The life of a sports fan is one rife with criticism. We all believe that we are capable of running a spread offense in college. We watch Sportscenter highlights and complain about isolation defensive formations called out by coaches.
We think we know everything that is sport. In no other sense does this bode true than when it comes to front office transactions. If we can log into the ESPN trade ticker and deal Brandon Roy, Jarrett Jack, and a first round pick for LeBron James, then we find it inexcusable for Portland's GM to not pull the trigger on such a deal.
Find that hard to comprehend? How about Randy Moss to the Patriots for a fourth round draft pick.
Above all others I am guilty of said fallacy. I am the guy who will purchase John Madden football, only to simulate through an entire season just to play out the off season draft. In NBA 2K6, I prided myself on making the Sonics a perennial contender in just two seasons. Hell, I remember in MVP Baseball 2005, I finagled a way to get Ichiro onto the Red Sox for Trot Nixon and two fictional prospects.
Of course I understand that the transactions I make would never happen in real life. I also know that external factors such as player egos, fan base, and stifling owners can alter the decisions made by General Managers in all sports.
Still I will forever be critical of General Managers, as is in my nature as a sports fan. As such, for the sake of argument, here are some philosophies that I would abide by if I were a GM in each of the respective three major sports, (because I refuse to acknowledge the NHL until Gary Betteman is no more).
The Tao of Baseball
1. Unless a can't miss prospect is available, all picks should be dedicated solely to pitching
This sounds ridiculous, but makes sense when one looks at what teams look for when making trades. Nearly every major trade involves at least one pitching prospect.
Pitchers are the ultimate wild card in baseball, as the risk reward ratio is immeasurable. For every Felix Rodriguez, their are at least five Ryan Anderson's. This being said, by loading up on pitching talent, one is afforded the liberty of picking up solidified position players through trades.
Furthermore, established pitchers can be dealt away before they wear down or command ridiculous salaries. This is the philosophy that Oakland have followed for years and yet they always remain relatively competitive, despite a minimum payroll.
2. Base running and defense are paramount in winning championships.
The Red Sox do not win the 2004 World Series without Dave Roberts. The 2001 Florida Marlins beat out the Yankees not through power, but through a roster of some of the better defenders ever assembled.
Small ball is a dying facet in baseball, due to fan's infatuations with the home run. While power is important, a reliance on it rarely amounts to championships. Think of it like the three pointer in basketball: Teams live by it and die by it. If this years Detroit Tigers are not homering every inning, they are not winning games. Thus their poor start before noted speedster and defensive boon Curtis Granderson came back.
The Mariners set the record in the late 90's for most home runs in a season. And yet the team that won 116 games was built around smart base running and defense. With the ability to call the hit and run at any time, former role players such as Brett Boone and Mike Cameron became power houses, due to facing a multitude of rattled pitchers.
Speed aides defense through increased range. Increased range improves a team's pitching, as the risks presented by balls put into play are reduced. If a pitcher feels that they can rely on their field to produce outs, they can focus less on strikeouts and more on pitch location.
Their is a reason that washouts like Freddy Garcia, John Halama, and Joel Pinero were effective for that miracle stretch.
The enlightened view of Football
1. If looking for immediate returns draft defense.
The NFL defense is typically less complex than offense. Quite simply, a players instincts and athletic ability can bail them out of compromising positions much easier on this end. A missed coverage assignment might cost a team a game. A missed blocking assignment could cost a team the franchise quarterback.
Offensive players are the sexy picks, but experience the best success when groomed to gel within a respective scheme. Tom Brady. Priest Holmes. Steve McNair. Shaun Alexander. All former MVP's who were brought along slowly within a system.
Quarterback Matt Ryan was drafted by the Falcons for obvious political reasons in the recent draft. I promise you that if replacing the face of the franchise was not the mission and becoming competitive this year was, then Glenn Dorsey is selected in his place.
2. Every quarterback should sit out there rookie year. No matter what.
This philosophy is hard to abide by, as oftentimes a respective fan base will not tolerate it. However in order to allow a quarterback a chance for true success, then they must know the full array of a teams playbook.
Trent Edwards was an effective starter in his rookie year last year. However his role was also reduced to essentially running a mistake free offense. This was very similar to the system that Rex Grossman ran when he led the Bears to the Superbowl, or the one his backup Kyle Orton used to win ten game in a row the year before.
Mistake free play may give a team a chance to win with defense and a run game, but diminishes confidence in the signal caller. David Carr. Akili Smith. Tim Couch. Three quarterbacks expected to leap into the starters role, only to flame out shortly thereafter as a result of excessive pressure. Pressure brought upon by trying to win a modern war with an axe and shield.
The Basketball path to order
1. Swing men make great trade bait.
Basketball in the modern era is ripe with swing players who truly do not hold any singular position. Starting prominently with Magic Johnson, the philosophy is that the best player should have the ball in hand as often as possible. While their are a handful of players in the league who thrive in this system (LeBron James, Dywane Wade, Tracy McGrady) for the most part all that this does is eliminate the team dynamic on the court.
The best teams in basketball thrive on synergy. However the best players coming out of college are oftentimes the ones who took initiative to stand out from the pack. The easiest manner of doing so? Becoming a swing man.
