Seahawk Fans Must Be Jizzing In Their Pants Right Now

Star wideout for the Denver Broncos, Brandon Marshall, has requested to be traded. Apparently his want for dismissal has something to do with him feeling that the team hasn't been supportive of his recent relationship issues. And by relationship issues I mean his repeated beatings of his girlfriend. Although, I'm sure having his up and coming QB traded away to Chicago for a neckbeard doesn't help matters.

Normally when I player asks to be traded the team feels no obligation to indulge in his wishes(see: Boldin, Anquan). The player is under contract and if they choose not to play they don't get paid. For some reason Bronco's GM Pat Bowlen fails to understand the concept of leverage and will be giving into Marshall's demands.

As I Seahawk fan I have a huge hard-on over this development. And not just the schadenfreude variety, though I do love how they kicked out ol' Leatherface Shanahan and his succesor has managed to fuck things up in the few short months he's been there. But this hard on is one that derives from fantasies of a top 10 pick in next years draft, quite possibly a pick in the top 5.

With Cutler gone and Marshall on his way out this Bronco's team looks like it has the potential to break the lions 0-16 records set last year. Going 0-18 would seem impossible with a 16 game season but with the ineptitude on display from Bronco's leadership anything is possible. The fate of the Bronco's season lies in the DT shaken hands of a drunken neckbeard, a rookie running back, and a piss poor defense. Sam Bradford here we come!!!

I have to give McDaniels credit for such a Machiavellian scheme of ineptitude. He truly is the brightest of all Belichek's pupils. Crennel, Weis, Mangini, they all took years to ruin their respective franchises and and alienate themselves to their fan bases. McDaniels, ever the wünderkind, has managed to surpass his predecessors in mere months. Papa Belichek must be so proud, y'know, if he wasn't really Ultron in disguise and actually felt emotion.

Right now the idea of two first round picks(one possibly top 5) in a loaded draft next year has me riding a wave of euphoria similar to what David Carradine must have felt in his final moments. The return to respectability in the NW is coming about sooner than expected.

This whole debacle make me happy for many reasons but among them is that this clip is relevant again.

Fear and Loathing at the NFL Draft part II

More random thoughts from the first day of the draft.

Someone needs to round up Hugh Jackman and Anthony Hopkins to go on a mission into the heart of Raidervania and put a stake through Al Davis' heart. With the #7 overall pick the Raiders selected Darius Heyward-Bey. I liked DHB as a later round semi-sleeper WR, but his amazing 40 times was as good as spilt blood to Count Al. Instead of doing the smart thing and trusting he would be around later in the round The Raiders reached and took DHB as the first WR off the board.

In the second round Count Al, again enamored with the life giving nature of the 40 time, selected Michael Mitchell a safety out of Ohio University. This move prompted astonishment from the commentators. Mike Mayock of NFL network muttered "I had him listed as my 50th best safety!"

The Raiders now have a nice collection of players that are straight line fast but might never make it in the quick cuts, stop and start NFL. The Villagers are getting restless, don't be surprised if they aren't outside Count Al's castle with pitchforks and torches if the season goes south.

The Lions proved that, despite lip service being paid to advanced statistics as a means to move the team out of the incompetent shadow of the old regime, nothing had really changed. Matt Stafford got signed a contract worth $78 million/$42 guaranteed a large raise over what Matt Ryan was signed to last year as the #3 overall pick. Nothing endears a player to the destitute populace of the #1 most dangerous city in America like a hugely exorbitant contract, especially in the midst of a fierce depression.

I thought this was a terrible decision as the holes on defense and the O-Line were setting up a young QB with one target for terible failure. The Lions had the chance to look like geniuses with their second pick. Needing to redeem themselves for the Gosder Cherilus tackle debacle of last year and Michael Oher sitting for them at #20 it seemed like fate gave them a second chance. Instead, The Lions punched fate in the face, grabbed it and forcibly had their way with it. The Lions selected TE Brandon Pettigrew. As nice as a quality tight end is for a young QB, not having their head taken off every play is much nicer.

