially one highlighted by Heaps, would do a lot to give Dawg fans hope for the future.
That bout does it for my Seattle Sports Slurry. Hopefully you will enjoy my efforts to give you interesting bits of food for thought on the recent major local story lines. I would update you on Sounders FC news but we all know Nobody Likes Soccer.
I think the major occurrence that happened while I was busy neglecting my baby like I was Karl Malone was the return of The Kid. You would be hard pressed to find a fan in Marinerdom that wasn't excited about the return of Ken Griffey Junior to the Mariners, even if he isn't the Junior of old. Many people, including Junior himself are hoping that he will spend a significant amount of time out in the field. Dave over at the always insightful USSM lays out a hell of an argument as to why Junior should see as little time in the field as possible. Basically it comes down the fact that compared to Junior, Raul's terrible defense over the past few years looks gold glove worthy (take that as you will). My hope is that Griffey sees the outfield minimally and platoons at DH the rest of the time. The one downside to Griffey coming back is that the M's front office is no longer forced to find an interesting way of selling this team of relatively unknown, albeit solid, players.
That brings me to my next point, Jack Zduriencik, the Mariners new GM, has done a very solid job of acquiring cheap talent. Many Mariner fans would look at the guys one the 2009 roster and automatically assume we are in for another 100+ loss season. I have to disagree with that idea if for no other reason than defensively we are light years ahead of last years defensively inept team. To the uninformed defense is the third and least important aspect winning baseball games. Hell to some it may be even a distant fourth behind the all-important yet ever so unquantifiable chemistry factor.
To know just how much defense matters I present two examples. The first is the offensive juggernaut that was the 2005 New York Yankees. Despite having an incredibly impressive offense and high-powered pitching staff the Yankees fell short in the playoffs. The reason? That team possessed one of the worst defenses to ever make the playoffs. In the playoffs, when the importance of every out is magnified and runs scored are at a premium a poor defense can be the spark the destroys the Hindenburg.
Conversely, the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays, much like the 2001 Mariners relied on their defensive prowess to advance all the way to the World Series. An already solid young pitching staff was augmented by a defense that could convert balls in play into outs, balls that the 2005 Yankees would only be able to make nominal attempts to catch.
With the defensive upgrades and the possibility of a decent amount of production from the DH platoon and first base this team will be better than people think. The AL West is east-coast-pot weak and in the only 4 team division in baseball some people think the M's have a decent shot at winning it. I, for one, am holding out hope.
The Seahawks have the #4 pick in the Draft. Too bad it's a pretty weak draft. There has been a lot of speculation on who The 'Hawks will draft. I have no real idea about what Tim Ruskell is going to do with the #4 overall pick. He moves in mysterious ways. But I would like the Seahawks to get some O-Line depth and find someone that can replace Brian Russel. Because despite the apologists out there that try to cover-up B-Russ' suckitude like holocaust deniers, there is no religious body to destroy the massive amounts of video evidence that display Russel's pure suck.
The Seahawks signed Colin Cole to be paired with man-beast and possible Werewolf by Night, Brandon Mebane at DT. Ostensibly this move will allow Mebane to move to the more disruptive 3-technique tackle where his quickness off the ball and ability to use his leverage to break through blocks will allow him to rush the passer.
Sadly, I don't see this being the case. Not because I don't think Mebane has the skills but because I don't think Cole has the skills. Cole was a back-up on a terrible Packers run defense last season and, when given playing time, was ineffective. That is the football equivalent of being the guitarist for Limp Bizkit after Wes Borland left and being fired. It wasn't as if there is some high standard being set by the person being replaced. So if the replacement performs below the artificially low level set by their predecessor they must really be terrible.
Cole, despite being a seemingly stout 6'1" and 330lbs, fails to hold the point of attack against a double team which was the specific duty he was brought in for. If Cole is blown off the ball easily and fails to command a double team then Brandon Mebane won't have the luxury of seeing one on one match-up to get to the quarterback. If this is the case, it slows Mebane's pass rush considerably and could well be the difference between a hurried and incomplete pass and a complete pass. Let us hope that Red Bryant steps up big time this year and takes over Cole's job.
