M's Clinch .500. Celebrate Good Times!...I Will

2008 was a tough year for being a Seattle Sports fan, there wasn't a franchise or program that wasn't abysmal or stolen from us. Even with the Hawks going 4-12 and the Dawgs going 0-12 the Mariners and their $110 million payroll for 101 losses stuck out as the clearest example of pure fail.

Coming off a solid season prior, many fans felt the addition of Erik Bedard via trade would be the key to success in '08. People hoped the acquisition of a "true number one" was the final piece to make this team a contender, paving the way for domination. Instead it turned out to be one of the worst trades ever. So terrible in fact that it caused many fans to actively forget about the Derek Lowe and Jason Varitek for Heathcliff Slocumb trade.

The M's were in such a terrible state of disrepair after Bill Bavasi's tenure it seemed that there truly was no floor. I felt that no matter who was hired as the next GM they would have a Chernobyl sized clean-up in front of them. Fans seemed resigned themselves to the idea of a long rebuild. Enter Jack Zduriencik.

As a former Director of Player Personnel for the Brewers many in the blogosphere, including myself, worried that Zduriencik was too much of an old school GM when hired. With a solid field of up and coming stat-oriented candidates Zduriencik seemed too scout oriented to complete the overhaul needed to make the M's decent again. Feeling wrong never felt so right.

Tonight, with King Felix making his second to last start(ever?), the M's won their 81st game this year, ensuring a .500 record for the season. I, for one, am at Billy Mays on the excite-o-meter. My beloved M's seem to be building towards something good. FINALLY!!

Equipped with the best defense in the league-a full 20 runs better than the next best team- and possibly the best defense of the decade, a pitching staff and line-up(however impotent) built for the stadium it look to have a solid foundation for the future. The upgrades all over the team have added 20(!!!) wins so far to this season's total all thanks to Jack Zduriencik.

I am very excited to see what moves he makes over the winter to upgrade the offense and tweak the bullpen. Seeing what he has done so far I expect nothing less than a philosophers stone type move of turning Carlos Silva into Albert Pujols somehow. I kid, but I know there will be some move he does that has me standing and cheering when I get the news, even if it's in the middle of class.

Jarrod Washburn Flirts With Perfection. Perfection Tells Him To Tuck His Sack Back. Wear Some Rouge

All manner of improbable things have occurred this week for the Mariners.

 First, they acquired a damn good outfielder, Ryan Langerhans, to replace the injured Endy Chavez for practically nothing. Then, they managed to go 5-4 on a road trip against the best teams in baseball in some parks that should spell death for our pitchers.

It was a road trip over which fans expected the M's to go 2-7 or 3-6  . That they managed to come out with a winning record revived hope presumed dead in April. Then came the return home against a tough pitching match-up against a hot Brad Bergenson and Jarrod Washburn who's results belied his peripheral stats. Not did the M's manage to mount some decent offense against Bergenson but Jarrod Washburn threw a one hitter. The one hit was the only thing keeping Jarrod Washburn from a perfect game.

Part of me is happy he didn't get a perfect game for a few reasons. First, I wouldn't have been able to see it and that woulda been a bummer. Second,  Jarrod Washburn has been a miserable acquisition prior to this year. High paid and poor performing, Washburn blamed his struggles on the poor pitch-calling of his battery, Kenji Johjima, which doesn't sit well with me. I'd rather the benevolent King Felix, throw a perfect game. It would sit better in the soul of this life long Seattle fan.

Despite these petty misgivings, a perfect game is a perfect game. When a pitcher is close you always root for the magic to continue. Plus, the accomplishment would have increased Wash's already elevated trade status,which could have have meant an even better haul for the M's in trading the soon-to-be free agent.

Right now the M's need to sell high on Washburn. He is an improved pitcher this year but, like I linked earlier in the post, his recent success is far more luck-based that skill baswed. The M's should trade him before that luck trends south.

I'm pretty sure team like the Phillies would be willing to give up some pieces to have Washburn shore up their injury-riddled rotation. Guys like Jason Vargas, Ryan Rowland-Smith when he comes up from Tacoma, and Garret Olsen provide the same profile of a pitcher with extreme fly-ball tendencies who rely on outfield defense to make outs.