Scott McDaniel seems to be trying to get himself killed before the season even starts in Denver. After having signed Corell Buckhalter, JJ Arrington, and Lamont Jordan in the off-season the Broncos drafted Knowshon Moreno with the 12th pick. At a time when any number of defensive players could have helped the team, they decided to go with one of the easiest positions to fill. With their next pick they selected someone who seems will be out of place in their defensive scheme. Their next pick was on an undersized corner. And they traded next years first, likely a top 10-15 pick, to the Seahawks.

The Iggles selected Jeremy Maclin from Mizzou. This is interesting because Maclin seems to be Desean Jackson pt. 2. It's funny after never getting McNabb anyone to throw to the got him the same thing two years in a row.

Those are just my thoughts people. I sadly doubt I'll be able to do much of a recap on tomorrow's happenings but we'll see.

Fear and Loathing at the NFL Draft

I love the NFL Draft. There is something intriguing about grown men in absurd pin-striped suits that fawn over young men in a manner that brings their sexuality into question. I love the draft day trades and maneuvering to gain better draft position. I enjoy the cold comfort of knowing that Count Al Davis will continue to suck the life out of that franchise by reaching terribly to snag a guy based only on his 40 time or how far he can throw a football his knees-God knows how often that scenario comes up in a game. This is the first look the general sporting populace has to see these players before they are stars or Ryan Leaf style epic busts.

Seahawks' drafts under Tim Ruskell are rarely anything exciting but often are quite solid. Using the methodology of taking the most NFL ready players who are contributors both on and off the field the Seahawks keep the bust rate rather low while sacrificing a bit of upside in the name of security. While the draft so far has followed the same model it has been infinitely more fun to watch.

Given the #4 overall pick after a dismal 4-12 season many people expected the 'Hawks to take a true game changer with their first pick. With Matt Stafford off the board to the Lions-Happy Trails Matt. Hope you enjoy living in a bombed out shell of a city- Many, myself included, hoped Tim Ruskell would pick Mark "Dirty" Sanchez, QB out of USC, as the heir apparent to Matt and his bulging disk. A Offensive Tackle was another area in need of upgrade with Walter Jones' status unclear. Instead the Hawks let a lot of people down by taking arguably the best player in the draft Aaron Curry, LB from Wake Forest.

I'll admit, I wasn't thrilled at first. The more I thought about it, the more I liked this pick. Curry is a versatile player and can do anything asked of him. Yes we unloaded Julian Peterson to the Lions to save ourselves his hefty cap hit and because the talent in the LB corps seemed redundant. Adding Curry moves hill to the weakside where he can use his downhill tackling ability to attack the ball carrier and go for sacks. Curry moves to Hill's spot and provides a headiness in coverage Hill never dreamed of possessing. Given Curry's athleticism it would not surprise me at all if he was sent on the blitz occasionally. His skillset is not unlike what we thought we were getting when we traded for Peterson a few years ago, before it was apparent his coverage skills had eroded.

As I said in an earlier post, a domninant LB probably has the least impact of almost any position on the field. That said talent is talent, and many pundits thought Curry could be the first overall pick and was the best player in the draft. Having Curry also gives the Hawks leverage in their negotiations with Hill. Should Hill persist to feel his $36mil/6 year contract is nothing more than a formal cockpunch, the 'Hawks could easily trade him and still have a damn fine LB corps.

The second round held a lot of promise for Seattle as many of the players that could be brought in and have an immediate impact on the team were still on the board. But no amount of promise or expectation could have prepared me for what came next.

Many fans felt Ruskell should have traded out of the #4 pick and accrued more talent later in the first. When he didn't they gnashed their teeth and howled. With the second pick of the day Timmy heard these cries and traded the #37 pick for a 2010 1st rounder to the Denver Broncos who are in full implode mode after the Cutlerfucker fiasco.