Being the most athletic players on the court in addition to being the most alpha, swing men make for tantalizing trade bait. Of any other position, they are the most likely to go off for a triple double in a spot start and are always the most marketable. Stockpiling this commodity in the draft assures that a team has young talent that can be dealt for established position players who better fit a coach's schema.
2. Never take a risk on bigs.
Basketball and pro wrestling are the only two forms of sport in which an enigma will be offered a seven figure contract solely on the basis that they stand over seven feet tall. Rarely do these investments pay dividends.
While height obviously aides a basketball player, the ebb and flow of the game is not designed for someone of massive proportions. Anybody over seven foot two is destined to face lingering injury problems, as the body simply cannot keep up with the rigors of constantly running and jumping.
Furthermore, the physical nature of the inside game can age a man overnight. Being pounded at the boards and posted under the basket for eighty two games out of a year is nothing more than the modern day gauntlet.
A big is necessary for success in the league, but rarely worth gambling on. Instead all efforts should be made to ascertain established ones either through free agency and or trades. Imagine the Celtics this year with Spencer Hawes in the middle instead of KG... Could have been a distinct possibility if they had wanted to take thier chances on a big in the draft, rather than going for broke.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Welcome to the Seahawks, 2008 Draft Class. Hope You Survive The Experience!
Ever since I was young I've been a comic nerd. I would take my weekly allowance up to the local 7-11, peruse their latest shipment of comics, and, after thorough thumbing through, purchase a couple issues of whatever struck me. This was usually something one of the thousands of X-Men titles or a Spidey book. More often than not the underdog/outcast vibe that ran through the X-books struck a chord. As a half-breed going to a lily white public school in North Seattle I knew all about being different. The X-Men made it cool to be different, to dream about doing, seemingly, impossible acts. My young mind thought of the endless possibilities of eye-popping feats I could perform if I possessed superhuman powers. It was in this vein I was drawn into sports.
Watching impossibly large men performing athletic moves someone half their size would dream of wrapped me up in a sense of awe. Being witness to a 6'10" kid out of high school throw down rim-rattling, baseline dunks from outside the lane over 7 odd foot Goliaths let me believe that men didn't need wings to fly like Angel of the X-Men. Watching Joey Galloway take a simple short route, juke a defender or two and then outrun everyone else to the end zone, or, despite having the defense geared to stop him and the deep ball, beating the corner off the line of scrimmage and then burning the safety deep, had me feeling that man could run like Quicksilver. I remember going to M's games in the 'Dome with my dad. We'd marvel as The Kid hit the ball with Colossus-like strength, launching dingers for, what seemed like, 1,000 ft. For many kids I knew it was always one or the other. You either were a sports nut or you liked comic books, never did they meet. You either proudly rocked a Bone t-shirt or your sheepishly wore a shirt with Wolverine, claws exposed, cutting through the fabric of the shirt. But being part of two distinct and often separate worlds wasn't new to me. Loving both comics and sports seemed perfectly natural, despite the fact that I was the only one I knew who had this disposition.
To this day I get just as excited about seeing the Iron Man movie as I do watching the NBA Finals. Hell, maybe even more. As I've grown and been around sports fanatics and comic geeks alike, I've learned that these, seemingly, disparate groups of people have much more in common than they think. I have a friend who can name notable athletes given just a number. For example I can throw out a number at random, like 24, the names I come up with are pretty easy Champ Bailey and Kobe. This guy would pull out some obscure 4th outfielder for the Oakland A's in the 80's, a running back from the early 90's Houston Oilers, and a one time NBA All-Star who was cut down by injuries. This isn't that much different than my friend who can name what DC comic heroes came from what Pre-Crisis earths. Ultra-Man? Easy, Earth-3. Uncle Sam and The Freedom Fighters? Simple, Earth X. The knowledge level both possess in their respective fields would seem trivial to those on the outside. To the uninformed, these facts that have little relevance in the "real world". But to those who are big fans of comics or football see this knowledge as the ultimate show of commitment to their sport or their comic universe. These are legends whose stories inspired us all at some point during our childhood or even adulthood.
With all that said, I often relate the X-Men's plight of acceptance as one that parallels that of Seattle sports. Underdogs, cast-offs, spectacular performers achievements eclipsed due to the fact they weren't what people considered normal or traditional, these were themes that were ever-present growing up in the sports equivalent of Siberia, as well as the tales of garishly dressed do-gooders. Most recently it has been the Seattle Seahawks attempting to gain mainstream acceptance and meeting heavy resistance along the way. From the 'Hawks years of constantly flirting with greatness but falling short due to some constantly changing flaw, I recalled as the X-Men constantly tried to show the world that mutants were ok only to have a member of The Brotherhood of Evil mutants go and kidnap a senator and fuck their whole shit up.
Then 2005 happened, a perfect storm of a season. The O-Line led by Hutch and Big Walt mowed down opposing defenses, no matter how many were stacked in the box. Matt Hasslebeck overcame his erratic play of the past and was the definition of a West Coast Offense QB. Shaun Alexander used the dominance of his line to make cut back runs and reel off more yards going backside than play-side, zigging and zagging down the field to the red-zone. It was here he went feral and was an unstoppable juggernaut carrying defenders on the way to the end-zone. The Defense led by rookie Lofa Tatupu changed from sieve-like to a rubber band style of bend don't break attitude, and played with a heretofore unseen fire. Much to the national media's surprise the 'Hawks didn't fall to The Mighty Washington Redskins or The Fierce Carolina Panthers, despite being perceived as underdogs in both those play-off match-ups. The Dream of being considered and elite team died in Detroit on Ford Field. Our chance to have all that the team had accomplished over the past years validated with a Super-Bowl win was dashed.