Same goes for Erik Bedard. Sure he's been great when he's healthy but Bedard and health get along like The Sham-Wow Guy and hookers. Even when healthy it's not as if Bedard has gone deep into games. The best to hope for is for him to string together a few good starts so he can be traded before the deadline.

It's nice to be excited about possible trades to keep us in contention. At this point last year we were 18 games under .500 hundred. To be 4 games over this year and only 3 1/2 out of first means my summer banter can have a qaulity sports tinge to it and not just be about the badassness of the Black Lantern Corps.

M's Continue To Flirt With .500. Heavy Petting Expected Soon

The M's came into the series against hated rival San Diego their Catholicism looking to pick up a few more wins before they head out on the hellish 9 game road trip that takes them to the home run heaven of the new Yankee Stadium, minuscule Fenway Park, and out to Chavez ravine in East LA. Today was not a good start to the series.

Garret Olson showed why he is a back end rotation starter/long reliever by taking the M's Win Expectancy down below 10% before handing the game over to Roy Corcoran to add another 3 runs to the Padres lead. Corcoran has been less than stellar in his small amount(10 2/3 innings) so far this year. His line drive percentage is at 27% compared to last years 10.2%. Combine that and a walk rate of 10.13BB/9 innings and you got a dealy mixture like Codeine and Promethazine. Hopefully as he gets healthy he'll start pitching better, until then I'd like to not have him in while the game is at all still in question.

The M's decided to show itself later in the game with both Griffey and Branyan homering do satisfy the crowd with requisite dingers to keep them distracted from the loss. Griffey's homer was the 5,000th HR in M's history. Rather fitting he be the one to hit it.

Scoring 7 runs and only losing by 2 stings like a mofo. Many fans will blame Corcoran for not stopping the bleeding by letting the 2 runners he inherited score but then adding 3 earned runs of his own to the mess. In reality Olson put is in the tough spot by giving up so many runs earlier. Over 90% of the time the M's lose that game with just the 4 runs that Olson gave up in his 5+ innings of work.

No matter who was to blame for the runs given up there was no excuse for the M's offense to only awaken once the decidely mediocre Chad Gaudin left the game with the best line of his career. Same old story I suppose. Right handers with a pulse are the M's kryptonite. It's really sad.

Tough loss against a pretty terrible team. We do it again with Morrow starting again(I know WTF?!) and then Washburn to close out the series. Hey M's try to not to lose the series to a terrible Padres team. PLEASE.

Huskies Lose To Purdue: Seattle Sports Fan Suicide Watch Back In Effect

The NCAA tournament is a cruel mistress and this time she kicked the Dawgs out of bed with their baby arm still at full mast. Which is to say, the Dawgs were bounced before they were ready.

After a dominant performance against a streaking Mississippi State team in the first round of the tournament The Huskies were looking like the team I thought could have a solid tournament run. In their second round opponent, Purdue, UW was poised to answer the question of which conference was worse, The Big 10 or the Pac-10. The results would move Seattle sports fans a step closer to the edge.

Here's the thing about the match-up against Purdue, they were not your typical #5 seed. A top 20 team most of the season, The Boilermakers slipped down the stretch due to back to back losses stemming from the back injury of their star forward Robbie Hummel. When Hummel finally came back and was healthy the Boilermakers plowed through the Big 10 tournament like Dante Stallworth's Bentley through pedestrians.

While Gonzaga was playing the likes of Akron and Western Kentucky, The Huskies faced their second winner of a conference tournament. Like I said in an earlier post, fuck you very much, NCAA selection committee.

Perhaps I should have added a third key to UW's post-season success which would be "start the game strong". In the near loss to Stanford and aborted comeback attempt vs Arizona State in the Pac-10 tourney the Dawgs came out slow. They managed to pull out a win against Stanford. Against ASU they weren't so lucky.