Getting next years first rounder is huge. Denver looks to be pretty terrible and didn't help themselves by drafting Knowshon Moreno at #12, taking a 3-4 OLB with #18 even though I'm pretty sure they still run a 4-3, they then traded up to snag an undersized corner with the Seahawks #37. 3-13 isn't out of the realm of possibility given the Broncos' schedule next season. If this turns out the case the Seahawks could be in a damn good position to draft the QB of the future in next years draft that features Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy.

Seattle traded it's 3rd and 4th rounders to get back in the 2nd round and select Max Unger, C Oregon. Unger looks to be the bizarro Chris Spencer. Where Spencer was monstrously stong, crazy athletic and more raw than 2liveCrew lyrics Unger is not going to blow up anybody with his strength, good in space and is a member of football Mensa. In the zone blocking scheme Seattle is moving towards Max Unger looks to be the galvanizing and forceful leader that will convert this unit of disparate parts into a cohesive unit that will open up lanes for our running game. That is an exciting thought.

It seems Ruskell pulled out his philosopher's stone and transmuted a relatively weak draft class into quality functionable pieces of the future. Getting the Broncos #1 draft pick from next year makes the draft a masterpiece, so far.

The Soft Goodbye

As the world was caught up in the world wind atmosphere of the NFL draft, one team subtly closed the door on the career of arguably the greatest football player of the modern era. While many a draftnik were aware of it, amidst the maelstrom of draft boards, trades, and opines from talking heads it faded off quietly into the spring eve. As it should. As it no doubt was intended.

The Green Bay Packers selected hot shot Brian Brohm in the second round of the 2008 draft. a move that will no doubt spur new found incumbent Aaron Rodgers to new heights. In this sense, it was a wise and bold move. However in the seventh round, over one hundred selections later, the Packers added Matt Flynn, former leader of the LSU squad that won the national championship this year.

Two quarterbacks with potential for success. A declaration so fierce that it rivals the birth of the nation in its magnitude. That statement? Brett Favre will not be affiliated with our active roster ever again.

And it is only fitting. After all, the man did announce his retirement despite having a pro bowl year. Hell, he even took his squad within one series of the Superbowl.

He knew that he had been given a free pass to play for the Packers as long as he saw fit and he simply felt that it was time to move on. For all intents and purposes it was a noble move. It will only add to his epic pedigree.

But then he started to get the itch again. Like all athletes, he found it hard to adjust to life without his sport. He missed to routines. He missed the locker room. The glory. The failings.

Despite claiming to only be interested in spending time with his family and hunting, he simply could not flat out let it go. Perhaps it was that last lame duck interception he threw that doomed his team. Maybe he just needed to know that he physically could not go on any longer.

Whatever Favre's rationale, his comments regarding a possible return to the NFL under the caveat that his protege Rodgers is injured spoke of nothing more than a man who wanted back into the show. After all, with the amount of injuries at the quarterback position, it is all but assured that the Packers would be calling him at some point in the season.

Favre is a legend. Their will never be another like him. He won the public's hearts with his gun slinging bravado. He captured souls with his grit and nerve.

He also...

Handcuffed a franchise for several years through his struggling play, knowing full well that he would never be cut in favor of anyone else.

Played hurt to preserve a streak of consecutive games played, despite at times serving as a detriment to the team.

Complained publicly about front office transgressions, all but asking for a trade.

Threw a former teammate and "good friend" under the bus when he revealed that he was gay.

Abused pain medication.

Threw away games with his callous disdain for risk management.

Sandbagged multiple proteges from having as productive of careers as himself by refusing to step down as the starter.

However when it is all said and done these factors will matter not. Favre will go down in the annals as being the toughest, ballsiest SOB to ever play quarterback and deservedly so. Eventually the league will adjust to life without number four under center. John Madden develop another man crush. Life will go on.