Funny thing was, the events of the 2005 season seemed to be mirrored in an arc written by uber-writer Grant Morrison a few years earlier. The X-Men had done away with the silly, brightly colored costumes of the past and had adopted a more updated biker-style uniform that wouldn't be laughable if worn out in public. The X-Men no longer wanted to hide behind masks and costumes, they wanted the world to accept them as they were, different, but a good kind of different. A different that wished to be accepted by society not just lived in it's own little bubble in society. Eventually the good-will the X-Men have tried to foster is undone when Xorn, one of the teachers at the school, turns out to be arch-enemy Magneto. Magneto then attempts to wipe out all of New York City and create a new mutant utopia in it's place. Needless to say, New Yorkers weren't to pleased with this attempted redesign.
So if the Seahawks are the X-Men, Then Holmgren is Professor Xavier, the mastermind behind the whole team. Without his vision and planning the team would cease to exist. It is under his tutelage that the Seahawks learn to function smoothly as a team.Matt Hasslebeck is a much less grim and stiff Cyclops. If Cyclops were bald and had a penchant for self-deprecating jokes, he would be a dead ringer for Hass, leadership abilities and all. Big Walt would have to be Jean Grey "Phoenix", just as Phoenix is the most powerful of the X-Men so Walt is the most powerful Seahawk. Just as Phoenix provides Cyclops with stability and both physical and emotional security, Walt does the same for Matt. Keeping anyone one with the intention of hurting Matt pancaked into the ground. That means that this new draft class are like The New Mutants, a group of supremely talented individuals looking to make an impact in the majors, provided they live through the experience. So without further ado here are my thoughts on the 2008 New Mutants.
1st rd. #28 Lawrence Jackson. This guy comes pre-packaged with a cool nickname "Lo-Jack". At first I was baffled by this pick. The 'Hawks desperately needed a tight end, as the departure of Jerramy Stevens and acquisition of Marcus Pollard hadn't worked like planned and the #1 rated tight-end was available at this spot. I even thought that the hawks might take DT Kentwaan Ballmer out of UNC with this pick to add depth to out DT rotation but they didn't do that either. Lo-Jack seemed redundant with the semi-emergence of Darryl Tapp and the rejuvenation of Patrick Kerney. But he was the highest ranked player on the Hawks board so they snagged him in hopes of rotating him with the other two defensive ends so they would have fresh legs at the end of the game. And I get this, the 'Hawks saw what a fearsome and fresh line can do in the Super Bowl where New York's line, kept rested with healthy rotation, dominated the New England Patriots. In reality the entire defensive line deserved Super Bowl MVP, not Ellie May, despite his heroics. I think that at 6'4" 271 lbs Lo-Jack can add versatility to an already athletic line. He's big enough that, on passing downs, he could be used as a pass-rushing DT, a la Justin Tuck of the Giants. Plus the fact that he was a 4 year starter at a big time program and was regarded highly on his character, it's almost a no-brainer The 'Hawks took him.
rd.2 #38 The Hawks traded their 3rd pick to move up in the second round and and select Tight End John Carlson of Notre Dame. Same deal goes for Carlson as it does with Jackson, big time program, 4 year starter, high character guy, NFL ready. He was the reason the Hawks skipped on a TE with their first pick. On their Draft Board they had him ranked above all the other tight-ends. His measurables may not stack up compared to come of the other TE's taken in the draft but the fact that he had proven himself on the field made him far more valuable to the Seahawks than some of the other options at Tight End. At 6'5" and 248lbs I think Carlson will come in and provide instant production from a position that is an integral part of what the West Coast Offense tries to do in both blocking, route running, and pass catching which is more than anyone can say for Marcus Pollard.
rd.4 #121 Red Bryantt, DT, Texas A&M. Seems like another DT value pick, akin to last years 4th round selection of Brandon Mebane out of Cal. Standing 6'4" and weighing a hefty 318lbs, Bryantt seems like he could be the nose man the Hawks D-Line has desperately needed especially with the constant injuries to former 1st rounder Marcus Tubbs.
rd.5 #163 Owen Schmitt, FB, West Virginia. Ever since I saw a comic strip about this guy a few years ago in the ESPN the magazine I've been a huge fan. His crushing blocks and bull dozing runs were one of the reasons I came to really like WVU over these past few years. The man only had 4 rushes for a loss during his entire college career, during which time he busted 10 opposing player's face masks. Some have said this tackled-for-loss stat is skewed due to the fact WVU runs a spread-option system whose match-ups make it very difficult to stack the box against. This may be true but if you ever watched him play in person you know that the man is just a beast and even running in a normal system would have been taken down behind the line only a handful of times. I mean the man is 6'2" 247lbs, that's a fucking load! Plus every one who has every followed WVU football has taken the time to post on the Seahawks.net about how much they love this kid and what a nasty streak he brings when he plays, something the 'Hawks O could use. This kind of out-pouring of support isn't something that happens for every player I assure you.