Facing Purdue to the right to play UConn in the next round, The Huskies came out flatter than Anne Coulter but played with none of the balls she posesses. UW's normally fast up and down pace turned frantic as players threw up shots with a hurried futility. The defense wasn't much better. The few times a Purdue player shot with a hand in their face they cooly knocked it down. All this lead to The Huskies being lucky to be down only 11 at the break. In the end, this deficit was too much to overcome.

The second half dangled the promise of a win so tantalizingly close to Dawg fans' faces we could practically taste it. John Brockman, dormant in the first half, blew up like Mt. St.Helens. He used to his bulk and low post prowess to become an unstoppable force. Isaiah Thomas realized that Purdue didn't have a defender that could hope to guard him on the perimeter and drove to the basket at will. Their combined efforts pulled The Dawgs back within two with seconds left but a couple blocked shots and a missed lay-in later the Huskies hopes were left beaten down like Rihanna on Grammy night. The long and crazy ride of the season had stopped and the fans were left wondering, what's next?

After a pounding a few drinks to numb the pain of the loss I tried to rationalize my feelings. "Well," I told my friends "at the start of this season who woulda thought we woulda made it this far? Cheers to that!" We clinked our plastic cups as we stood on the emptying floor of the casino's viewing area and gulped down our drinks. But the words, despite their truth, rang hollow at that moment. Our team just took us on an emotionally draining journey and we were now coming down from that basketball high. With nothing to pick up our spirits for weeks or maybe even months we could feel ourselves slipping back into Seattle Sports Malaise, dreaming of what could have been. Someone call 911, I think I'm gonna jump.

Don't You Ever For Ever For A Second Get To Thinking You're Irreplaceable: Julian Peterson Traded to Detroit

So long muscly arms. We will miss you!

Let this be a lesson to other Seahawks who are asked to take a pay cut some time in the future. If you refuse to rework your contract you'll end up with a fate worse than Hell, being traded to Detroit. After all that's what just happened to Julian Peterson.

After the 'Hawks signed Hoshemazode(Championship!) and Colin Cole(ugh!) they found themselves a little up against the salary cap. They asked JP to restructure his contract and he was unwilling. Tim Ruskell then decided the the best course of action was to trade Julian to the Lions for Corey Redding and a 5th round pick.


I'm not quite sure how I feel about this deal yet. I loved JP as a Seahawk. He was one of the most versatile players on our defense. A player that could cover pretty well and could rush the passer like Rosie O'Donnel rushed the buffet line. In his three short years in Seattle Peterson racked up 25 sacks, 9 forced fumbles and 2 ints. Those are some pretty damn impressive numbers.

I'm of the mind set that a great line backing corps, like Seattle had, is a great thing. Thing is, even the best linebackers in the league require their D-line to allow them to eat up blockers make plays. To put it in language that our readers can understand let me equate it to porno. The D-line is like the drugs male porn stars take to go longer. The viewer is amazed at the how long furious the ball-slapping pace has been kept but don't realize that with the mean coke-dick the male lead is sporting 3 hours of solid pounding is nothing to him. It's exactly the same as when viewers are wowed by a linebackers incredible play but pay no attention to the d-lineman taking on double teams like Monica Sweetheart.

Another factor that justifies this move it the fact that Peterson just hit 31. Now, that's not exceptionally old but it is on the down slope of most NFL careers. While Peterson may be a physical freak it is safe to question how many productive seasons he has ahead of him. Leroy Hill, his sensible replacement, while lacking the pure pass rush instincts off Peterson, is still damn good and only 26.

In the trade the Seahawks acquired Corey Redding, a dominant interior defensive lineman. In 2006 Redding, notched up 8 sacks, a healthy number for an interior lineman. He had another solid year in 2007 before sitting out 2008 with injuries. Paired with man-beast Mebane, Redding should help form a formidable wall in the middle of the d-line.

Tim Ruskell's alter ego.

Finally, this move may start massive speculation about the possibility or even need for the 'Hawks to draft LB Aaron Curry out of Wake Forest with our #4 overall pick. I don't think this will be the case.I think there are areas that'd be impacted a lot more with #4 overall talent than linebacker. Another thing to keep in mid is that this years draft is very deep at linebacker and lb is one of the areas Tim Ruskell has shown a Randy West-eqsue eye for up and cumming coming linebacking talent. Hill himself was a fourth rounder and the defensive heart, Lofa Tatupu was drafted in the second. So there is hope that Ruskell would be able to draft a solid linebacker with a later pick and make this trade look even better.

