The recent passing of Michael Jackson opened an intense debate among the populace. Namely, how much do Michael's alleged chi-mo ways effect the way we, the public, view his legacy. Do the multiple allegations of banging boys change the fact that he may have been the greatest entertainer of our time?
There were many people with whom I talked in the days following his death who said something along the lines of "Fuck him! I hope he burns in Hell for being a pederast!" They didn't think about him as the King of Pop or his huge influence on pop culture. To them he would be remembered as someone who he diddled kiddies. Nothing else he did during the rest of his life mattered in the least.
Other people I talked to felt like the allegations should have nothing to do with how they view Michael The Entertainer. They felt that all his accomplishments and the body of work over the course of his career stood on its own. That his later legal troubles should be a footnote in the legacy of Michael.
Me, personally, am somewhere in the middle. I don't think it can be overstated his influence on pop culture. Modern R&B artists like Usher, Ne-yo, Chris Brown, et al. owe their entire careers to the work Michael put in all those years ago. Groups from New Edition, a J-5 clone, to N'Sync were built in a mold that the Jackson 5 created years ago. Pop music had never seen such a prolific single artist prior to MJ and more than likely won't see one after.
My childhood memories are filled with memorable Michael Moments. I remember how excited I was when Michael guess starred on my favorite TV, The Simpsons. I remember the video premiere of his epic video "Black or White" on Fox. I still get chills when I see clips from the Super Bowl XXVII halftime show. The way he popped out from under the stage and paused a moment to revel in his awesomeness set a bar for half time shows that I doubt will ever be topped(unless you count the Janet/Justin wardrobe malfuction. But that was awesome in a completely different way).
While I will always hold a special place in my heart for MJ, but there was a certain amount of luster removed from his status by the allegations that he fondled a few children. I don't buy the idea that these charges came from people just looking to cash in. Even in such a litigious nation such as this charges of child molestation aren't filed lightly.
Even with the knowledge that he may very well have gone all Catholic Priest on a few kids in his time, I view Michael's career as a net positive. This is interesting for me because I often hold players' off-field/off-court actions against them. Kobe Bryant might be one of the better players ever but he's an asshole and a alleged rapist. Jim Brown may be an all-time great running back and social justice crusader but he also beat the shit out of his wife and girlfriend. Muhammad Ali, might have been the best boxer to lace up a pair of gloves but from what I read in Ghost of Manilla by Mark Shram he was quite the slandering asshole. I have a hard time separating my hate of Karl Malone and his dirty play from my hate of his being repeated dead beat dad.
Despite my feelings that players actions off the field and their deeds on it should both be considered when discussing how great they are, not everyone agrees. I have a friend who cares not about a player's off field transgressions. He feels that whatever accomplishments a player has should be the only means of judging them. That Michael Jordan's habitual gambling was so crippling that he would cheat a grandma to win has no bearing on Jordan the ball player. The Fade Away speaks for itself.
So what say you, faithful reader, intrepid fellow bloggers? Should be judge a player only on the merits of his game? That is what we tune in or pay to see after all. Or do you feel a player should be responsible for his downtime actions? Do you feel being accused of something like rape should forever be a black mark on the resume of a player? Let me know in the comments section. Or my fellow bloggers on this site, write a response post.
Showing posts with label NBA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NBA. Show all posts
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
One less Ivory Backscratcher for Lebron
Lebron James learned that the media's right to ask inane post-game questions will not be obstructed for any reason. Especially not because he was in a bad mood after a crushing loss to the Magic that knocked the Cavs out of the playoffs. To do so is tantamount to not giving David Stern a reach around when visiting his office. The consequences of such a slap in the face will be harsh indeed.
$25,000 was the sum of the punishment meted out by Herr Stern to show that blowing off the media will not be tolerated. Let this act as a deterrent to all the rest of you primadonnas who think they are too big for the media.
While $25,000 might mean one less ivory backscratcher for Lebron, nonetheless it is a ridiculously large amount for merely failing to acknowledge the media. It's not as if some deep insight about Lebron was going to be gained by having him answer a bunch of stock questions. The questions would probably be along the lines of "How do you feel about coming up short in the conference championships again?" and what is he going to really say to that? "Well, if I had any sort of talent outside of myself on this team maybe I could do something. But when the second best scoring option on the team is Big Z I'm kinda limited, y'know? Give me the talent they got on the Lakers and I win 80 games easy!" Fuck no! And even if he did that's not the kind of honest answer the media wants. They want easily digestible bullshit like "It's disapointing to work so hard and come up just short. I'll continue to work hard this summer and be prepared to make another run next fall."
I understand Lebron's decision not to talk with the media. What I don't understand is David Stern felt the need to make this into a public recrimination. The fine almost seems to be saying "You were a bad boy, now give back part of your allowance."
I hate David Stern for many reasons. His part in stealing the Sonics from Seattle, his enforcing of a new dress code to "clean up" the NBA's image, to the cracking down on hard fouls and giving out bs fines for said fouls. Add this to the list of reasons to hate Stern, putting media access before the feeling of his players. Fuck you, Stern.
$25,000 was the sum of the punishment meted out by Herr Stern to show that blowing off the media will not be tolerated. Let this act as a deterrent to all the rest of you primadonnas who think they are too big for the media.
While $25,000 might mean one less ivory backscratcher for Lebron, nonetheless it is a ridiculously large amount for merely failing to acknowledge the media. It's not as if some deep insight about Lebron was going to be gained by having him answer a bunch of stock questions. The questions would probably be along the lines of "How do you feel about coming up short in the conference championships again?" and what is he going to really say to that? "Well, if I had any sort of talent outside of myself on this team maybe I could do something. But when the second best scoring option on the team is Big Z I'm kinda limited, y'know? Give me the talent they got on the Lakers and I win 80 games easy!" Fuck no! And even if he did that's not the kind of honest answer the media wants. They want easily digestible bullshit like "It's disapointing to work so hard and come up just short. I'll continue to work hard this summer and be prepared to make another run next fall."