The legend is gone.

And he ain't never coming back.

Welcome to the Seahawks, 2008 Draft Class. Hope You Survive The Experience!

Ever since I was young I've been a comic nerd. I would take my weekly allowance up to the local 7-11, peruse their latest shipment of comics, and, after thorough thumbing through, purchase a couple issues of whatever struck me. This was usually something one of the thousands of X-Men titles or a Spidey book. More often than not the underdog/outcast vibe that ran through the X-books struck a chord. As a half-breed going to a lily white public school in North Seattle I knew all about being different. The X-Men made it cool to be different, to dream about doing, seemingly, impossible acts. My young mind thought of the endless possibilities of eye-popping feats I could perform if I possessed superhuman powers. It was in this vein I was drawn into sports.

Watching impossibly large men performing athletic moves someone half their size would dream of wrapped me up in a sense of awe. Being witness to a 6'10" kid out of high school throw down rim-rattling, baseline dunks from outside the lane over 7 odd foot Goliaths let me believe that men didn't need wings to fly like Angel of the X-Men. Watching Joey Galloway take a simple short route, juke a defender or two and then outrun everyone else to the end zone, or, despite having the defense geared to stop him and the deep ball, beating the corner off the line of scrimmage and then burning the safety deep, had me feeling that man could run like Quicksilver. I remember going to M's games in the 'Dome with my dad. We'd marvel as The Kid hit the ball with Colossus-like strength, launching dingers for, what seemed like, 1,000 ft. For many kids I knew it was always one or the other. You either were a sports nut or you liked comic books, never did they meet. You either proudly rocked a Bone t-shirt or your sheepishly wore a shirt with Wolverine, claws exposed, cutting through the fabric of the shirt. But being part of two distinct and often separate worlds wasn't new to me. Loving both comics and sports seemed perfectly natural, despite the fact that I was the only one I knew who had this disposition.

To this day I get just as excited about seeing the Iron Man movie as I do watching the NBA Finals. Hell, maybe even more. As I've grown and been around sports fanatics and comic geeks alike, I've learned that these, seemingly, disparate groups of people have much more in common than they think. I have a friend who can name notable athletes given just a number. For example I can throw out a number at random, like 24, the names I come up with are pretty easy Champ Bailey and Kobe. This guy would pull out some obscure 4th outfielder for the Oakland A's in the 80's, a running back from the early 90's Houston Oilers, and a one time NBA All-Star who was cut down by injuries. This isn't that much different than my friend who can name what DC comic heroes came from what Pre-Crisis earths. Ultra-Man? Easy, Earth-3. Uncle Sam and The Freedom Fighters? Simple, Earth X. The knowledge level both possess in their respective fields would seem trivial to those on the outside. To the uninformed, these facts that have little relevance in the "real world". But to those who are big fans of comics or football see this knowledge as the ultimate show of commitment to their sport or their comic universe. These are legends whose stories inspired us all at some point during our childhood or even adulthood.

With all that said, I often relate the X-Men's plight of acceptance as one that parallels that of Seattle sports. Underdogs, cast-offs, spectacular performers achievements eclipsed due to the fact they weren't what people considered normal or traditional, these were themes that were ever-present growing up in the sports equivalent of Siberia, as well as the tales of garishly dressed do-gooders. Most recently it has been the Seattle Seahawks attempting to gain mainstream acceptance and meeting heavy resistance along the way. From the 'Hawks years of constantly flirting with greatness but falling short due to some constantly changing flaw, I recalled as the X-Men constantly tried to show the world that mutants were ok only to have a member of The Brotherhood of Evil mutants go and kidnap a senator and fuck their whole shit up.