rd.6 #189 Schmitt, again. This time it's Tyler Schmitt long-snapper from San Diego State. Some people questioned the logic of taking a long-snapper in the 6th round when they are normally picked up as un-drafted free-agents after the draft. But anyone who watched the 'Hawks vs. Saints game last year knows just exactly how important a long-snapper can be.
rd.7 233 Justin Forsett, RB, Cal. Being a UW Husky fan I've been privy to some memorable running back performances. Whenever I saw Forsett I liked the toughness with which he ran. He was never the biggest guy on the field, he's 5'8", 194lbs, but he didn't shy away from lowering his shoulder to gain extra yardage. He's not the best example of straight line speed but his quickness in and out of the holes opened by the line is very impressive. He's also a solid blocker and has nice hands for an RB. I'm not sure this is going to be enough to help him make the team given our crowded backfield. But perhaps he'll be a special team performer this year and then step into Mo-Mo's role next year when Mo is a free agent and turns the dreaded 30.
rd.7 235 Brandon Coutu, K, Georgia. It was a given that, at some point in the draft, the 'Hawks were gonna take a kicker. Josh Brown became like a bad plate of Eggs Benedict and turned traitor on us, signing with the Rams. Olindo Mare, his replacement, is older and coming off a leg injury. So it figured we would grab a kicker to challenge Olindo for the starting spot. I just didn't foresee they'd take a kicker with a history of leg issues. The little I have read about this guy scares me. He seems injury prone, especially his legs seems to be a problem. Here's hoping those issues are in the past and he's ready to contribute to this team right away.
So that's this years class of New Mutants. Over training camp and pre-season we will see how prepared each one is ready to step-up and fill a role on our X-Men. Who'll be the next Cannonball, New Mutant standout turned X-Man, turned team leader of X-Force? Who will be the next Cipher? The mutant with the ability to translate any language, who was mercifully killed due to his rather lame power. Only time will tell. Until then, Welcome to The Seahawks, 2008 Draft Class. Hope you survive the experience!
Watching impossibly large men performing athletic moves someone half their size would dream of wrapped me up in a sense of awe. Being witness to a 6'10" kid out of high school throw down rim-rattling, baseline dunks from outside the lane over 7 odd foot Goliaths let me believe that men didn't need wings to fly like Angel of the X-Men. Watching Joey Galloway take a simple short route, juke a defender or two and then outrun everyone else to the end zone, or, despite having the defense geared to stop him and the deep ball, beating the corner off the line of scrimmage and then burning the safety deep, had me feeling that man could run like Quicksilver. I remember going to M's games in the 'Dome with my dad. We'd marvel as The Kid hit the ball with Colossus-like strength, launching dingers for, what seemed like, 1,000 ft. For many kids I knew it was always one or the other. You either were a sports nut or you liked comic books, never did they meet. You either proudly rocked a Bone t-shirt or your sheepishly wore a shirt with Wolverine, claws exposed, cutting through the fabric of the shirt. But being part of two distinct and often separate worlds wasn't new to me. Loving both comics and sports seemed perfectly natural, despite the fact that I was the only one I knew who had this disposition.
To this day I get just as excited about seeing the Iron Man movie as I do watching the NBA Finals. Hell, maybe even more. As I've grown and been around sports fanatics and comic geeks alike, I've learned that these, seemingly, disparate groups of people have much more in common than they think. I have a friend who can name notable athletes given just a number. For example I can throw out a number at random, like 24, the names I come up with are pretty easy Champ Bailey and Kobe. This guy would pull out some obscure 4th outfielder for the Oakland A's in the 80's, a running back from the early 90's Houston Oilers, and a one time NBA All-Star who was cut down by injuries. This isn't that much different than my friend who can name what DC comic heroes came from what Pre-Crisis earths. Ultra-Man? Easy, Earth-3. Uncle Sam and The Freedom Fighters? Simple, Earth X. The knowledge level both possess in their respective fields would seem trivial to those on the outside. To the uninformed, these facts that have little relevance in the "real world". But to those who are big fans of comics or football see this knowledge as the ultimate show of commitment to their sport or their comic universe. These are legends whose stories inspired us all at some point during our childhood or even adulthood.
With all that said, I often relate the X-Men's plight of acceptance as one that parallels that of Seattle sports. Underdogs, cast-offs, spectacular performers achievements eclipsed due to the fact they weren't what people considered normal or traditional, these were themes that were ever-present growing up in the sports equivalent of Siberia, as well as the tales of garishly dressed do-gooders. Most recently it has been the Seattle Seahawks attempting to gain mainstream acceptance and meeting heavy resistance along the way. From the 'Hawks years of constantly flirting with greatness but falling short due to some constantly changing flaw, I recalled as the X-Men constantly tried to show the world that mutants were ok only to have a member of The Brotherhood of Evil mutants go and kidnap a senator and fuck their whole shit up.
Then 2005 happened, a perfect storm of a season. The O-Line led by Hutch and Big Walt mowed down opposing defenses, no matter how many were stacked in the box. Matt Hasslebeck overcame his erratic play of the past and was the definition of a West Coast Offense QB. Shaun Alexander used the dominance of his line to make cut back runs and reel off more yards going backside than play-side, zigging and zagging down the field to the red-zone. It was here he went feral and was an unstoppable juggernaut carrying defenders on the way to the end-zone. The Defense led by rookie Lofa Tatupu changed from sieve-like to a rubber band style of bend don't break attitude, and played with a heretofore unseen fire. Much to the national media's surprise the 'Hawks didn't fall to The Mighty Washington Redskins or The Fierce Carolina Panthers, despite being perceived as underdogs in both those play-off match-ups. The Dream of being considered and elite team died in Detroit on Ford Field. Our chance to have all that the team had accomplished over the past years validated with a Super-Bowl win was dashed.
