M's Clinch .500. Celebrate Good Times!...I Will

2008 was a tough year for being a Seattle Sports fan, there wasn't a franchise or program that wasn't abysmal or stolen from us. Even with the Hawks going 4-12 and the Dawgs going 0-12 the Mariners and their $110 million payroll for 101 losses stuck out as the clearest example of pure fail.

Coming off a solid season prior, many fans felt the addition of Erik Bedard via trade would be the key to success in '08. People hoped the acquisition of a "true number one" was the final piece to make this team a contender, paving the way for domination. Instead it turned out to be one of the worst trades ever. So terrible in fact that it caused many fans to actively forget about the Derek Lowe and Jason Varitek for Heathcliff Slocumb trade.

The M's were in such a terrible state of disrepair after Bill Bavasi's tenure it seemed that there truly was no floor. I felt that no matter who was hired as the next GM they would have a Chernobyl sized clean-up in front of them. Fans seemed resigned themselves to the idea of a long rebuild. Enter Jack Zduriencik.

As a former Director of Player Personnel for the Brewers many in the blogosphere, including myself, worried that Zduriencik was too much of an old school GM when hired. With a solid field of up and coming stat-oriented candidates Zduriencik seemed too scout oriented to complete the overhaul needed to make the M's decent again. Feeling wrong never felt so right.

Tonight, with King Felix making his second to last start(ever?), the M's won their 81st game this year, ensuring a .500 record for the season. I, for one, am at Billy Mays on the excite-o-meter. My beloved M's seem to be building towards something good. FINALLY!!

Equipped with the best defense in the league-a full 20 runs better than the next best team- and possibly the best defense of the decade, a pitching staff and line-up(however impotent) built for the stadium it look to have a solid foundation for the future. The upgrades all over the team have added 20(!!!) wins so far to this season's total all thanks to Jack Zduriencik.

I am very excited to see what moves he makes over the winter to upgrade the offense and tweak the bullpen. Seeing what he has done so far I expect nothing less than a philosophers stone type move of turning Carlos Silva into Albert Pujols somehow. I kid, but I know there will be some move he does that has me standing and cheering when I get the news, even if it's in the middle of class.

"Ohhh We're Halfway There. Oh-Whoa Livin' On A Prayer!" A Mariners First Half Recap

The lazy days of summer are my my half-breed ass like bloggers on this whole Erin Andrews Fiasco. As such I haven't posted in a bit. Granted, not a whole lot significant has gone down since I last posted. Erik Bedard and Jarrod Washburn are still with the team. There is no shiny new shortstop on the team nor a load of prospects to scrutinize. I guess Yuni got traded for something more than a bag of horseballs. This along with the move of picking up Hanahan for a 3rd base stop gap upgrade and the Lnagerhans for Morse deal show Zduriencik's ability to incrementally add to the team for little expense now or in the future.

Upgrades used to feel like such a zero sum game. Need a 5th starter? Trade your best bullpen arm for Horacio Ramirez. Need a DH? Trade away an oft-injured but damn-useful-when healthy player for a washed up Jose Vidro. Close to contention? Trade the farm for a damn-good pitcher who even at his prime isn't worth what was given up. That the new front office recognizes that +.5 wins here, +.3 wins here and +.75 wins there add up to just the same as a +1.55 upgrade but for much cheaper, is fucking great. It's like the act of cleaning your bong, combined with a new bowl piece and building a make shift ice catch is a lot cheaper than purchasing a new bong altogether.

Anyway, now that we are a little over the halfway point of the season I figured it was a good time to look back on what has been and what might be. As opposed to recapping every player or unit as a whole I will give out awards that highlight various players or units. At 49-43 The M's have been alternatingly great and terrible. They started off the season that made me look prescient when I mentioned the possibility of play-offs before the season started. Then they had a terrible May that made me look like a fool for the exact same statements. But a quality June and July has brought this team back into contention. Now if those damn teams ahead of us would stop winning.

The Beer Goggles award-Jarrod Washburn: Yes this man pitched as one hitter his second to last start and yes he's been one of the more consitent pitchers we've had. Here's the thing, Jarrod Washburn isn't that good and he knows it(check out thought #3). He has benefited from great outfield defense and spacious Safeco Field. His peripheral stats are all in line with his career norms save for a low BABIP(batting average for balls in play) which may rise a bit as the season wears but not too much with this D. So he's pretty much the same pitcher as he's always been. Trade him no for fuck's sake!!