In all I think this was a solid trade, as much as it hurts me to lose such a unique talent in Julian Peterson. The 'Hawks gain cap space and get a solid package return on the out going talent. It will be interesting to see what shape the Seahawks defense rounds into next season.

Seattle Sports Slurry aka I <3 alliteration

A lot has happened in the Seattle Sports Scene in the months that have passed without regular posting. To catch up I'm gonna rundown the various storylines that have cropped up and provide some of my own thoughts as well as links to complement said thoughts. After this I hope to get back to posting regularly on one subject providing my usual ample amounts of snark, porn and drug references mixed in a bit of occasional commentary and attempts at analysis. Enough with the formalities, let's blog!

I think the major occurrence that happened while I was busy neglecting my baby like I was Karl Malone was the return of The Kid. You would be hard pressed to find a fan in Marinerdom that wasn't excited about the return of Ken Griffey Junior to the Mariners, even if he isn't the Junior of old. Many people, including Junior himself are hoping that he will spend a significant amount of time out in the field. Dave over at the always insightful USSM lays out a hell of an argument as to why Junior should see as little time in the field as possible. Basically it comes down the fact that compared to Junior, Raul's terrible defense over the past few years looks gold glove worthy (take that as you will). My hope is that Griffey sees the outfield minimally and platoons at DH the rest of the time. The one downside to Griffey coming back is that the M's front office is no longer forced to find an interesting way of selling this team of relatively unknown, albeit solid, players.

That brings me to my next point, Jack Zduriencik, the Mariners new GM, has done a very solid job of acquiring cheap talent. Many Mariner fans would look at the guys one the 2009 roster and automatically assume we are in for another 100+ loss season. I have to disagree with that idea if for no other reason than defensively we are light years ahead of last years defensively inept team. To the uninformed defense is the third and least important aspect winning baseball games. Hell to some it may be even a distant fourth behind the all-important yet ever so unquantifiable chemistry factor.

To know just how much defense matters I present two examples. The first is the offensive juggernaut that was the 2005 New York Yankees. Despite having an incredibly impressive offense and high-powered pitching staff the Yankees fell short in the playoffs. The reason? That team possessed one of the worst defenses to ever make the playoffs. In the playoffs, when the importance of every out is magnified and runs scored are at a premium a poor defense can be the spark the destroys the Hindenburg.

Conversely, the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays, much like the 2001 Mariners relied on their defensive prowess to advance all the way to the World Series. An already solid young pitching staff was augmented by a defense that could convert balls in play into outs, balls that the 2005 Yankees would only be able to make nominal attempts to catch.

With the defensive upgrades and the possibility of a decent amount of production from the DH platoon and first base this team will be better than people think. The AL West is east-coast-pot weak and in the only 4 team division in baseball some people think the M's have a decent shot at winning it. I, for one, am holding out hope.

The Seahawks have the #4 pick in the Draft. Too bad it's a pretty weak draft. There has been a lot of speculation on who The 'Hawks will draft. I have no real idea about what Tim Ruskell is going to do with the #4 overall pick. He moves in mysterious ways. But I would like the Seahawks to get some O-Line depth and find someone that can replace Brian Russel. Because despite the apologists out there that try to cover-up B-Russ' suckitude like holocaust deniers, there is no religious body to destroy the massive amounts of video evidence that display Russel's pure suck.

The Seahawks signed Colin Cole to be paired with man-beast and possible Werewolf by Night, Brandon Mebane at DT. Ostensibly this move will allow Mebane to move to the more disruptive 3-technique tackle where his quickness off the ball and ability to use his leverage to break through blocks will allow him to rush the passer.

Sadly, I don't see this being the case. Not because I don't think Mebane has the skills but because I don't think Cole has the skills. Cole was a back-up on a terrible Packers run defense last season and, when given playing time, was ineffective. That is the football equivalent of being the guitarist for Limp Bizkit after Wes Borland left and being fired. It wasn't as if there is some high standard being set by the person being replaced. So if the replacement performs below the artificially low level set by their predecessor they must really be terrible.