I understand Lebron's decision not to talk with the media. What I don't understand is David Stern felt the need to make this into a public recrimination. The fine almost seems to be saying "You were a bad boy, now give back part of your allowance."
I hate David Stern for many reasons. His part in stealing the Sonics from Seattle, his enforcing of a new dress code to "clean up" the NBA's image, to the cracking down on hard fouls and giving out bs fines for said fouls. Add this to the list of reasons to hate Stern, putting media access before the feeling of his players. Fuck you, Stern.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Real Men, DO Cry
Our city just folded before a decision. Before the trial, we were assured this was all about enforcing a lease - that dollars could not be put on our love for the oldest professional team in City. Maybe they knew something we didn't, I wouldn't bet on it.
Nichols said the NBA told him that a renovated Key would be a viable stadium in the league. That comes as a surprise. I thought only 100% publicly financed 500 million dollar stadiums were necessary for a team to make a living in today's NBA.
Nichol's can't save face in this, he can't act like he gives a rats ass. I'm not buying it, he himself admitted to only going to two games in the last decade! He's the goddamn mayor of the City, and he probably only made it out to 1 game in 2004. It's really surprising that for a mayor notorious for pandering to developers like no other, he didn't rally harder for this team and a new world class facility. But then again, he never gave a shit to begin with.
I'm really stoked that Starbucks is closing 600 stores, a very good start indeed. Every time I see a Dunkin Donuts commercial, I say to myself "build it, I will go." Tully's is my option now, that and little underground coffee stands. Schultz, you chicken fat spineless fakest wannabe owner there ever was, you suck! You're one of the bad guys here! I remember feeling good after you first purchased the team, you'd pacing the courtside in your ivy league sweater vests, high fiving fans - I bought it all. Then when it was bad times a few years in a row, you sold the team! The only person that knew this team was leaving more than us, was you... YOU! Kahhhhhhhhhn!!!!!!!
Only now, can we make a decision - because the band-aid has been ripped off. You have a couple of options.
- Sit at home and cry jinks hoping that Stern plants another team here once we come up with our arena solution.
- Ignore the fucking NBA altogather.
- Or the worst of the worst, become a Blazers fan. They deserve more than that, this was a true rivalry we had going, you can't root for them, its not right!
I'm for choice two out of pure spite. Lets put the choke hold on the league and deny them the luxury of putting their product in our city again. The good times I've had, those were good times. Let's not make the same mistake twice.
As my grandfather once put it, "I've been married three times, and divorced three times. Either I'm a bad husband or a piss poor judge of character. I dont need a fourth wife to find out which."
Thursday, June 19, 2008
It was only yesterday...
Watching Ray Allen set the 3 point record in game 6 the other night brought me back a few years. It seems like only yesterday shortly after turning 21, that I got the chance to watch the Supes pwn the Spurs - live at a bar, it was great.
I got completely belligerent with my fellow Seattleites, yelling, clapping, drinking, and chest bumping as the Sonics went on to win their first game in the 2nd round of the playoffs. My Dad and brother were at the game, so we all met up afterward as the arena was emptying out. Everyone was totally stoked and rowdy. Fans from all molds - skinny, fat, black, white, bald, dreaded, stoned, sober -- you name it (we're a diverse bunch); we were all together as one, basking in the short term glory of a 2nd round playoff win. None of this would be possible without #34 Ray Allen.
I spent the long walk to the car cheerfully chanting with my bro, "FUCK THE SPURS, FUCK THE SPURS, FUCK THE SPURS." Clearly we were drunk off of our asses, but nonetheless, the feeling of winning in the playoffs and pure inebriation overcame me like a 200 hundred dollar bar tab and a last-call whore.
I attended the rally on Monday, chanting Save our Sonics, Gary, Super [pause] Sonics!, and whatever else the crowd felt like yelling. It reminded me of the comradery I shared with these otherwise total strangers shortly after becoming 21. The day after rallying in front of the court house, I got to see Ray Allen win a ring with a team that has also had a similar terrible stretch minus an unexpected playoff run 2 years ago (17 Championships is another realm of glory). I have also had the pleasure to see Gary play for the Heat and win their Championship in 2006. Through them, I have felt like a winner and a Champ as well. It fills me with great pride that my heroes who've escaped the shitty decade of Wally Walker have gone onto winning it all with another team (And Gary getting it without Malone and the Lakers is even sweeter!!!!!).
Isn't it ironic, that a man who was a minority owner for the team that took our hopes of a championship in the 2nd round only a few years back, manifests into the creeper that conspires to take our very team away?
I have more respect for a man who let's me know where he stands, even if he's wrong. Than the one who comes up like an angel and is nothing but a devil. - Malcolm X
I got completely belligerent with my fellow Seattleites, yelling, clapping, drinking, and chest bumping as the Sonics went on to win their first game in the 2nd round of the playoffs. My Dad and brother were at the game, so we all met up afterward as the arena was emptying out. Everyone was totally stoked and rowdy. Fans from all molds - skinny, fat, black, white, bald, dreaded, stoned, sober -- you name it (we're a diverse bunch); we were all together as one, basking in the short term glory of a 2nd round playoff win. None of this would be possible without #34 Ray Allen.
I spent the long walk to the car cheerfully chanting with my bro, "FUCK THE SPURS, FUCK THE SPURS, FUCK THE SPURS." Clearly we were drunk off of our asses, but nonetheless, the feeling of winning in the playoffs and pure inebriation overcame me like a 200 hundred dollar bar tab and a last-call whore.