The Private Willian Hudson Award-King Felix: In stark contrast to Jarrod Washburn King Felix has made the leap from damn good when he's on pitcher to a true ace. Opponents cry "Game over, man! Game over" every 5 days. He has finally learned to mix his pitches better to keep hitters off balance and is unafraid to throw his breaking stuff for a strike in any count. If he keeps up this type of work throughout the season the M's might have a Cy Young winner in their midst.

The R. Lee Ermy Award-Rob Johnson and Ronny :(edeño: I was unaware that they stacked shit that high. This award is a tied because both have been attrocious with the bat so far this season. Dave at USSM thinks there is hope for RJ and others feel :(edeño is bound for a major uptick in production.

"That's right, Iccccemaan! I am dangerous!" Award-Franklin Guitierrez: Many saw him as a decent player thrown in the Putz deal. Your average all glove no (bat) love outfielder. After a slow start Frankling Guitirrez has gone on a power surge. With his new found power stroke Gutz has blossomed into a beauty like Allyssa Milano post "Who's the Boss?"

The Moonraker award: Another great pickup by Zduriencik, Russell Branyan has gone apeshit once given regular playing time. Currently he has one less dinger so far this season than his career high. WTF?! While he's been struggling a little as of late, smart minds point out he soon should be hitting balls closer to the moon than Apollo 11 ever did.

"Who are those guys?!"Award- Justin Vargas and Garret Olson: Two more players from the Putz deal. These two have come on like Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid in place of fallen starters Carlos Silva and Chris Jakabauskus. These two prove with moderate stuff and great defense much success can be had. The fact that these two have been decent at the end of the rotation makes me higher than Dennis Hopper in "Blue Velvet".

"I'm so gangsta prissy chicks don't wanna fuck with me!" Who else but Ichiro? I'm not sure Seattle fans know just what a special talent they have in Ichiro. Much like people didn't realize for a long time how damn good Jay-Z was. Jay then went on to go make the Kingdom Come album and people realized that the great HOVA was gone. Don't do the same with Ichiro Seattle.

I'm damn tired and my brain is bleeding from the after effects of a crazy weekend. I may add a second part to this post for some of the unmentioned other stars on this damn team. Until then, peace be upon you!!

Jarrod Washburn Flirts With Perfection. Perfection Tells Him To Tuck His Sack Back. Wear Some Rouge

All manner of improbable things have occurred this week for the Mariners.

 First, they acquired a damn good outfielder, Ryan Langerhans, to replace the injured Endy Chavez for practically nothing. Then, they managed to go 5-4 on a road trip against the best teams in baseball in some parks that should spell death for our pitchers.

It was a road trip over which fans expected the M's to go 2-7 or 3-6  . That they managed to come out with a winning record revived hope presumed dead in April. Then came the return home against a tough pitching match-up against a hot Brad Bergenson and Jarrod Washburn who's results belied his peripheral stats. Not did the M's manage to mount some decent offense against Bergenson but Jarrod Washburn threw a one hitter. The one hit was the only thing keeping Jarrod Washburn from a perfect game.

Part of me is happy he didn't get a perfect game for a few reasons. First, I wouldn't have been able to see it and that woulda been a bummer. Second,  Jarrod Washburn has been a miserable acquisition prior to this year. High paid and poor performing, Washburn blamed his struggles on the poor pitch-calling of his battery, Kenji Johjima, which doesn't sit well with me. I'd rather the benevolent King Felix, throw a perfect game. It would sit better in the soul of this life long Seattle fan.

Despite these petty misgivings, a perfect game is a perfect game. When a pitcher is close you always root for the magic to continue. Plus, the accomplishment would have increased Wash's already elevated trade status,which could have have meant an even better haul for the M's in trading the soon-to-be free agent.

Right now the M's need to sell high on Washburn. He is an improved pitcher this year but, like I linked earlier in the post, his recent success is far more luck-based that skill baswed. The M's should trade him before that luck trends south.

I'm pretty sure team like the Phillies would be willing to give up some pieces to have Washburn shore up their injury-riddled rotation. Guys like Jason Vargas, Ryan Rowland-Smith when he comes up from Tacoma, and Garret Olsen provide the same profile of a pitcher with extreme fly-ball tendencies who rely on outfield defense to make outs.