Cole, despite being a seemingly stout 6'1" and 330lbs, fails to hold the point of attack against a double team which was the specific duty he was brought in for. If Cole is blown off the ball easily and fails to command a double team then Brandon Mebane won't have the luxury of seeing one on one match-up to get to the quarterback. If this is the case, it slows Mebane's pass rush considerably and could well be the difference between a hurried and incomplete pass and a complete pass. Let us hope that Red Bryant steps up big time this year and takes over Cole's job.

Steve Sarkesian, former offensive coordinator at perenial powerhouse USC, was hired to turn the UW Football team around. Coming in late to the recruiting process, due to the exit of Tyrone Willingham, Sarkesian managed to put together a respectable recuiting class, despite losing out on a few quality recruits at the last minute.

In his short tenure at Montlake so far Sarkesian has managed to impress. He brings a much needed vitality to the program that was sorely missing under the dour business like approach of Willingham. I wanted Willingham to suceed but by the end it was clear he was not the right man for the job. Already Sarkesian is making a big push for the 2010 recruiting class. Even going so far as to simulate coming out of the tunnel at Husky Stadium complete with smoke and effects. And while technically this is a recruiting violation I enjoy seeing the coach go to such lengths to get kids excited about playing at Montlake again.

While Dawg fans might see more kids leave the program than huge dividends early on, down the road the intensity and results will be there. Already, there is talk of possibly getting Jake Heaps, considered one of the best prospects in the nation to commit early to UW. IF this happens, and that is a big if considering the offers he has in front of him, it would be a huge gain for the Huskies who could use his commitment as a recruiting tool to try and draw in more talent with the lure of playing with Heaps. After enduring the worst season in Husky football history, a strong draft class, especially one highlighted by Heaps, would do a lot to give Dawg fans hope for the future.

That bout does it for my Seattle Sports Slurry. Hopefully you will enjoy my efforts to give you interesting bits of food for thought on the recent major local story lines. I would update you on Sounders FC news but we all know Nobody Likes Soccer.

What Is This Emotion I Am Feeling? Huh-ope-uh, Is That Right? Hope?

Faithful readers, it has been too long since anyone has taken the time out of their busy lives to pay attention to this looker of a blog, as such it has fallen into disrepair. I aim to make that right and get to posting back on here again on a somewhat regular basis. Now, onto the post!

The UW Mens Husky Basketball team won the fuggin Pac-10 outright!!! Take another look at that last sentence and savor it. The team that was predicted to carry on the established 2008 continuity of mediocrity and finish 5th at best in the weakened Pac-10 won the title for the first time since 1953! In a sports year that has left many Seattle sports fans on the ledge ready to jump the UW mens Basketball team has been a comforting voice telling us to step back in the window, things aren't really that bad.

With a number 2 seed within easy reach should the team win the Pac-10 tourney The Dawgs are looking like the real deal. This would almost assure The Dawgs a spot in the sweet 16 and from there only 3 wins removed from the National Championship game. I believe with the deep and balanced squad The Dawgs have this year they have a decent shot at the Final Four, if not beyond.

There are two major things that need to happen for us to go as far as I believe we can. The first is the Dawgs need to knock down their outside shots. Justin Dentmon hit on 43% of his attempts from beyond the arc this season and is going to need to get his groove back after going 5 for his last 25 from deep. If The Dawgs are knocking down their outside shots it makes them an almost impossible team to guard. Their already potent drive and dish game is augmented by the threat of the outside shot and can result in teams biting hard on the pump fake making easy driving lanes.

The second key is dealing with the refs. The Huskies up-tempo fast-breaking style of play starts with a Kyle Gass and Jack Black style Tenacious D. The massive amounts of pressure Washington puts on opposing ball handlers leads to forced shots, long rebounds and turnovers. All are major components in UW's Leonard Little-esque drives to the hoop that often result in trips to the line with the Darryl Strawberry like frequency. But the consistancy of that component of the game was in part due to the often iffy reffing of Pac-10 officials. If the officials in the tourney decide to call a tighter game and stall our agressive advances like the fat friend of the hot girl at the bar the wins necesary to advance to basketball Canaan aka Detroit-WTF?! Who thought it would be a good idea to host the Final Four in a "city" where this happens?-will be much harder to come by.