Funny thing was, the events of the 2005 season seemed to be mirrored in an arc written by uber-writer Grant Morrison a few years earlier. The X-Men had done away with the silly, brightly colored costumes of the past and had adopted a more updated biker-style uniform that wouldn't be laughable if worn out in public. The X-Men no longer wanted to hide behind masks and costumes, they wanted the world to accept them as they were, different, but a good kind of different. A different that wished to be accepted by society not just lived in it's own little bubble in society. Eventually the good-will the X-Men have tried to foster is undone when Xorn, one of the teachers at the school, turns out to be arch-enemy Magneto. Magneto then attempts to wipe out all of New York City and create a new mutant utopia in it's place. Needless to say, New Yorkers weren't to pleased with this attempted redesign.
So if the Seahawks are the X-Men, Then Holmgren is Professor Xavier, the mastermind behind the whole team. Without his vision and planning the team would cease to exist. It is under his tutelage that the Seahawks learn to function smoothly as a team.Matt Hasslebeck is a much less grim and stiff Cyclops. If Cyclops were bald and had a penchant for self-deprecating jokes, he would be a dead ringer for Hass, leadership abilities and all. Big Walt would have to be Jean Grey "Phoenix", just as Phoenix is the most powerful of the X-Men so Walt is the most powerful Seahawk. Just as Phoenix provides Cyclops with stability and both physical and emotional security, Walt does the same for Matt. Keeping anyone one with the intention of hurting Matt pancaked into the ground. That means that this new draft class are like The New Mutants, a group of supremely talented individuals looking to make an impact in the majors, provided they live through the experience. So without further ado here are my thoughts on the 2008 New Mutants.
1st rd. #28 Lawrence Jackson. This guy comes pre-packaged with a cool nickname "Lo-Jack". At first I was baffled by this pick. The 'Hawks desperately needed a tight end, as the departure of Jerramy Stevens and acquisition of Marcus Pollard hadn't worked like planned and the #1 rated tight-end was available at this spot. I even thought that the hawks might take DT Kentwaan Ballmer out of UNC with this pick to add depth to out DT rotation but they didn't do that either. Lo-Jack seemed redundant with the semi-emergence of Darryl Tapp and the rejuvenation of Patrick Kerney. But he was the highest ranked player on the Hawks board so they snagged him in hopes of rotating him with the other two defensive ends so they would have fresh legs at the end of the game. And I get this, the 'Hawks saw what a fearsome and fresh line can do in the Super Bowl where New York's line, kept rested with healthy rotation, dominated the New England Patriots. In reality the entire defensive line deserved Super Bowl MVP, not Ellie May, despite his heroics. I think that at 6'4" 271 lbs Lo-Jack can add versatility to an already athletic line. He's big enough that, on passing downs, he could be used as a pass-rushing DT, a la Justin Tuck of the Giants. Plus the fact that he was a 4 year starter at a big time program and was regarded highly on his character, it's almost a no-brainer The 'Hawks took him.
rd.2 #38 The Hawks traded their 3rd pick to move up in the second round and and select Tight End John Carlson of Notre Dame. Same deal goes for Carlson as it does with Jackson, big time program, 4 year starter, high character guy, NFL ready. He was the reason the Hawks skipped on a TE with their first pick. On their Draft Board they had him ranked above all the other tight-ends. His measurables may not stack up compared to come of the other TE's taken in the draft but the fact that he had proven himself on the field made him far more valuable to the Seahawks than some of the other options at Tight End. At 6'5" and 248lbs I think Carlson will come in and provide instant production from a position that is an integral part of what the West Coast Offense tries to do in both blocking, route running, and pass catching which is more than anyone can say for Marcus Pollard.
rd.4 #121 Red Bryantt, DT, Texas A&M. Seems like another DT value pick, akin to last years 4th round selection of Brandon Mebane out of Cal. Standing 6'4" and weighing a hefty 318lbs, Bryantt seems like he could be the nose man the Hawks D-Line has desperately needed especially with the constant injuries to former 1st rounder Marcus Tubbs.
rd.5 #163 Owen Schmitt, FB, West Virginia. Ever since I saw a comic strip about this guy a few years ago in the ESPN the magazine I've been a huge fan. His crushing blocks and bull dozing runs were one of the reasons I came to really like WVU over these past few years. The man only had 4 rushes for a loss during his entire college career, during which time he busted 10 opposing player's face masks. Some have said this tackled-for-loss stat is skewed due to the fact WVU runs a spread-option system whose match-ups make it very difficult to stack the box against. This may be true but if you ever watched him play in person you know that the man is just a beast and even running in a normal system would have been taken down behind the line only a handful of times. I mean the man is 6'2" 247lbs, that's a fucking load! Plus every one who has every followed WVU football has taken the time to post on the Seahawks.net about how much they love this kid and what a nasty streak he brings when he plays, something the 'Hawks O could use. This kind of out-pouring of support isn't something that happens for every player I assure you.