Same goes for Erik Bedard. Sure he's been great when he's healthy but Bedard and health get along like The Sham-Wow Guy and hookers. Even when healthy it's not as if Bedard has gone deep into games. The best to hope for is for him to string together a few good starts so he can be traded before the deadline.

It's nice to be excited about possible trades to keep us in contention. At this point last year we were 18 games under .500 hundred. To be 4 games over this year and only 3 1/2 out of first means my summer banter can have a qaulity sports tinge to it and not just be about the badassness of the Black Lantern Corps.

22 Innings of Futility and Counting

So, in my last post I used a zen parable about the man hanging over a precipice, a tiger above, a tiger below. I equated this to the Mariners season. I also said that the next five games were going to be very critical in terms of keeping the faith that the M's might miraculously claw their way back into the division race.

With #1 Staff Ace Eric Bedard and King Felix pitching the last games against the Rangers things seemed pretty sewed up. I thought that going into the weekend series vs The ChiSox we'd be riding the wave of momentum from the dominating performances of our "best 1-2 punch in baseball".

Sadly, however, I was horribly off. The Mariners offense has decided to mail it in for the past three games. The heralded potent M's offense has resembled a pre-viagra Bob Dole more than an offensive juggernaut.

My buddy at work was going around offering people the over/under of 1 run for the Mariners. No one wanted to lose their money foolishly betting on the M's to score more than 1 run. No one took the under and essentially admit this team is done. Had someone taken the under in any of the past three games they'd have won every time.

The M's have now gone 22 straight innings without a single run scored. In fact, Texas had more walks in the 10-1 blowout(6) than the M's had hits in the next two games(5). This level of ineptitude makes The Washington Generals seem like winners by comparassion, for christ sakes.

Tensions are so high that local goat, Richie Sexson, charged the mound after a pitch flew three feet above his head. With the fervor he hucked his batting helmet at the Texas pitcher, you could tell Richie was frustrated by all the losing. He wanted to spark his team and I respect him for that. Though, it is possible to debate how much pumping up a baseball team needs. But whatever, Richie charging the mound, in a pretty clearly premeditated move, was the most entertaining and fun thing to happen at these recent M's games, possibly all year.

Another good thing for Richie Sexson, other than being a local fool/hero after the brawl, is that with almost the ENTIRE TEAM sucking the way the have been, the fans can't boo him. Or at least him alone. I think the fans realized it wasn't Richie's fault he's in the line-up everyday in the 4 hole. Just as it's not really the team's fault they suck so bad. Booing this team would be like booing your kid for failing to medal at the Special Olympics.

The blame for this, seeming, waste of a season falls squarely on the management. They are the ones who assembled this team. They're the ones who traded a ton of our prospects for an Ace, in the name of being contenders. This despite the glaring holes at 1b, DH, LF and RF.

If the Mariners were a house trading for Eric Bedard is like building a fancy new doorway/foyer to the house when your bathroom is leaking, the windows in the bedroom won't open, and the lawn has meteorite sized potholes. If management had been truly been about contending then they would have done more than just get us a shiny new pitcher. They would have paid whatever it took to get the best possible players for each area of weakness. But they didn't.

But don't worry my loyal readers and true believer M's fans, the wicked do not evade their punishment. Chuck Armstrong, Team President has come under fire recently. And with comments like these it's easy to see why. I have word from an insider close to Mr.Armstrong that at recent Mariners games the lights in the owners suite have been left off, even when Chuck is in suite and watching the game. This is being done due to a rash of people throwing peanuts, popcorn, and anything else they can hurl into the suite. That's right, my friends, Seattle fans are so fed up with this incompetent ownership group that they are now assailing Team President with a hail of garbage. He now watches the game in darkness, a prisoner in his own suite. The slightest flicker of light might trigger a refuse avalanche from the stands into the owners suite.

This warms my heart ever so much. I have long been saying that this team is being held captive to this crappy ownership group. And that as long as that ownership exist this team will never be a real contender. But ownership keeps raking in the cash and producing enough middling results that there is never any chance of bringing in a real management team in. So maybe, just maybe, if you true mariners fans keep throwing garbage into Chuck Amstrong's suite he'll get so tired of watching his crap team in the dark he'll decided that, as the legendary Sam Cooke said, "It's been a long time coming but I know a change is gonna come."