Steve Sarkesian, former offensive coordinator at perenial powerhouse USC, was hired to turn the UW Football team around. Coming in late to the recruiting process, due to the exit of Tyrone Willingham, Sarkesian managed to put together a respectable recuiting class, despite losing out on a few quality recruits at the last minute.
In his short tenure at Montlake so far Sarkesian has managed to impress. He brings a much needed vitality to the program that was sorely missing under the dour business like approach of Willingham. I wanted Willingham to suceed but by the end it was clear he was not the right man for the job. Already Sarkesian is making a big push for the 2010 recruiting class. Even going so far as to simulate coming out of the tunnel at Husky Stadium complete with smoke and effects. And while technically this is a recruiting violation I enjoy seeing the coach go to such lengths to get kids excited about playing at Montlake again.
While Dawg fans might see more kids leave the program than huge dividends early on, down the road the intensity and results will be there. Already, there is talk of possibly getting Jake Heaps, considered one of the best prospects in the nation to commit early to UW. IF this happens, and that is a big if considering the offers he has in front of him, it would be a huge gain for the Huskies who could use his commitment as a recruiting tool to try and draw in more talent with the lure of playing with Heaps. After enduring the worst season in Husky football history, a strong draft class, especially one highlighted by Heaps, would do a lot to give Dawg fans hope for the future.
That bout does it for my Seattle Sports Slurry. Hopefully you will enjoy my efforts to give you interesting bits of food for thought on the recent major local story lines. I would update you on Sounders FC news but we all know Nobody Likes Soccer.
What Is This Emotion I Am Feeling? Huh-ope-uh, Is That Right? Hope?
Faithful readers, it has been too long since anyone has taken the time out of their busy lives to pay attention to this looker of a blog, as such it has fallen into disrepair. I aim to make that right and get to posting back on here again on a somewhat regular basis. Now, onto the post!
The UW Mens Husky Basketball team won the fuggin Pac-10 outright!!! Take another look at that last sentence and savor it. The team that was predicted to carry on the established 2008 continuity of mediocrity and finish 5th at best in the weakened Pac-10 won the title for the first time since 1953! In a sports year that has left many Seattle sports fans on the ledge ready to jump the UW mens Basketball team has been a comforting voice telling us to step back in the window, things aren't really that bad.
With a number 2 seed within easy reach should the team win the Pac-10 tourney The Dawgs are looking like the real deal. This would almost assure The Dawgs a spot in the sweet 16 and from there only 3 wins removed from the National Championship game. I believe with the deep and balanced squad The Dawgs have this year they have a decent shot at the Final Four, if not beyond.
There are two major things that need to happen for us to go as far as I believe we can. The first is the Dawgs need to knock down their outside shots. Justin Dentmon hit on 43% of his attempts from beyond the arc this season and is going to need to get his groove back after going 5 for his last 25 from deep. If The Dawgs are knocking down their outside shots it makes them an almost impossible team to guard. Their already potent drive and dish game is augmented by the threat of the outside shot and can result in teams biting hard on the pump fake making easy driving lanes.
The second key is dealing with the refs. The Huskies up-tempo fast-breaking style of play starts with a Kyle Gass and Jack Black style Tenacious D. The massive amounts of pressure Washington puts on opposing ball handlers leads to forced shots, long rebounds and turnovers. All are major components in UW's Leonard Little-esque drives to the hoop that often result in trips to the line with the Darryl Strawberry like frequency. But the consistancy of that component of the game was in part due to the often iffy reffing of Pac-10 officials. If the officials in the tourney decide to call a tighter game and stall our agressive advances like the fat friend of the hot girl at the bar the wins necesary to advance to basketball Canaan aka Detroit-WTF?! Who thought it would be a good idea to host the Final Four in a "city" where this happens?-will be much harder to come by.