rd.6 #189 Schmitt, again. This time it's Tyler Schmitt long-snapper from San Diego State. Some people questioned the logic of taking a long-snapper in the 6th round when they are normally picked up as un-drafted free-agents after the draft. But anyone who watched the 'Hawks vs. Saints game last year knows just exactly how important a long-snapper can be.
rd.7 233 Justin Forsett, RB, Cal. Being a UW Husky fan I've been privy to some memorable running back performances. Whenever I saw Forsett I liked the toughness with which he ran. He was never the biggest guy on the field, he's 5'8", 194lbs, but he didn't shy away from lowering his shoulder to gain extra yardage. He's not the best example of straight line speed but his quickness in and out of the holes opened by the line is very impressive. He's also a solid blocker and has nice hands for an RB. I'm not sure this is going to be enough to help him make the team given our crowded backfield. But perhaps he'll be a special team performer this year and then step into Mo-Mo's role next year when Mo is a free agent and turns the dreaded 30.
rd.7 235 Brandon Coutu, K, Georgia. It was a given that, at some point in the draft, the 'Hawks were gonna take a kicker. Josh Brown became like a bad plate of Eggs Benedict and turned traitor on us, signing with the Rams. Olindo Mare, his replacement, is older and coming off a leg injury. So it figured we would grab a kicker to challenge Olindo for the starting spot. I just didn't foresee they'd take a kicker with a history of leg issues. The little I have read about this guy scares me. He seems injury prone, especially his legs seems to be a problem. Here's hoping those issues are in the past and he's ready to contribute to this team right away.
So that's this years class of New Mutants. Over training camp and pre-season we will see how prepared each one is ready to step-up and fill a role on our X-Men. Who'll be the next Cannonball, New Mutant standout turned X-Man, turned team leader of X-Force? Who will be the next Cipher? The mutant with the ability to translate any language, who was mercifully killed due to his rather lame power. Only time will tell. Until then, Welcome to The Seahawks, 2008 Draft Class. Hope you survive the experience!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
If At First You Don't Succeed... Blow the Damned Thing Up
"This town needs an enema!"
Scour through the vast expanses of timeless Jack Nicholson quotes and one imminently arrives at this gem from the 1989 film "Batman."
Simple but poignant. Powerful with a hint malaise. Tacky and yet unrefined.
Metaphors typically used to describe the five alarm hot wings at Hooters manage to also summarize the sentiments of Jack's portrayal of the Joker. His is a character that views the world in black and white. He does not settle for grey. And in order to sway the balance to whichever way he chooses, he is willing to do whatever it takes to ensure his visions ultimate success.
On the eve of the NFL draft we are beginning to see teams abide by this philosophy already. Kansas City traded away star defensive end Jared Allen to the Vikings for an additional draft picks. Word is they are in the hunt to add more before all is said and done.
Yes the team may suffer through growing pains, but the end results should justify the means. Even if only one player out of their entire draft becomes a future star, then the Allen deal can be viewed as a success.
Teams do this in every sport. They mortgage the present in preparation for the future. I would be lying to myself if I did not acknowledge that the knowledge that the Sonics have six first round draft choices in the next three years does not stimulate me in numerous ways that belie the social norm. Provided that the team does not relocate, I am geared up for contention come 2010.
This is the problem with the Seattle Mariners. For practically the entire expanse of my life, this team has toiled in the grey. Always on the cusp of contention, but one losing streak away from being an afterthought. Cursed as a team perpetually privy to being mathematically in the playoff hunt.
And while this theme has persisted for years, it makes little sense. Especially when jettisoning star players has been the centrifuge to some of Seattle's greatest successes.
Local legend Jay Buhner was acquired for the aging Ken Phelps. The Randy Johnson deal netted John Halama, Freddy Garcia, and Carlos Guillen. Mike Cameron and Brett Tomko landed in the Emerald City via Ken Griffey's departure.
Perhaps not a list of names that set the baseball prospectus ablaze, but all serviceable major leaguers who contributed to some fantastic runs for the club.
And while small market teams like the Twins and Athletics continue achieve comparable records, despite consistently jettisoning top flight talent growing fat in the farm ranks, the Mariners continue to flirt with the sentiments that they are a top flight contender each year. Just one player away from mojo magic.
Not going to happen. At least not anytime soon.
As proven already this year, this team is soft. When Putz went down with an injury no one answered the call to the pen. With Vidro and Ichiro struggling offensively, the rest of the team grows lackadaisical. Now that Beddard is faced with a lingering injury all season, watching this team try to compete for a pennant will be like seeing Miguel Cotto vie for a title belt one handed. By all means the talent and desire is their on paper, but I ain't betting on it.
These are three instances in which farm systems can save a ball club. The emgergence of Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury last season won the World Series for the Red Sox. Justin Upton's hitting has inspired the once punch less Diamondbacks. The Reds are riding a young Edison Volquez along with proven starter Aaron Harang.
Prospects changing the molds of teams when given an opportunity. Prospects gathered through knowing when to cut bait on deals with proven veterans and stars alike.
This team needs an enema. One year it needs to be blown up and rebuilt properly. Jose Lopez needs to be dealt to a contender. Ditto Raul Ibanez and Adrian Beltre. Garner the youth of others and watch their petals flourish as the old buds die.