Then 2005 happened, a perfect storm of a season. The O-Line led by Hutch and Big Walt mowed down opposing defenses, no matter how many were stacked in the box. Matt Hasslebeck overcame his erratic play of the past and was the definition of a West Coast Offense QB. Shaun Alexander used the dominance of his line to make cut back runs and reel off more yards going backside than play-side, zigging and zagging down the field to the red-zone. It was here he went feral and was an unstoppable juggernaut carrying defenders on the way to the end-zone. The Defense led by rookie Lofa Tatupu changed from sieve-like to a rubber band style of bend don't break attitude, and played with a heretofore unseen fire. Much to the national media's surprise the 'Hawks didn't fall to The Mighty Washington Redskins or The Fierce Carolina Panthers, despite being perceived as underdogs in both those play-off match-ups. The Dream of being considered and elite team died in Detroit on Ford Field. Our chance to have all that the team had accomplished over the past years validated with a Super-Bowl win was dashed.

Funny thing was, the events of the 2005 season seemed to be mirrored in an arc written by uber-writer Grant Morrison a few years earlier. The X-Men had done away with the silly, brightly colored costumes of the past and had adopted a more updated biker-style uniform that wouldn't be laughable if worn out in public. The X-Men no longer wanted to hide behind masks and costumes, they wanted the world to accept them as they were, different, but a good kind of different. A different that wished to be accepted by society not just lived in it's own little bubble in society. Eventually the good-will the X-Men have tried to foster is undone when Xorn, one of the teachers at the school, turns out to be arch-enemy Magneto. Magneto then attempts to wipe out all of New York City and create a new mutant utopia in it's place. Needless to say, New Yorkers weren't to pleased with this attempted redesign.


So if the Seahawks are the X-Men, Then Holmgren is Professor Xavier, the mastermind behind the whole team. Without his vision and planning the team would cease to exist. It is under his tutelage that the Seahawks learn to function smoothly as a team.Matt Hasslebeck is a much less grim and stiff Cyclops. If Cyclops were bald and had a penchant for self-deprecating jokes, he would be a dead ringer for Hass, leadership abilities and all. Big Walt would have to be Jean Grey "Phoenix", just as Phoenix is the most powerful of the X-Men so Walt is the most powerful Seahawk. Just as Phoenix provides Cyclops with stability and both physical and emotional security, Walt does the same for Matt. Keeping anyone one with the intention of hurting Matt pancaked into the ground. That means that this new draft class are like The New Mutants, a group of supremely talented individuals looking to make an impact in the majors, provided they live through the experience. So without further ado here are my thoughts on the 2008 New Mutants.

1st rd. #28 Lawrence Jackson. This guy comes pre-packaged with a cool nickname "Lo-Jack". At first I was baffled by this pick. The 'Hawks desperately needed a tight end, as the departure of Jerramy Stevens and acquisition of Marcus Pollard hadn't worked like planned and the #1 rated tight-end was available at this spot. I even thought that the hawks might take DT Kentwaan Ballmer out of UNC with this pick to add depth to out DT rotation but they didn't do that either. Lo-Jack seemed redundant with the semi-emergence of Darryl Tapp and the rejuvenation of Patrick Kerney. But he was the highest ranked player on the Hawks board so they snagged him in hopes of rotating him with the other two defensive ends so they would have fresh legs at the end of the game. And I get this, the 'Hawks saw what a fearsome and fresh line can do in the Super Bowl where New York's line, kept rested with healthy rotation, dominated the New England Patriots. In reality the entire defensive line deserved Super Bowl MVP, not Ellie May, despite his heroics. I think that at 6'4" 271 lbs Lo-Jack can add versatility to an already athletic line. He's big enough that, on passing downs, he could be used as a pass-rushing DT, a la Justin Tuck of the Giants. Plus the fact that he was a 4 year starter at a big time program and was regarded highly on his character, it's almost a no-brainer The 'Hawks took him.