If the Huskies can have these two factors fall in their favor I think there is a real shot at they will be Detroit bound-again how odd is to want more than anything to punch your ticket going TO Detroit aka the nation's anus?
After a terribly disapointing 2008 sports-wise a deep run into the NCAA tournament for The Dawgs would be a dose of Zoloft the city of Seattle desperately needs.
The UW Mens Husky Basketball team won the fuggin Pac-10 outright!!! Take another look at that last sentence and savor it. The team that was predicted to carry on the established 2008 continuity of mediocrity and finish 5th at best in the weakened Pac-10 won the title for the first time since 1953! In a sports year that has left many Seattle sports fans on the ledge ready to jump the UW mens Basketball team has been a comforting voice telling us to step back in the window, things aren't really that bad.
With a number 2 seed within easy reach should the team win the Pac-10 tourney The Dawgs are looking like the real deal. This would almost assure The Dawgs a spot in the sweet 16 and from there only 3 wins removed from the National Championship game. I believe with the deep and balanced squad The Dawgs have this year they have a decent shot at the Final Four, if not beyond.
There are two major things that need to happen for us to go as far as I believe we can. The first is the Dawgs need to knock down their outside shots. Justin Dentmon hit on 43% of his attempts from beyond the arc this season and is going to need to get his groove back after going 5 for his last 25 from deep. If The Dawgs are knocking down their outside shots it makes them an almost impossible team to guard. Their already potent drive and dish game is augmented by the threat of the outside shot and can result in teams biting hard on the pump fake making easy driving lanes.
The second key is dealing with the refs. The Huskies up-tempo fast-breaking style of play starts with a Kyle Gass and Jack Black style Tenacious D. The massive amounts of pressure Washington puts on opposing ball handlers leads to forced shots, long rebounds and turnovers. All are major components in UW's Leonard Little-esque drives to the hoop that often result in trips to the line with the Darryl Strawberry like frequency. But the consistancy of that component of the game was in part due to the often iffy reffing of Pac-10 officials. If the officials in the tourney decide to call a tighter game and stall our agressive advances like the fat friend of the hot girl at the bar the wins necesary to advance to basketball Canaan aka Detroit-WTF?! Who thought it would be a good idea to host the Final Four in a "city" where this happens?-will be much harder to come by.
If the Huskies can have these two factors fall in their favor I think there is a real shot at they will be Detroit bound-again how odd is to want more than anything to punch your ticket going TO Detroit aka the nation's anus?
After a terribly disapointing 2008 sports-wise a deep run into the NCAA tournament for The Dawgs would be a dose of Zoloft the city of Seattle desperately needs.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Philly Fans "Title or bust!" Me "Bust away, then!"
As the Philadelphia Phillies were kicking the holy crap out of Tampa Bay last night the near inevitability of a Phillies World Series truly set upon me. My heart seized up, could the city of brotherly love really handle a championship? Or would the ensuing celebration turn into something that would put the L.A riots to shame? My guess is the former would happen. And if that's the case we, as sports fans, need to look deep inside our sporting souls answer this nagging question. Do the sports fans of the city of Philadelphia really deserve a championship?
It was the year 1983, I had just been born a few months earlier, Reagan had been in office for a little over two years, the Sunset Strip was filled with crappy hair bands, and the Philadelphia 76ers had just won a NBA title, the last title to be brought to the city. In the mean time Philly has had both the Iggles and The Sixers make it to a title game only to fall short to dynasties, The Pats and Lakers respectively. For such a drought many would agree that it is indeed time for Philly to get a title. I might even agree with this idea except for one thing, Philly fans.
For being named the city of brotherly love, Philly has some of the harshest fans in all of America. The old Vet(Veterans Stadium) had a jail underneath it so there was a space large enough to hold all the rowdy drunken phanatics. It even had it's own court and judge to process said drunks. I think this was and still is a unique feature among sports stadiums.
In 1999, when Michael Irvin went head first into the green carpet covered cement that passed for turf at the Vet he severely injured his neck and had to be carted off the field on a stretcher. Iggles fans, being the classy bunch they are, booed the hell out of Irvin as he left with what turned out to be a career ending injury.