I attended the rally on Monday, chanting Save our Sonics, Gary, Super [pause] Sonics!, and whatever else the crowd felt like yelling. It reminded me of the comradery I shared with these otherwise total strangers shortly after becoming 21. The day after rallying in front of the court house, I got to see Ray Allen win a ring with a team that has also had a similar terrible stretch minus an unexpected playoff run 2 years ago (17 Championships is another realm of glory). I have also had the pleasure to see Gary play for the Heat and win their Championship in 2006. Through them, I have felt like a winner and a Champ as well. It fills me with great pride that my heroes who've escaped the shitty decade of Wally Walker have gone onto winning it all with another team (And Gary getting it without Malone and the Lakers is even sweeter!!!!!).
Isn't it ironic, that a man who was a minority owner for the team that took our hopes of a championship in the 2nd round only a few years back, manifests into the creeper that conspires to take our very team away?
I have more respect for a man who let's me know where he stands, even if he's wrong. Than the one who comes up like an angel and is nothing but a devil. - Malcolm X
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Snitch three and you go free... not so all of a sudden!
I'm a big believer that big time sports can be rigged. The Black Sox did it, why cant officials? Hell, Tim Donaghy ADMITTED to doing it; and now, with sentencing looming, he's alleged that the Celtics vs Lakers series is rigged. Thats where it ends, it really starts out playful and innocent- a la referees using team facilites (not the bathrooms doofus), playing tennis with owners, and receiving rim jobs from star athletes on the roster (sans jelly).
I was disregarding nearly everything said like a Steelers fan when the subject of "officiating" and "superbowl xl" comes up, but the responses from NBA executive vice president and general counsel Richard Buchanan and Lamell McMorris, head of the NBA referees union made me reconsider my viewpoint. Maybe it wasn't in relation to what Donaghy specifically said, because he's a jerkoff anyway, but it made me think of the people above him, the even bigger jerkoffs whose sputum can be directly linked to David Stern's gold member.
From ABC7
"According to Mr. Donaghy, all of his allegations have previously been made to the FBI and the U.S. Attorney, and they are clearly being disclosed now as part of his desperate attempt to lighten the sentence that will be imposed for his criminal conduct," the statement read. "The NBA remains vigilant in protecting the integrity of our game and has fully cooperated with the government at every stage of its investigation. The only criminal activity uncovered is Mr. Donaghy's." ~ BuchananLets run through this one sentence at a time.
According to Mr. Donaghy, all of his allegations have previously been made to the FBI and the U.S. Attorney, and they are clearly being disclosed now as part of his desperate attempt to lighten the sentence that will be imposed for his criminal conduct
I can understand that the NBA doesn't want its diapers rubbed in national news programs. That statement is fine by me, though funny that he needs to TELL US that Donaghy is only trying to lighten his sentence, if this was really non-news, I'm sure a statement would not be necessary. But because these allegations ARE news, the following is brought to you by Vice Czar of the NBA:
The NBA remains vigilant in protecting the integrity of our game and has fully cooperated with the government at every stage of its investigation.
Of course, because the NBA does have integrity issues. And I'm not just talking about the plight of our beloved Sonics, the best team to ever touch a basketball until fucktard Schultz sold the team to fucktard Bennett. I'm talking about Lakers v Kings game 7, the new basketball, Tim Donaghy himself etc... Remember after the Tim Donaghy scandal came out? We only heard two things; He's guilty (he confessed to it, duh) and that Tim is an isolated event, nobody else who calls fouls in a game is guilty or associated with violating the integrity of a The Game, PERIOD. And if there were a shred of doubt, I'm sure we'd all hear about it, because after all, the NBA is vigilant about their integrity crisis.
The only criminal activity uncovered is Mr. Donaghy's.
Thats just a slap in the face. This is like last throes Hillary rhetoric. Its a garbage statement, and if were in email form, I'm sure Mr. Buchanan would say that what he meant to say was "The only criminal activity uncovered is Mr. Donaghy's if it were deemed no other officials have mob connections" but we havent heard anything about that, and I'm sure we wont, unless somebody outside the NBA says so first!
"Tim Donaghy has had honesty and credibility issues from the get-go," the statement read. "He is a convicted felon who has not yet been sentenced for the criminal conduct he has already admitted to. He may be willing to say anything to help his cause and he may believe these most recent allegations will help his agenda. I'm not aware of any improper conduct by any current NBA referee in the playoffs six years ago or any conspiracy by the NBA to affect the outcome of any game then or now. Frankly we're tired of Tim Donaghy's cat and mouse games." ~McMorrisWhat a load of jesus jizz! And we're expected to lap it up like hungry hungry whores! Fizzuuuuck Thaaaaaat! Look McMasterbate, once the Brooklyn Bridge is doubled in length, eight lanes wide, retrofitted to service light rail, connects Bellevue to Seattle, and all on Clay Bennetts dollar semicolon I'm going to take that statement with a grain of salt. You're fucking nuts to believe we are going to just accept what you're saying here.
Tim has about as much honesty issues as a drug dealer whom when approached gives the cops 3 names, and ... those people don't get arrested? I know a few people who wished everybody went with your logic on this one. While I'm sure Saddam would say before the Military Tribunal "Well North Korea actually has a nuke, Genocide is actually occurring right now in Darfur, and Iran is a bunch of imbeciles" only a fool wouldn't believe him and it wouldn't help his sentence one bit.
While I'm sure Tim would say anything to make his situation better, your tone comes off more as an accomplice, than a witness. And for that, one more fan has to wonder, wtf is going on in the NBA? Because even with your efforts made in good faith to all fans of the NBA, Seattleites know what they're worth.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Don't Sleep on the Gingers
The hullabaloo over the NBA Finals has reached fever pitch. Baseball has finally turned the corner into the realm of competitiveness. In the short, shallow distance, the poignant, musty aroma of football tantalizes the cognisant nostril.