If the Huskies can have these two factors fall in their favor I think there is a real shot at they will be Detroit bound-again how odd is to want more than anything to punch your ticket going TO Detroit aka the nation's anus?

After a terribly disapointing 2008 sports-wise a deep run into the NCAA tournament for The Dawgs would be a dose of Zoloft the city of Seattle desperately needs.

I Believe in Nothing...Execept Taking Joy in the Suffering of Others

There is something very freeing about living in a shitty sports city and Seattle most definitely is that recently. The fiery passions that burn in my heart, once extinguished, can be replaced with a smothering hatred towards all things. I no longer have to root for my team to win but I can now root openly for other teams to fail, hoping for misery the way a contending fan hopes for a joyous outcome. It is a truly liberating feeling.

Watching the ALCS between the Tampa Bay Rays and the Bawston Red Sawks I came to the realization that I wasn't rooting so much for the Rays to win as I was rooting for the Sawks to lose. I was wishing their terribly annoying fans to disappear and go back to committing hate crimes on assorted minorities and quee-ahs. The Tampa Bay Rays could have been the terrible KC Royals and I would have been just as happy.

During that series I felt, for the first time in a long time, that there indeed was a God and he too hated the Sawks. Why else would he let them come back from a 7-0 deficit in the 7th inning of a potentially deciding game? What other explanation was there for the Sawks taking game 6 as well? This inflated Bawston sports fans egos to Sally Struthers proportions as the media talked about the experienced leadership of the Sawks, how they had been there before, twice, and come back. Then in one last final act of cruelty the Lord let Justin Pedroia hit a 1st inning homerun leading Sawks fans all over the country to blow their loads on their keep sake photos of the balding midget.

God has a hell of a sense of humor, just look at the platypus. He gave Sawks fans so much hope and hubris only to pull it all away with the gas powered arm of rookie David Price. Price came out and pitched the last two innings of ALCS game 7 and blew away the veteran Sawks line-up. What indignity! For such gritty and clutch vets to be cut down like wheat before the scythe by a rookie, was unthinkable to Sawks fans. The rook should have been like a young Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn, unable to find the strike zone and eventually walk in the winning run. That he didn't gave me a schadenfreude hard-on the would put Mr.Marcus to shame.

Just when I thought I couldn't revel anymore in the pain of others, came Sunday. America's Team was a team in turmoil. Missing their starting QB, Tony Romo, with a broken pinky, having lost "big play" corner/punt returner Pacman Jones due to idiocy, and superstar Terrell Owens whining like one of the dogs Mike Vick drowned because he wasn't getting enough touches. Both coach Wade Phillips and Owner Jerry Jones had to be worried about things, as this pre-season Super Bowl favorite had lost 2 of it's last 3 games going into Sunday. That one win was a squeaker against the winless Bungles.

The Rams were on a high after firing Coach Scott Linehan whose tactics, like benching $60 million man Marc Bulger for the walking concussion Trent Green, had lost him the team's respect. The high was extended as they rolled over Dallas 34-14. Steven Jackson ran through Dallas' once vaunted D for 160 yard and 3 td's. The whole while I was on a schadenfreude high cheesing my balls off. I hadn't been that giddy Since Monday Night Football where Elisha Manning reverted to the slobbering mongoloid we knew him as.

The implosion of the Cowboys looks to continue for at least few more weeks . Their schedule before the bye is imposing to put it lightly as The 5-2 Bucs come to Dallas, then The 'Boys go to NY to face the retard and his 5-1 VaGiants, after that is a bye and Romo may be back. At that point it might be too late like foreigner said "the damage is done".

I may not have a lot to look forward to sportswise in my black hole sunshine city, this is true. But I have more than enough sources to keep my hate filled heart overflowing in these coming weeks and that's all that really matters.