Also in '99 Phillies fans rained down D batteries on J.D Drew, who, after being drafted by Philly, had held out for a trade to another team. This is a relatively tame example of Philly fans assholeishness.
1999 was a year that Philadelphia raised the bar for sports asshole all over the country. Matthew Scott, the first recipient of a total hand transplant threw out the first pitch for the Phillies but not to the satisfaction of the fans. When the ball he threw from his transplanted hand bounced up to the plate the fans let him have it with a chorus of boos.
When the Iggles drafted franchise quarterback Donovan McNabb, also in 1999, the pick was not met with cheers or even anything close. Wanting their team to take running back Ricky Williams
the fans booed the hell out of McNabb as he went up to the stage.
How'd that work out for ya Philly? McNabb do anything for you guys?
Earlier this year when whoring herself out for Pennsylvania's votes, republican VP nominee Sarah Palin decided to flaunt her "hockey mom" cred and attend a Flyers game. When warned before hand that Philly fans will boo any and everything she said something like "That's ok. I'll have my daughter, Piper, in a flyers jersey too they wouldn't dare boo her." Oh-ho-ho how little did she know. I guess in Alaska word hadn't gotten up there about Philly fans. Here's what happened.
Actually this is the one booing I'll give Philadelphia fans, good job guys. If only she got booed at every event she went to like she was booed at the Flyers game.
Even Santa Claus can't catch a break when he stops by Philly. In 1968, Frank Olivo, was dressed in a red Santa outfit in an attempt to spread christmas cheer at the last Iggles game of the year. Iggles fans have tried to distort the myth by sayin Olivo was drunk and his suit in tatters. This was not the case. Olivo was greeted not only with the standard Philly chorus of boos but also a hail of snow balls. So snowblind(not from coke, mind you) was he that officials had to come to his rescue and escort him off the field.
With all that said can you imagine what might happen if/when the Phillies win the Series? The streets will be like Neverland Ranch was for little kids, not safe under any circumstances. And for that matter, do Philly fans, with all that booing and jeering even dieserve a title? I think the answer is clearly a resounding NO!
I hope somehow, magically the Rays come back forwm being down 3-1 and steal the World Series from Philadelphia. Then my recently delfated schaudenfreude hard-on will be back to full mast and I will be a very happy man.
It was the year 1983, I had just been born a few months earlier, Reagan had been in office for a little over two years, the Sunset Strip was filled with crappy hair bands, and the Philadelphia 76ers had just won a NBA title, the last title to be brought to the city. In the mean time Philly has had both the Iggles and The Sixers make it to a title game only to fall short to dynasties, The Pats and Lakers respectively. For such a drought many would agree that it is indeed time for Philly to get a title. I might even agree with this idea except for one thing, Philly fans.
For being named the city of brotherly love, Philly has some of the harshest fans in all of America. The old Vet(Veterans Stadium) had a jail underneath it so there was a space large enough to hold all the rowdy drunken phanatics. It even had it's own court and judge to process said drunks. I think this was and still is a unique feature among sports stadiums.
In 1999, when Michael Irvin went head first into the green carpet covered cement that passed for turf at the Vet he severely injured his neck and had to be carted off the field on a stretcher. Iggles fans, being the classy bunch they are, booed the hell out of Irvin as he left with what turned out to be a career ending injury.
Also in '99 Phillies fans rained down D batteries on J.D Drew, who, after being drafted by Philly, had held out for a trade to another team. This is a relatively tame example of Philly fans assholeishness.
1999 was a year that Philadelphia raised the bar for sports asshole all over the country. Matthew Scott, the first recipient of a total hand transplant threw out the first pitch for the Phillies but not to the satisfaction of the fans. When the ball he threw from his transplanted hand bounced up to the plate the fans let him have it with a chorus of boos.