And all the while, the red headed step child of the four major sports is attempting to crown a champion. Two American teams battling it out, for a chance to defile Lord Stanley's cup in the off season. However, no one seems to care.
And its a damned shame.
Despite being all, but locked in an attic and fed fish heads for sustenance by the networks, playoff hockey is back. The return could not have been scripted better if penned by Charlie Kaufman himself.
The dashing young prince, Sidney Crosby, LeBron James of the ice, matching mettle with the Yankee-esque Red Wings.
Two major sports towns in Detroit and Pittsburgh, battling for the rights to upturn cars and set fires in celebration.
But no one cares. They may as well be playing for the Champions League title.
Yesterday I watched as the Penguins tied the game with twenty seconds to play in regulation. Utilizing the pulled goalie tactic that never seems to work, they passed the puck effectively as the seconds waned, looking to set up a perfect shot.
This was followed by two and a half overtimes of intense breakneck action. Sudden death. Detroit on home ice. Both goal keepers logging over one hundred minutes of ice time.
Shots were fired. Bodies strewn. Blood spilled.
With every break in the action the Detroit crowd rose to their feet, like a modern day Roman aristocracy, applauding the efforts of both side. Wishing for an eventual outcome, but relishing in the exacerbating tension.
All this and not a single point was scored until the third overtime.
And for the die hard loyal hockey fan, this matters naught. Much like so many soccer crazed nation, effort is valued over result. inspiration is drawn, not from seeing a player dominate, but from seeing his composure as a game drags on and frustration mounts.
But to the casual American sports fan, this concept is fleeting.
Why applaud Torry Holt for his ability to run crisp, pristine routes, as a decoy, when Chad Johnson is one deep ball away from a zany end zone celebration?
Should Tom Glavine receive a curtain call for his perfectly executed draw bunts over Jim Thome crushing a home run out of the DH spot every other week?
Is Rip Hamilton held to a higher esteem for his movement away from the ball, as opposed to Dwight Howard's constant lurking underneath the basket?
Of course not. Should they be? Not at all.
But perhaps if the casual American fan watched the game with this perspective, this would be the case. Then maybe perhaps, hockey would be accepted back into the main stream. Highly unlikely, but possible none the less.
And then maybe then Soccer will even have a chance in the States.
Nah...
And all the while, the red headed step child of the four major sports is attempting to crown a champion. Two American teams battling it out, for a chance to defile Lord Stanley's cup in the off season. However, no one seems to care.
And its a damned shame.
Despite being all, but locked in an attic and fed fish heads for sustenance by the networks, playoff hockey is back. The return could not have been scripted better if penned by Charlie Kaufman himself.
The dashing young prince, Sidney Crosby, LeBron James of the ice, matching mettle with the Yankee-esque Red Wings.
Two major sports towns in Detroit and Pittsburgh, battling for the rights to upturn cars and set fires in celebration.
But no one cares. They may as well be playing for the Champions League title.
Yesterday I watched as the Penguins tied the game with twenty seconds to play in regulation. Utilizing the pulled goalie tactic that never seems to work, they passed the puck effectively as the seconds waned, looking to set up a perfect shot.
This was followed by two and a half overtimes of intense breakneck action. Sudden death. Detroit on home ice. Both goal keepers logging over one hundred minutes of ice time.
Shots were fired. Bodies strewn. Blood spilled.
With every break in the action the Detroit crowd rose to their feet, like a modern day Roman aristocracy, applauding the efforts of both side. Wishing for an eventual outcome, but relishing in the exacerbating tension.
All this and not a single point was scored until the third overtime.
And for the die hard loyal hockey fan, this matters naught. Much like so many soccer crazed nation, effort is valued over result. inspiration is drawn, not from seeing a player dominate, but from seeing his composure as a game drags on and frustration mounts.
But to the casual American sports fan, this concept is fleeting.
Why applaud Torry Holt for his ability to run crisp, pristine routes, as a decoy, when Chad Johnson is one deep ball away from a zany end zone celebration?
Should Tom Glavine receive a curtain call for his perfectly executed draw bunts over Jim Thome crushing a home run out of the DH spot every other week?
Is Rip Hamilton held to a higher esteem for his movement away from the ball, as opposed to Dwight Howard's constant lurking underneath the basket?
Of course not. Should they be? Not at all.
But perhaps if the casual American fan watched the game with this perspective, this would be the case. Then maybe perhaps, hockey would be accepted back into the main stream. Highly unlikely, but possible none the less.
And then maybe then Soccer will even have a chance in the States.
Nah...
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
GM 101
The life of a sports fan is one rife with criticism. We all believe that we are capable of running a spread offense in college. We watch Sportscenter highlights and complain about isolation defensive formations called out by coaches.
We think we know everything that is sport. In no other sense does this bode true than when it comes to front office transactions. If we can log into the ESPN trade ticker and deal Brandon Roy, Jarrett Jack, and a first round pick for LeBron James, then we find it inexcusable for Portland's GM to not pull the trigger on such a deal.
Find that hard to comprehend? How about Randy Moss to the Patriots for a fourth round draft pick.
Above all others I am guilty of said fallacy. I am the guy who will purchase John Madden football, only to simulate through an entire season just to play out the off season draft. In NBA 2K6, I prided myself on making the Sonics a perennial contender in just two seasons. Hell, I remember in MVP Baseball 2005, I finagled a way to get Ichiro onto the Red Sox for Trot Nixon and two fictional prospects.
Of course I understand that the transactions I make would never happen in real life. I also know that external factors such as player egos, fan base, and stifling owners can alter the decisions made by General Managers in all sports.
Still I will forever be critical of General Managers, as is in my nature as a sports fan. As such, for the sake of argument, here are some philosophies that I would abide by if I were a GM in each of the respective three major sports, (because I refuse to acknowledge the NHL until Gary Betteman is no more).
