"I'm not dead yet!" "We'll see about that!"The Mariners managed to find a new way to lose today, as the rest of the division won their games. I have admit, I'm afraid I may be behind this disastrous collapse that has seen the M's go from 15-10 to 16-18. My negligence has caused this team to falter.
You see, before the season started I extolled the virtues of the new look M's to anyone who would listen. I told them our new GM knew what the fuck he was doing and that, while certain players leftover from the old regime hamstrung his ability to compile an optimal roster, he had built a team that could compete today that also was not in the hole to anyone in the future. Once the season started and The M's started winning I listened to every game on the radio or caught an occasional game on the TV. I blogged the hell out of this team to start the season. I told my readers that there was every reason to be optimistic. Then, like a parent lets go of their child and the bike as momentum takes over, I stopped paying as much attention to the team.
I figured I could trust the team to do well without me as I focused on school and getting laid. How selfish of me. To attract my attention again The M's knew all they'd have to do is revert to what had me watching them the past few years. If they played terribly I would come back. It's just like when a child holds its breath to get a parents attention or that psycho girl you're dating who threatens to hurt herself if you leave. I know in both cases ignoring the problem normally causes it to go away. And when Erik Bedard broke the losing streak two games ago I thought my plan had worked. Little did I know.
Truthfully I'm rather glad I haven't been able to watch this team implode. Just listening to Dave Neihaus describe two straight batters take a walk from a pitcher struggling with his command and then hear him tell me that Yuniesky Betancourt swung into a double play on the first pitch is maddening enough. I can't imagine seeing the pitch location would do anything but infuriate me more. Same goes with Felix starting off the game with 25 of 27 pitches being fastballs. I think I would punch something if I had to witness one of the many casual errors commited by Yuni or Lopez. I might have gouged out my eyes Oepdipus style if I had to witness this teams offense get dismembered by the Unicron of terrible right-handed groundball pitchers like Vincente Padilla, Bartolo Colon, Scott Feldman and others.
I believed contention this year, damn it! I don't buy into the idea that these are our Mariners and they will always be hapless losers. I won't be a shell-shocked fan constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I believe in what Zduriencik is building with this team. But damn if this skid isn't awfully familiar.
This extended slide has put us in a very precarious situation. If one was a terrible writer really reaching for an analogy they might compare this to hanging off a cliff from a vine with a tiger above and a tiger below. But that's some wussy arsty fartsy bullshit we here at NLS won't stand for. 3 1/2 games out isn't a terrible amount to be out this early in the season. At the same time the premise of contention for the M's this year was to grab the division lead and never let go. Just like the offense this team is not built to come from behind.
No one wants to admit this team's season is done before June. But the sad reality is it very well might be. Even if the season is not over yet Zdruriencik faces the uneviable decision of whether or not to become a tenement finisher and gut this team of all or most of it's valuable pieces. This move would be tantamount to waving a white flag and declaring the season dead. The casual fan would hate it if this were to happen but smart fans know that the M's farm system is more of a barren wasteland than Super-Nanny's womb and top flight prospects would help ensure this team could remain competitive years from now. Selling off players like Bedard, Washburn, Beltre and maybe even Felix or Ichiro would be a necesary evil like taking the fat girl home so yer buddy can bang her hot friend.
These next few games will be hyper-critical in determining the M's fate for the rest of the year. If I pay attention will they stop making idle threats and no longer hurt themselves or will I regret the decision when I watch them unravel. Only one way to find out. Ok, Mariners, I'll play your little game now quite fucking around and win something!!!!
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