When the Iggles drafted franchise quarterback Donovan McNabb, also in 1999, the pick was not met with cheers or even anything close. Wanting their team to take running back Ricky Williams
the fans booed the hell out of McNabb as he went up to the stage.
How'd that work out for ya Philly? McNabb do anything for you guys?
Earlier this year when whoring herself out for Pennsylvania's votes, republican VP nominee Sarah Palin decided to flaunt her "hockey mom" cred and attend a Flyers game. When warned before hand that Philly fans will boo any and everything she said something like "That's ok. I'll have my daughter, Piper, in a flyers jersey too they wouldn't dare boo her." Oh-ho-ho how little did she know. I guess in Alaska word hadn't gotten up there about Philly fans. Here's what happened.
Actually this is the one booing I'll give Philadelphia fans, good job guys. If only she got booed at every event she went to like she was booed at the Flyers game.
Even Santa Claus can't catch a break when he stops by Philly. In 1968, Frank Olivo, was dressed in a red Santa outfit in an attempt to spread christmas cheer at the last Iggles game of the year. Iggles fans have tried to distort the myth by sayin Olivo was drunk and his suit in tatters. This was not the case. Olivo was greeted not only with the standard Philly chorus of boos but also a hail of snow balls. So snowblind(not from coke, mind you) was he that officials had to come to his rescue and escort him off the field.
With all that said can you imagine what might happen if/when the Phillies win the Series? The streets will be like Neverland Ranch was for little kids, not safe under any circumstances. And for that matter, do Philly fans, with all that booing and jeering even dieserve a title? I think the answer is clearly a resounding NO!
I hope somehow, magically the Rays come back forwm being down 3-1 and steal the World Series from Philadelphia. Then my recently delfated schaudenfreude hard-on will be back to full mast and I will be a very happy man.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Hey Hey, a win! We aint had one of them since McCain still had a chance!
It was like Ice Cube was looking out for Seattle 'cause today was a good day, for the Seahawks at least. It has been almost a month since the 'Hawks had one of those. In the time in between there has been much more down than up. There were the 3 straight losses, the loss of Hasslebeck for an extended period, mounting injuries, and Charlie Frye even started a game, which was lost, of course. But today all that was forgotten about as the 'Hawks trounced the 49ers 34-13.
The last time these two teams met 'Frisco had gotten off to a hot start under with JT O'Sullivan throwing the ball down field with abandon in Mike Martz's pass happy offense. That day they had a little luck in beating Seattle with two tipped picks, one of which was returned for a td. Since that time they have been pretty abysmal going just 1-4.
JT O'Sullivan has been like a punch drunk bare-knuckled boxer at QB. Coming into today's game he was responsible for 16 of San Fran's 19 turnovers with 10 ints and 6 fumbles. It's tough to win with that many turnovers.
The Niners had been playing so poorly that head coach Mike Nolan and his suit were fired coming into the game against Seattle. Many had stated they felt the suit was the only thing holding the team together. Mike Nolan had every right to be fired, many agreed, but did the suit really need to get axed along with him? That's like throwing out the bowl with the bongwater!
Luckily, Hall of Famer and former Monster of Midway, Mike Singletary was promoted to head coach. God knows Mike Martz doesn't need to kill another team with his terrible head coaching abilities,"Sure I have a hell of a running back and my QB has been getting drilled worse than Kim Kardashian but, fuck it, let's put the ball in the air 40-50 times!". Even Mike's fiery temper couldn't help the 49ers win this sunny Sunday.
JT O'Sullivan was looking potato famine weak as he fumbled twice, losing one, and throwing a TAINT(touchdown after an interception) to John Wilson. Coming back to the sideline after the pic O'Sullivan was blindsided by Singletary so hard his whiskey thinned blood was pouring out of his nose and he had to come out of the the game. Sean Hill went the rest of the way.
The game was decided on two plays, both were passes to Leonard Weaver. The weav turned two short passes into touchdowns of 43 and 62 yards by simply catching the ball and running past everyone one his way to the end zone, leaving only the tracers from the swaths of neon green on his shoes down the field .