The Tao of Baseball
1. Unless a can't miss prospect is available, all picks should be dedicated solely to pitching
This sounds ridiculous, but makes sense when one looks at what teams look for when making trades. Nearly every major trade involves at least one pitching prospect.
Pitchers are the ultimate wild card in baseball, as the risk reward ratio is immeasurable. For every Felix Rodriguez, their are at least five Ryan Anderson's. This being said, by loading up on pitching talent, one is afforded the liberty of picking up solidified position players through trades.
Furthermore, established pitchers can be dealt away before they wear down or command ridiculous salaries. This is the philosophy that Oakland have followed for years and yet they always remain relatively competitive, despite a minimum payroll.
2. Base running and defense are paramount in winning championships.
The Red Sox do not win the 2004 World Series without Dave Roberts. The 2001 Florida Marlins beat out the Yankees not through power, but through a roster of some of the better defenders ever assembled.
Small ball is a dying facet in baseball, due to fan's infatuations with the home run. While power is important, a reliance on it rarely amounts to championships. Think of it like the three pointer in basketball: Teams live by it and die by it. If this years Detroit Tigers are not homering every inning, they are not winning games. Thus their poor start before noted speedster and defensive boon Curtis Granderson came back.
The Mariners set the record in the late 90's for most home runs in a season. And yet the team that won 116 games was built around smart base running and defense. With the ability to call the hit and run at any time, former role players such as Brett Boone and Mike Cameron became power houses, due to facing a multitude of rattled pitchers.
Speed aides defense through increased range. Increased range improves a team's pitching, as the risks presented by balls put into play are reduced. If a pitcher feels that they can rely on their field to produce outs, they can focus less on strikeouts and more on pitch location.
Their is a reason that washouts like Freddy Garcia, John Halama, and Joel Pinero were effective for that miracle stretch.
The enlightened view of Football
1. If looking for immediate returns draft defense.
The NFL defense is typically less complex than offense. Quite simply, a players instincts and athletic ability can bail them out of compromising positions much easier on this end. A missed coverage assignment might cost a team a game. A missed blocking assignment could cost a team the franchise quarterback.
Offensive players are the sexy picks, but experience the best success when groomed to gel within a respective scheme. Tom Brady. Priest Holmes. Steve McNair. Shaun Alexander. All former MVP's who were brought along slowly within a system.
Quarterback Matt Ryan was drafted by the Falcons for obvious political reasons in the recent draft. I promise you that if replacing the face of the franchise was not the mission and becoming competitive this year was, then Glenn Dorsey is selected in his place.
2. Every quarterback should sit out there rookie year. No matter what.
This philosophy is hard to abide by, as oftentimes a respective fan base will not tolerate it. However in order to allow a quarterback a chance for true success, then they must know the full array of a teams playbook.
Trent Edwards was an effective starter in his rookie year last year. However his role was also reduced to essentially running a mistake free offense. This was very similar to the system that Rex Grossman ran when he led the Bears to the Superbowl, or the one his backup Kyle Orton used to win ten game in a row the year before.
Mistake free play may give a team a chance to win with defense and a run game, but diminishes confidence in the signal caller. David Carr. Akili Smith. Tim Couch. Three quarterbacks expected to leap into the starters role, only to flame out shortly thereafter as a result of excessive pressure. Pressure brought upon by trying to win a modern war with an axe and shield.
The Basketball path to order
1. Swing men make great trade bait.
Basketball in the modern era is ripe with swing players who truly do not hold any singular position. Starting prominently with Magic Johnson, the philosophy is that the best player should have the ball in hand as often as possible. While their are a handful of players in the league who thrive in this system (LeBron James, Dywane Wade, Tracy McGrady) for the most part all that this does is eliminate the team dynamic on the court.
The best teams in basketball thrive on synergy. However the best players coming out of college are oftentimes the ones who took initiative to stand out from the pack. The easiest manner of doing so? Becoming a swing man.
Being the most athletic players on the court in addition to being the most alpha, swing men make for tantalizing trade bait. Of any other position, they are the most likely to go off for a triple double in a spot start and are always the most marketable. Stockpiling this commodity in the draft assures that a team has young talent that can be dealt for established position players who better fit a coach's schema.
2. Never take a risk on bigs.
Basketball and pro wrestling are the only two forms of sport in which an enigma will be offered a seven figure contract solely on the basis that they stand over seven feet tall. Rarely do these investments pay dividends.
While height obviously aides a basketball player, the ebb and flow of the game is not designed for someone of massive proportions. Anybody over seven foot two is destined to face lingering injury problems, as the body simply cannot keep up with the rigors of constantly running and jumping.
Furthermore, the physical nature of the inside game can age a man overnight. Being pounded at the boards and posted under the basket for eighty two games out of a year is nothing more than the modern day gauntlet.
A big is necessary for success in the league, but rarely worth gambling on. Instead all efforts should be made to ascertain established ones either through free agency and or trades. Imagine the Celtics this year with Spencer Hawes in the middle instead of KG... Could have been a distinct possibility if they had wanted to take thier chances on a big in the draft, rather than going for broke.
We think we know everything that is sport. In no other sense does this bode true than when it comes to front office transactions. If we can log into the ESPN trade ticker and deal Brandon Roy, Jarrett Jack, and a first round pick for LeBron James, then we find it inexcusable for Portland's GM to not pull the trigger on such a deal.
Find that hard to comprehend? How about Randy Moss to the Patriots for a fourth round draft pick.
Above all others I am guilty of said fallacy. I am the guy who will purchase John Madden football, only to simulate through an entire season just to play out the off season draft. In NBA 2K6, I prided myself on making the Sonics a perennial contender in just two seasons. Hell, I remember in MVP Baseball 2005, I finagled a way to get Ichiro onto the Red Sox for Trot Nixon and two fictional prospects.