rd.2 #38 The Hawks traded their 3rd pick to move up in the second round and and select Tight End John Carlson of Notre Dame. Same deal goes for Carlson as it does with Jackson, big time program, 4 year starter, high character guy, NFL ready. He was the reason the Hawks skipped on a TE with their first pick. On their Draft Board they had him ranked above all the other tight-ends. His measurables may not stack up compared to come of the other TE's taken in the draft but the fact that he had proven himself on the field made him far more valuable to the Seahawks than some of the other options at Tight End. At 6'5" and 248lbs I think Carlson will come in and provide instant production from a position that is an integral part of what the West Coast Offense tries to do in both blocking, route running, and pass catching which is more than anyone can say for Marcus Pollard.

rd.4 #121 Red Bryantt, DT, Texas A&M. Seems like another DT value pick, akin to last years 4th round selection of Brandon Mebane out of Cal. Standing 6'4" and weighing a hefty 318lbs, Bryantt seems like he could be the nose man the Hawks D-Line has desperately needed especially with the constant injuries to former 1st rounder Marcus Tubbs.

rd.5 #163 Owen Schmitt, FB, West Virginia. Ever since I saw a comic strip about this guy a few years ago in the ESPN the magazine I've been a huge fan. His crushing blocks and bull dozing runs were one of the reasons I came to really like WVU over these past few years. The man only had 4 rushes for a loss during his entire college career, during which time he busted 10 opposing player's face masks. Some have said this tackled-for-loss stat is skewed due to the fact WVU runs a spread-option system whose match-ups make it very difficult to stack the box against. This may be true but if you ever watched him play in person you know that the man is just a beast and even running in a normal system would have been taken down behind the line only a handful of times. I mean the man is 6'2" 247lbs, that's a fucking load! Plus every one who has every followed WVU football has taken the time to post on the Seahawks.net about how much they love this kid and what a nasty streak he brings when he plays, something the 'Hawks O could use. This kind of out-pouring of support isn't something that happens for every player I assure you.

rd.6 #189 Schmitt, again. This time it's Tyler Schmitt long-snapper from San Diego State. Some people questioned the logic of taking a long-snapper in the 6th round when they are normally picked up as un-drafted free-agents after the draft. But anyone who watched the 'Hawks vs. Saints game last year knows just exactly how important a long-snapper can be.

rd.7 233 Justin Forsett, RB, Cal. Being a UW Husky fan I've been privy to some memorable running back performances. Whenever I saw Forsett I liked the toughness with which he ran. He was never the biggest guy on the field, he's 5'8", 194lbs, but he didn't shy away from lowering his shoulder to gain extra yardage. He's not the best example of straight line speed but his quickness in and out of the holes opened by the line is very impressive. He's also a solid blocker and has nice hands for an RB. I'm not sure this is going to be enough to help him make the team given our crowded backfield. But perhaps he'll be a special team performer this year and then step into Mo-Mo's role next year when Mo is a free agent and turns the dreaded 30.

rd.7 235 Brandon Coutu, K, Georgia. It was a given that, at some point in the draft, the 'Hawks were gonna take a kicker. Josh Brown became like a bad plate of Eggs Benedict and turned traitor on us, signing with the Rams. Olindo Mare, his replacement, is older and coming off a leg injury. So it figured we would grab a kicker to challenge Olindo for the starting spot. I just didn't foresee they'd take a kicker with a history of leg issues. The little I have read about this guy scares me. He seems injury prone, especially his legs seems to be a problem. Here's hoping those issues are in the past and he's ready to contribute to this team right away.

So that's this years class of New Mutants. Over training camp and pre-season we will see how prepared each one is ready to step-up and fill a role on our X-Men. Who'll be the next Cannonball, New Mutant standout turned X-Man, turned team leader of X-Force? Who will be the next Cipher? The mutant with the ability to translate any language, who was mercifully killed due to his rather lame power. Only time will tell. Until then, Welcome to The Seahawks, 2008 Draft Class. Hope you survive the experience!