This type of speed and agility from a FULLBACK makes me wonder about Holmgren, who seems content using The Weav purely as a blocking back. But with hands and feet like that I have often opined that Weaver's skills need be put to more use than just the occasional 3rd down draw. This goes double in a season when the Seahawks top seven wideouts have missed time with injury. If The Weav can do that with a simple dump off pass, imagine what he could to if he had plays drawn up for him occasionally.
Along with Seneca's athletic ability languishing on the bench in the role of back-up QB, this is one the more egregious misuses of athleticism I have been witness to. It would be like if you forced T-Mac to play power forward just because he's 6'10". As much as I like and respect Holmgren for his successes, his lack of imagination in using his players leaves me shaking my head quite often.
One of the other highlights from the game was Singletary's handling of the captain of the all-talent-no-heart team, Tight End Vernon Davis. Davis slapped the helmet of 'Hawks Safety Brian Russel and received a penalty, apparently upset that the lead footed, poor tackling Russel was anywhere near him to take him down. Singletary chewed out Davis to the point where David went sulking to the bench at which point Singletary told him to hit the showers. Davis did shaking his helmet at the non-existant fans at Candlestick Park.
This is exactly the kind of ass kick Davis needs as he is often seen dogging it on routes and alligator arming passes at the slighest hing of a hit like a latter day Freddie Mitchell. Davis is a absurd physical specimen who has the tools to dominate if he could ever have his head forcibly removed from up his ass which proabably pisses off Singletary all the more. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out after the 49ers bye next week.
It will also be interesting to see if The 'Hawks can put together a little bit of a winning streak starting with a tough Philly squad next week at home. With two games with Arizona left and old man Warner's fragile physique starting to fall apart there is still hope for winning the division. Right now though, I am just basking in the glow of this blow-out win.
The last time these two teams met 'Frisco had gotten off to a hot start under with JT O'Sullivan throwing the ball down field with abandon in Mike Martz's pass happy offense. That day they had a little luck in beating Seattle with two tipped picks, one of which was returned for a td. Since that time they have been pretty abysmal going just 1-4.
JT O'Sullivan has been like a punch drunk bare-knuckled boxer at QB. Coming into today's game he was responsible for 16 of San Fran's 19 turnovers with 10 ints and 6 fumbles. It's tough to win with that many turnovers.
The Niners had been playing so poorly that head coach Mike Nolan and his suit were fired coming into the game against Seattle. Many had stated they felt the suit was the only thing holding the team together. Mike Nolan had every right to be fired, many agreed, but did the suit really need to get axed along with him? That's like throwing out the bowl with the bongwater!
Luckily, Hall of Famer and former Monster of Midway, Mike Singletary was promoted to head coach. God knows Mike Martz doesn't need to kill another team with his terrible head coaching abilities,"Sure I have a hell of a running back and my QB has been getting drilled worse than Kim Kardashian but, fuck it, let's put the ball in the air 40-50 times!". Even Mike's fiery temper couldn't help the 49ers win this sunny Sunday.
JT O'Sullivan was looking potato famine weak as he fumbled twice, losing one, and throwing a TAINT(touchdown after an interception) to John Wilson. Coming back to the sideline after the pic O'Sullivan was blindsided by Singletary so hard his whiskey thinned blood was pouring out of his nose and he had to come out of the the game. Sean Hill went the rest of the way.
The game was decided on two plays, both were passes to Leonard Weaver. The weav turned two short passes into touchdowns of 43 and 62 yards by simply catching the ball and running past everyone one his way to the end zone, leaving only the tracers from the swaths of neon green on his shoes down the field .
This type of speed and agility from a FULLBACK makes me wonder about Holmgren, who seems content using The Weav purely as a blocking back. But with hands and feet like that I have often opined that Weaver's skills need be put to more use than just the occasional 3rd down draw. This goes double in a season when the Seahawks top seven wideouts have missed time with injury. If The Weav can do that with a simple dump off pass, imagine what he could to if he had plays drawn up for him occasionally.