Of course I understand that the transactions I make would never happen in real life. I also know that external factors such as player egos, fan base, and stifling owners can alter the decisions made by General Managers in all sports.
Still I will forever be critical of General Managers, as is in my nature as a sports fan. As such, for the sake of argument, here are some philosophies that I would abide by if I were a GM in each of the respective three major sports, (because I refuse to acknowledge the NHL until Gary Betteman is no more).
The Tao of Baseball
1. Unless a can't miss prospect is available, all picks should be dedicated solely to pitching
This sounds ridiculous, but makes sense when one looks at what teams look for when making trades. Nearly every major trade involves at least one pitching prospect.
Pitchers are the ultimate wild card in baseball, as the risk reward ratio is immeasurable. For every Felix Rodriguez, their are at least five Ryan Anderson's. This being said, by loading up on pitching talent, one is afforded the liberty of picking up solidified position players through trades.
Furthermore, established pitchers can be dealt away before they wear down or command ridiculous salaries. This is the philosophy that Oakland have followed for years and yet they always remain relatively competitive, despite a minimum payroll.
2. Base running and defense are paramount in winning championships.
The Red Sox do not win the 2004 World Series without Dave Roberts. The 2001 Florida Marlins beat out the Yankees not through power, but through a roster of some of the better defenders ever assembled.
Small ball is a dying facet in baseball, due to fan's infatuations with the home run. While power is important, a reliance on it rarely amounts to championships. Think of it like the three pointer in basketball: Teams live by it and die by it. If this years Detroit Tigers are not homering every inning, they are not winning games. Thus their poor start before noted speedster and defensive boon Curtis Granderson came back.
The Mariners set the record in the late 90's for most home runs in a season. And yet the team that won 116 games was built around smart base running and defense. With the ability to call the hit and run at any time, former role players such as Brett Boone and Mike Cameron became power houses, due to facing a multitude of rattled pitchers.
Speed aides defense through increased range. Increased range improves a team's pitching, as the risks presented by balls put into play are reduced. If a pitcher feels that they can rely on their field to produce outs, they can focus less on strikeouts and more on pitch location.
Their is a reason that washouts like Freddy Garcia, John Halama, and Joel Pinero were effective for that miracle stretch.
The enlightened view of Football
1. If looking for immediate returns draft defense.
The NFL defense is typically less complex than offense. Quite simply, a players instincts and athletic ability can bail them out of compromising positions much easier on this end. A missed coverage assignment might cost a team a game. A missed blocking assignment could cost a team the franchise quarterback.
Offensive players are the sexy picks, but experience the best success when groomed to gel within a respective scheme. Tom Brady. Priest Holmes. Steve McNair. Shaun Alexander. All former MVP's who were brought along slowly within a system.
Quarterback Matt Ryan was drafted by the Falcons for obvious political reasons in the recent draft. I promise you that if replacing the face of the franchise was not the mission and becoming competitive this year was, then Glenn Dorsey is selected in his place.
2. Every quarterback should sit out there rookie year. No matter what.
This philosophy is hard to abide by, as oftentimes a respective fan base will not tolerate it. However in order to allow a quarterback a chance for true success, then they must know the full array of a teams playbook.
Trent Edwards was an effective starter in his rookie year last year. However his role was also reduced to essentially running a mistake free offense. This was very similar to the system that Rex Grossman ran when he led the Bears to the Superbowl, or the one his backup Kyle Orton used to win ten game in a row the year before.
Mistake free play may give a team a chance to win with defense and a run game, but diminishes confidence in the signal caller. David Carr. Akili Smith. Tim Couch. Three quarterbacks expected to leap into the starters role, only to flame out shortly thereafter as a result of excessive pressure. Pressure brought upon by trying to win a modern war with an axe and shield.
The Basketball path to order
1. Swing men make great trade bait.
Basketball in the modern era is ripe with swing players who truly do not hold any singular position. Starting prominently with Magic Johnson, the philosophy is that the best player should have the ball in hand as often as possible. While their are a handful of players in the league who thrive in this system (LeBron James, Dywane Wade, Tracy McGrady) for the most part all that this does is eliminate the team dynamic on the court.
The best teams in basketball thrive on synergy. However the best players coming out of college are oftentimes the ones who took initiative to stand out from the pack. The easiest manner of doing so? Becoming a swing man.
Being the most athletic players on the court in addition to being the most alpha, swing men make for tantalizing trade bait. Of any other position, they are the most likely to go off for a triple double in a spot start and are always the most marketable. Stockpiling this commodity in the draft assures that a team has young talent that can be dealt for established position players who better fit a coach's schema.
2. Never take a risk on bigs.
Basketball and pro wrestling are the only two forms of sport in which an enigma will be offered a seven figure contract solely on the basis that they stand over seven feet tall. Rarely do these investments pay dividends.
While height obviously aides a basketball player, the ebb and flow of the game is not designed for someone of massive proportions. Anybody over seven foot two is destined to face lingering injury problems, as the body simply cannot keep up with the rigors of constantly running and jumping.
Furthermore, the physical nature of the inside game can age a man overnight. Being pounded at the boards and posted under the basket for eighty two games out of a year is nothing more than the modern day gauntlet.
A big is necessary for success in the league, but rarely worth gambling on. Instead all efforts should be made to ascertain established ones either through free agency and or trades. Imagine the Celtics this year with Spencer Hawes in the middle instead of KG... Could have been a distinct possibility if they had wanted to take thier chances on a big in the draft, rather than going for broke.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Random Sports List!!!