But no, this will never happen. Instead we will invest the money from Richie Sexson's mammoth expiring contract into bottom rung starters for the rotation. Brad Wilkerson will start at first base over Jeff Clement. Raul Ibanez will entrench himself in an Edgar Martinez-esque role of being the old player stealing at bats from youngsters in commendation for past services.
Look, I hate the concept of prospects as much as anyone, but in baseball the risks are not as high as in other sports. Seeing how a player who has spent four years developing in the minor league system gives a much better impression than drafting a stud after his freshman year of college. In addition to this, prospects can always be used for future trade considerations (see Adam Jones.)
Unfortunately the Mariners do not have anyone of prominent enough value to attract a viable enough deal to yield instant results. The only player who could do that would be Ichiro. And any Seattle fan knows that the day Ichiro is traded will be the day the streets will run red with blood.
This team needs an enema.
A steady diet of baseball player equivalents of cream cheese hot dogs will do that.
Scour through the vast expanses of timeless Jack Nicholson quotes and one imminently arrives at this gem from the 1989 film "Batman."
Simple but poignant. Powerful with a hint malaise. Tacky and yet unrefined.
Metaphors typically used to describe the five alarm hot wings at Hooters manage to also summarize the sentiments of Jack's portrayal of the Joker. His is a character that views the world in black and white. He does not settle for grey. And in order to sway the balance to whichever way he chooses, he is willing to do whatever it takes to ensure his visions ultimate success.
On the eve of the NFL draft we are beginning to see teams abide by this philosophy already. Kansas City traded away star defensive end Jared Allen to the Vikings for an additional draft picks. Word is they are in the hunt to add more before all is said and done.
Yes the team may suffer through growing pains, but the end results should justify the means. Even if only one player out of their entire draft becomes a future star, then the Allen deal can be viewed as a success.
Teams do this in every sport. They mortgage the present in preparation for the future. I would be lying to myself if I did not acknowledge that the knowledge that the Sonics have six first round draft choices in the next three years does not stimulate me in numerous ways that belie the social norm. Provided that the team does not relocate, I am geared up for contention come 2010.
This is the problem with the Seattle Mariners. For practically the entire expanse of my life, this team has toiled in the grey. Always on the cusp of contention, but one losing streak away from being an afterthought. Cursed as a team perpetually privy to being mathematically in the playoff hunt.
And while this theme has persisted for years, it makes little sense. Especially when jettisoning star players has been the centrifuge to some of Seattle's greatest successes.
Local legend Jay Buhner was acquired for the aging Ken Phelps. The Randy Johnson deal netted John Halama, Freddy Garcia, and Carlos Guillen. Mike Cameron and Brett Tomko landed in the Emerald City via Ken Griffey's departure.
Perhaps not a list of names that set the baseball prospectus ablaze, but all serviceable major leaguers who contributed to some fantastic runs for the club.
And while small market teams like the Twins and Athletics continue achieve comparable records, despite consistently jettisoning top flight talent growing fat in the farm ranks, the Mariners continue to flirt with the sentiments that they are a top flight contender each year. Just one player away from mojo magic.
Not going to happen. At least not anytime soon.
As proven already this year, this team is soft. When Putz went down with an injury no one answered the call to the pen. With Vidro and Ichiro struggling offensively, the rest of the team grows lackadaisical. Now that Beddard is faced with a lingering injury all season, watching this team try to compete for a pennant will be like seeing Miguel Cotto vie for a title belt one handed. By all means the talent and desire is their on paper, but I ain't betting on it.
These are three instances in which farm systems can save a ball club. The emgergence of Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury last season won the World Series for the Red Sox. Justin Upton's hitting has inspired the once punch less Diamondbacks. The Reds are riding a young Edison Volquez along with proven starter Aaron Harang.
Prospects changing the molds of teams when given an opportunity. Prospects gathered through knowing when to cut bait on deals with proven veterans and stars alike.
This team needs an enema. One year it needs to be blown up and rebuilt properly. Jose Lopez needs to be dealt to a contender. Ditto Raul Ibanez and Adrian Beltre. Garner the youth of others and watch their petals flourish as the old buds die.
But no, this will never happen. Instead we will invest the money from Richie Sexson's mammoth expiring contract into bottom rung starters for the rotation. Brad Wilkerson will start at first base over Jeff Clement. Raul Ibanez will entrench himself in an Edgar Martinez-esque role of being the old player stealing at bats from youngsters in commendation for past services.
Look, I hate the concept of prospects as much as anyone, but in baseball the risks are not as high as in other sports. Seeing how a player who has spent four years developing in the minor league system gives a much better impression than drafting a stud after his freshman year of college. In addition to this, prospects can always be used for future trade considerations (see Adam Jones.)
Unfortunately the Mariners do not have anyone of prominent enough value to attract a viable enough deal to yield instant results. The only player who could do that would be Ichiro. And any Seattle fan knows that the day Ichiro is traded will be the day the streets will run red with blood.
This team needs an enema.
A steady diet of baseball player equivalents of cream cheese hot dogs will do that.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Bedard Trade Looking Worse and Worse
Hey Adam, Sorry we traded you. Please don't beat my team anymore, ok?