Along with Seneca's athletic ability languishing on the bench in the role of back-up QB, this is one the more egregious misuses of athleticism I have been witness to. It would be like if you forced T-Mac to play power forward just because he's 6'10". As much as I like and respect Holmgren for his successes, his lack of imagination in using his players leaves me shaking my head quite often.
One of the other highlights from the game was Singletary's handling of the captain of the all-talent-no-heart team, Tight End Vernon Davis. Davis slapped the helmet of 'Hawks Safety Brian Russel and received a penalty, apparently upset that the lead footed, poor tackling Russel was anywhere near him to take him down. Singletary chewed out Davis to the point where David went sulking to the bench at which point Singletary told him to hit the showers. Davis did shaking his helmet at the non-existant fans at Candlestick Park.
This is exactly the kind of ass kick Davis needs as he is often seen dogging it on routes and alligator arming passes at the slighest hing of a hit like a latter day Freddie Mitchell. Davis is a absurd physical specimen who has the tools to dominate if he could ever have his head forcibly removed from up his ass which proabably pisses off Singletary all the more. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out after the 49ers bye next week.
It will also be interesting to see if The 'Hawks can put together a little bit of a winning streak starting with a tough Philly squad next week at home. With two games with Arizona left and old man Warner's fragile physique starting to fall apart there is still hope for winning the division. Right now though, I am just basking in the glow of this blow-out win.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
New England's Sports Dominance Getting Old
I have to admit something to you, Dear readers. I am a Red Sox enabler. I'm sorry. I never imagined my enabling would lead to such moral lows.
4 years ago I was living abroad in Mexico. I remember stopping by a small bar and watching Curt"I'm the Biggest Asshole in the World" Schilling and The Red Sox break the sway the Yankees had held over them so long. In an innocent thought to myself I mused "Good for the Sox. I hate the fucking Yankees! I'd like to see the Sox win the series. After all they've been through they deserve it." Not long after that thought had passed I wanted it back so very bad.
Much like someone who jumps off a bridge in attempts to commit suicide but lives, I realized "No, this isn't what I want at all!". I wanted the Yankees to lose, sure. Those cocky New York fucks deserved to lose. But if Boston Made it to the Series I had no doubt that they would absolutely destroy whichever second class NL team they faced. Then everything would change.
No longer would the Sox be the lovable losers filled with fan faves like No-mah, Pay-dro, Big Papi and Man-Ram, none of who could win the big one. They would be the world champs. And that would suck. It was so much fun watching those Boston fans wallow in self-pity and believe in garbage like the curse of The Bambino. With a win, they would no longer be self-loathers and, if The Pats mini-dynasty is any reference, happy New Englanders are very annoying New Englanders.
Last year I watched as my surrogate team, the well run and smartly put together, Cleveland Indians go up 3-1 on the Sox in the ALCS. The Indians(and the most racist logo ever. Can you imagine similarly racist team names?) stood poised to clinch the 4th and deciding game at home in Cleveland , when I had another innocent thought. "I want this series to be at least a little interesting, maybe the Sox can have this one. Besides, how sweet would it be for the Fenway faithful witness the dismemberment of their beloved Sox there in Boston?"Again, almost immediately I realized my error.
My simple wish turned very sour and the Red Sox went on to take the next two in Boston, winning the games by a combined score of 24-4. I knew that this incredible turnaround would only add to the Sox lore and I hated it. I couldn't stand the thought of ever more bandwagon fans coming out of the woodwork in support of this grotesque monstrosity of a team. The Red Sox had become the new Yankees.
Working at the stadium when the Red Sox are in town is a confusing time. One never realizes just how close Boston is to Seattle until witnessing the flood of all sorts of Sox gear come flooding into the stadium, most of it freshly purchased. When cheers eurpt it is difficult to discern if it is for the M's or the Sox(except this year when with the M's ineptitude you knew it was for the Sox). This baseball blasphemy should never transpire in one's home stadium espescially not when the team you are playing's true fan base is over 3,000 miles away.