Don't you just hate it when you log onto your favorite sports site, only to find some random nonsensical list regarding players looks? Do I care who the "Top Ten Dreamiest NFL Players Currently Serving Suspensions for Violating the League's Substance Abuse Policy?" About as much as I care for "Top Twenty Hardwood Heartthrobs Who Ballooned to Over Three Hundred Pounds Before Retiring."
And yet I still read these articles. I read them simply on the basis that they are sports related. I hate it and yet I succumb to it, much like when I accidentally rented transvestite porn over a holiday weekend.
Regardless, in the spirit of mocking the modern sports media, I present to you my own extremely biased list. Without further ado...
Top Ten Sports Columnists File Photos
1. Bill Simmons
The classic mock laughter pose made famous by the crew at "NFL Today." His fox like grin borders somewhere on lines of, "Take the damned picture already, this tie is killing me," and "I just crapped in Skip Bayless' cereal." Enjoy your Cocoa Puffs Commie douche bag.
2. Jason Whitlock
Its a wonder that they could fit him into a profile photo without breaking out the wide angle lens. He looks winded, but satisfied, meaning he has either just dealt out some of his patented candid insights, or he had to jock for position with Charles Barkley after the Krispy Kreme fresh light went on. Very reminiscent to the look Belladonna had after her scene in "Weapons of Ass Destruction."
3. Charley Rosen
His photo only complements his attempts to come across as the grumpiest old cuss in sports. I can just picture him smoking cigarettes in his garage, listening to a Pistons - Spurs game on an old transistor radio, and hollering about all of the missed defensive rotations.
4. Dayn Perry
The obituary photo... I rescind that. Even making that one sniping comment hurt my soul a little. Making fun of Peter Gammons is like mocking someone's grandfather. Just not cool. On a serious note, I was distraught for days when he had his aneurysm. I hope this BoSox loving bastard lives forever.
And yet I still read these articles. I read them simply on the basis that they are sports related. I hate it and yet I succumb to it, much like when I accidentally rented transvestite porn over a holiday weekend.
Regardless, in the spirit of mocking the modern sports media, I present to you my own extremely biased list. Without further ado...
Top Ten Sports Columnists File Photos
1. Bill Simmons
The classic mock laughter pose made famous by the crew at "NFL Today." His fox like grin borders somewhere on lines of, "Take the damned picture already, this tie is killing me," and "I just crapped in Skip Bayless' cereal." Enjoy your Cocoa Puffs Commie douche bag.
2. Jason Whitlock
Its a wonder that they could fit him into a profile photo without breaking out the wide angle lens. He looks winded, but satisfied, meaning he has either just dealt out some of his patented candid insights, or he had to jock for position with Charles Barkley after the Krispy Kreme fresh light went on. Very reminiscent to the look Belladonna had after her scene in "Weapons of Ass Destruction."
3. Charley Rosen
His photo only complements his attempts to come across as the grumpiest old cuss in sports. I can just picture him smoking cigarettes in his garage, listening to a Pistons - Spurs game on an old transistor radio, and hollering about all of the missed defensive rotations.
4. Dayn Perry
For some reason, he has two drastically different photos. The original makes him look like the dweeb singer from "Bare Naked Ladies." The other one gives the impression that he is dying of cancer. Neither one makes me wet between the legs.
5. Rick Reilly
The existential pose. A combination of the tragic thinker mixed with the sardonic grin of a man enlightened by many of life's lessons. Later made famous by the pregnant man seen on "Oprah."
6. Jayson Stark
Recently lost his beloved cat, "Mookie" and had him fashioned into a nifty cap so he could keep him close from now until eternity. Okay I made that up, but that sounds like a credible enough rationale to describe that damp furry mass on his head.
7. J.A. Adande
Classic yearbook photo. I wonder if they had an award back when he graduated for, "Most Likely to Sellout and Serve as a Lackey for Tony "Stat Boy" Reali."
8. Peter Gammons
The obituary photo... I rescind that. Even making that one sniping comment hurt my soul a little. Making fun of Peter Gammons is like mocking someone's grandfather. Just not cool. On a serious note, I was distraught for days when he had his aneurysm. I hope this BoSox loving bastard lives forever.
9. Mark Kreigel
The classic Jewish tough guy. His black and white photo makes him look like a cub reporter for the Brooklyn Dodgers. All he needs is a fedora and a press ticket and he can be out their finding the "hot scoop." In reality his articles effectively take hot scoops on whichever athletes are prominent in the headlines.
10. Mary Buckheit
A talented (and surprisingly attractive) journalist whose articles often get buried by her male counterparts. So naturally she brings up the rear on this list.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Nihilistic Gobbledygook
VS. 
The other day I treated myself to a fond stroll down memory lane by watching the 1981 classic "Heavy Metal." Perhaps it was a part of me longing to recapture a fond fleeting remnant of my childhood that is fluttering away with time.
Or perhaps it was because "South Park" paid homage to the flick in one of this seasons episodes.
Whatever the case, the movie embodies the eighties unlike any other. Essentially it is nothing, but a clip show of boobs, blood, and rocking music. Beyond this however several notable aspects stood out in my recent viewing:
- Don Felder's long forgotten gem "Heavy Metal (Taking a Ride)" remains as lucid and seething as ever before.
- John Candy as the star voice actor proves just why he is deserving of enshrinement in the "Comic Fat Guys" Mt. Rushmore.
- The short "Harry Canyon" is gleefully entertaining and in hindsight serves as the entire basis for that forgettable Bruce Willis fare, "The Fifth Element." I was pleased to be reminded of this one, as in my previous recollection of the film, the immortal "B-17" trumped all others.
And while I was overall pleased with my choice to dig out the flick for one last hurrah, I had one major complaint.
How can a film that is given the handle "Heavy Metal," in fact be less metal than "Transformers: The Movie?"
(Note: Before we go any further into this, please allow me to clarify one poignant issue. By "Transformers: The Movie" I am referring to the 1986 animated feature, not the Michael Bay debacle that is rapidly approaching "Rocky 5" status of movies never happened. I will admit becoming a little misty eyed in seeing Jazz torn in half by Megatron, but this in no way compares to the emotional trauma my psyche endured in witnessing the massacre of Ironhide, Prowl, Ratchet, Brawn, Windcharger and Wheeljack.)
How can Sammy Haggar touch Stan Bush's offerings? He wishes that he wrote these songs. "You Got the Touch" was even cited in "Boogie Nights!" Dirk Diggler sang transformers music for Gawd sake!!!
"Heavy Metal" had a Deo helmed Black Sabbath in tow, but even the pioneer of the devil horn hand sign himself could not touch the caustic wailings heard in Lion's cover of the "Transformer's Theme."
Even the prophet Steve Perry crumbles in the face of "Instruments of Destruction" by the band N.R.G.
This being said, while "Heavy Metal" warrants a presence in my collection of disintegrating VHS tapes, I hold divisively that the title should be awarded to the Transformers on account of lack of metal awesomeness.
From here on out "Transformers: The Movie" will hereby be referred to as "Transformers: Heavy Metal" with "Heavy Metal" changing its name to "Pterodactyl Riding Thunder Cunts:
Starring John Candy."
That is my word and it has been written.
...
..
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At this point if you have read this far into the article, you may ponder what bearing this has at all on the sports landscape.
You are right. It doesn't.
Which is exactly why I take issue with the direction sports journalism is headed towards in our modern era. Articles like this have absolutely nothing to do with sports and yet are being passed by sports columnists all over.
I get it. "The Wire" is a brilliant show and I cannot wait to sit down and watch it in its entirety on DVD. However I fail to see how promotion of the show has anything to do with the NBA. Just because one or two of the players might one day end up like some of the characters on the show, I do not see the connection.
Yes, I have heard that the Raconteurs new album is supposed to be fabulous. And this will affect my fantasy draft how? For that matter, why are you being paid to tell me who to pick in a fictionalized league based entirely upon pure luck?
We have access to a nigh infinite amount of information via the web and yet I am more likely to find an in depth interview with Adam Corrolla in regards to his short lived stint on "Dancing with the Stars," then I am of finding one journalist willing to hold Matt Walsh's feet to the fire regarding his accusations against the New England Patriots.
Most people probably do not even know who Matt Walsh is.
Who dropped the ball in inquiring about steroid use in baseball, allowing Jose Canseco to be "vindicated" by the Mitchell Report?
What dirt has not been dug on "Sneaker Pimp" William Wesley allowing him to continue his influence on basketball?
Why is it not fishy to some that NBA commissioner David Stern is friends with Sonics majority owner Clay Bennett and somehow franchise player Kevin Durant ended up in Seattle?
No, no. Those questions will never do.
Journalists who ignite fires end up broke. Journalists who sit around and argue sports, (while citing other TV shows starring journalists who sit around and argue sports) get to write player's memoirs.
A journalists job is not an easy one. Newsworthy material is not often entertaining. Serving as a living information filter, it is understandable of how one would use pop culture and hip simile to attract more attention to bylines.
However journalists have an obligation to the masses, and that is to provide an insight. To seek truth in a world of lies. To delve into unexplored realms. Damn it, they evoke the "vox populi."
.
..
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And you know what? Maybe that has been the problem all along.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Just Call Me Mark Kegel
Danica Patrick became the first female to ever win an IRL race.
Which only means that her imminent spread in Playboy has been delayed an additional two years.
Tiger Woods is out for at least a month after knee surgery.
We may as well beat the rush and rename this site "Nobody Likes Golf... Again."
John Marzano died, may he rest in peace.
Seattle Mariner faithful will always remember him as the guy who lived out their greatest fantasies by punching out Paul O'Neill.
If the Pistons face the Spurs in the Finals again this year, then I am done with basketball for at least three years. No joke.
I figure that will be about how long it takes before I get the pleasure of watching the Memphis Grizzlies playing in Sonics jerseys.
Hey, at least we would get Mike Miller, arguably the best white guy in the league.
That will ease his transition to a city weened on Robert Swift, Vladimir Radmanovich, Vladimir Stepania, Nick Collison, Luke Ridnour, Vitali Potepenko, Pedrag Drobnjak, etc.
Kind of like how the Mariners finally got a left fielder in Randy Winn when Lou Pinnella left.
The Sonics would finally get the best white guy some years after the Wally Walker debacle.
Don't you just hate how every "Page 2" article has an incessant amount of hyperlinks?
I don't know about you, but I find this truly annoying.
Which only means that her imminent spread in Playboy has been delayed an additional two years.
Tiger Woods is out for at least a month after knee surgery.
We may as well beat the rush and rename this site "Nobody Likes Golf... Again."
John Marzano died, may he rest in peace.
Seattle Mariner faithful will always remember him as the guy who lived out their greatest fantasies by punching out Paul O'Neill.
If the Pistons face the Spurs in the Finals again this year, then I am done with basketball for at least three years. No joke.
I figure that will be about how long it takes before I get the pleasure of watching the Memphis Grizzlies playing in Sonics jerseys.
Hey, at least we would get Mike Miller, arguably the best white guy in the league.
That will ease his transition to a city weened on Robert Swift, Vladimir Radmanovich, Vladimir Stepania, Nick Collison, Luke Ridnour, Vitali Potepenko, Pedrag Drobnjak, etc.
Kind of like how the Mariners finally got a left fielder in Randy Winn when Lou Pinnella left.
The Sonics would finally get the best white guy some years after the Wally Walker debacle.
Don't you just hate how every "Page 2" article has an incessant amount of hyperlinks?
I don't know about you, but I find this truly annoying.
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