Now the Tampa Bay Rays have the Red Sox on the ropes 3-1 going into game 5 in Boston on Thursday. I want very badly for the upstart Rays to continue to kick the holy hell out of the Sox as they have done the past two games.
I've learned my lesson. I'm not rooting for a close series. I'm not even rooting for the sweet irony of Man-Ram coming back to play at Fenway in Dodgers blue in the series. No, All I want is a swift and painless victory on Thursday. Then I want the Rays to kick the shit out of Pat Gillick's Phillies in the series. I want all those tools who constantly claim that a team needs post-season experience to win it all to have to eat some serious crow. All those who doubted the Rays because they were "too young" and didn't see that they were also supremely talented, will weep as old baseball cliches are torn asunder. And I want to be there to watch.
4 years ago I was living abroad in Mexico. I remember stopping by a small bar and watching Curt"I'm the Biggest Asshole in the World" Schilling and The Red Sox break the sway the Yankees had held over them so long. In an innocent thought to myself I mused "Good for the Sox. I hate the fucking Yankees! I'd like to see the Sox win the series. After all they've been through they deserve it." Not long after that thought had passed I wanted it back so very bad.
Much like someone who jumps off a bridge in attempts to commit suicide but lives, I realized "No, this isn't what I want at all!". I wanted the Yankees to lose, sure. Those cocky New York fucks deserved to lose. But if Boston Made it to the Series I had no doubt that they would absolutely destroy whichever second class NL team they faced. Then everything would change.
No longer would the Sox be the lovable losers filled with fan faves like No-mah, Pay-dro, Big Papi and Man-Ram, none of who could win the big one. They would be the world champs. And that would suck. It was so much fun watching those Boston fans wallow in self-pity and believe in garbage like the curse of The Bambino. With a win, they would no longer be self-loathers and, if The Pats mini-dynasty is any reference, happy New Englanders are very annoying New Englanders.
Last year I watched as my surrogate team, the well run and smartly put together, Cleveland Indians go up 3-1 on the Sox in the ALCS. The Indians(and the most racist logo ever. Can you imagine similarly racist team names?) stood poised to clinch the 4th and deciding game at home in Cleveland , when I had another innocent thought. "I want this series to be at least a little interesting, maybe the Sox can have this one. Besides, how sweet would it be for the Fenway faithful witness the dismemberment of their beloved Sox there in Boston?"Again, almost immediately I realized my error.
My simple wish turned very sour and the Red Sox went on to take the next two in Boston, winning the games by a combined score of 24-4. I knew that this incredible turnaround would only add to the Sox lore and I hated it. I couldn't stand the thought of ever more bandwagon fans coming out of the woodwork in support of this grotesque monstrosity of a team. The Red Sox had become the new Yankees.
Working at the stadium when the Red Sox are in town is a confusing time. One never realizes just how close Boston is to Seattle until witnessing the flood of all sorts of Sox gear come flooding into the stadium, most of it freshly purchased. When cheers eurpt it is difficult to discern if it is for the M's or the Sox(except this year when with the M's ineptitude you knew it was for the Sox). This baseball blasphemy should never transpire in one's home stadium espescially not when the team you are playing's true fan base is over 3,000 miles away.
Now the Tampa Bay Rays have the Red Sox on the ropes 3-1 going into game 5 in Boston on Thursday. I want very badly for the upstart Rays to continue to kick the holy hell out of the Sox as they have done the past two games.
I've learned my lesson. I'm not rooting for a close series. I'm not even rooting for the sweet irony of Man-Ram coming back to play at Fenway in Dodgers blue in the series. No, All I want is a swift and painless victory on Thursday. Then I want the Rays to kick the shit out of Pat Gillick's Phillies in the series. I want all those tools who constantly claim that a team needs post-season experience to win it all to have to eat some serious crow. All those who doubted the Rays because they were "too young" and didn't see that they were also supremely talented, will weep as old baseball cliches are torn asunder. And I want to be there to watch.
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