Last night was a realization of Mariners fans collective fears of a worst case post-trade scenario as the M's let a 5-2 lead slip away into a 8-7 loss. Adam "Only a Prospect" Jones completed the comeback by driving a double off the wall in left field to drive in the go-ahead run. Ichiro briefly tied the game with a 2-run dinger only to have the struggling bullpen turn right around and give up the eventual winning run. Then, to rub salt in the wound, George Sherril, former LOOGY(left-handed one out guy) turned shut-down closer, came in to notch his 5th save this season against his former team. The whole while #1 Staff Ace Erik Bedard and his hip were still side-lined with inflammation, their return uncertain. All in all, it was everything I prayed to Jeebus about NOT happening when I heard this trade was going down.
Ok, George, we get it, you're upset we traded you. Now would you kindly remove you teeth from my back?
Right now The Mariners are looking about as dominate as the girls in those equus eroticus videos I love. To pull themselves out of this middling funk they have gotten themselves into the M's need a axis-shift type change. First thing that needs to happen is the bullpen needs to heed the advice given to Bri(the high-yellow gir from Phillyl) from her Real World roommates. They told her that if you give it up on the first date he won't respect you. Bri told them she didn't care if the man respected her, which is the same mindset of the M's bullpen, they don't care if other teams respect them, if they wanna give up runs then that's their prerogative. Hopefully Bri and the Mariners 'pen can learn together that, if you make 'em work for it, when they finally do get it they'll be a lot more appreciative. Remember kids, giving up sex and runs is just a sign of low self-esteem and if you have low self-worth you are easy prey for the many predators out there in the world.
The second thing the M's can do is stop approaching hitting like an ADD addled child approaches a standardized test. By this I mean, they swing at the first thing that looks good to them just as the kid fills out whatever answer bubble looks good to him. The M's hitters need to realize that a walk is not a waste of an at-bat, and that not making an out(by, say, walking) is better than making one while trying to swing at whatever garbage is thrown in attempting to get a hit.
These are just two things that could help a lot if they were somehow corrected but I'm not holding my breath that they will be fixed. In truth there are a thousand things that M's could to do be better but really there's only thing I care about. Winning, by whatever underhanded, cheap, dirty, or otherwise unsavory means, is the cure fore everything. If they real off a few in a row including a sweep of the always tough Oakland A's this weekend, then all this will be forgotten. And then maybe people will actually come to the ballpark and I can get down to making some real money.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Random Sports List!!!
Don't you just hate it when you log onto your favorite sports site, only to find some random nonsensical list regarding players looks? Do I care who the "Top Ten Dreamiest NFL Players Currently Serving Suspensions for Violating the League's Substance Abuse Policy?" About as much as I care for "Top Twenty Hardwood Heartthrobs Who Ballooned to Over Three Hundred Pounds Before Retiring."
And yet I still read these articles. I read them simply on the basis that they are sports related. I hate it and yet I succumb to it, much like when I accidentally rented transvestite porn over a holiday weekend.
Regardless, in the spirit of mocking the modern sports media, I present to you my own extremely biased list. Without further ado...
Top Ten Sports Columnists File Photos
1. Bill Simmons
The classic mock laughter pose made famous by the crew at "NFL Today." His fox like grin borders somewhere on lines of, "Take the damned picture already, this tie is killing me," and "I just crapped in Skip Bayless' cereal." Enjoy your Cocoa Puffs Commie douche bag.
2. Jason Whitlock
Its a wonder that they could fit him into a profile photo without breaking out the wide angle lens. He looks winded, but satisfied, meaning he has either just dealt out some of his patented candid insights, or he had to jock for position with Charles Barkley after the Krispy Kreme fresh light went on. Very reminiscent to the look Belladonna had after her scene in "Weapons of Ass Destruction."
3. Charley Rosen
His photo only complements his attempts to come across as the grumpiest old cuss in sports. I can just picture him smoking cigarettes in his garage, listening to a Pistons - Spurs game on an old transistor radio, and hollering about all of the missed defensive rotations.
4. Dayn Perry
The obituary photo... I rescind that. Even making that one sniping comment hurt my soul a little. Making fun of Peter Gammons is like mocking someone's grandfather. Just not cool. On a serious note, I was distraught for days when he had his aneurysm. I hope this BoSox loving bastard lives forever.
And yet I still read these articles. I read them simply on the basis that they are sports related. I hate it and yet I succumb to it, much like when I accidentally rented transvestite porn over a holiday weekend.
Regardless, in the spirit of mocking the modern sports media, I present to you my own extremely biased list. Without further ado...
Top Ten Sports Columnists File Photos
1. Bill Simmons
The classic mock laughter pose made famous by the crew at "NFL Today." His fox like grin borders somewhere on lines of, "Take the damned picture already, this tie is killing me," and "I just crapped in Skip Bayless' cereal." Enjoy your Cocoa Puffs Commie douche bag.
2. Jason Whitlock
Its a wonder that they could fit him into a profile photo without breaking out the wide angle lens. He looks winded, but satisfied, meaning he has either just dealt out some of his patented candid insights, or he had to jock for position with Charles Barkley after the Krispy Kreme fresh light went on. Very reminiscent to the look Belladonna had after her scene in "Weapons of Ass Destruction."
3. Charley Rosen
His photo only complements his attempts to come across as the grumpiest old cuss in sports. I can just picture him smoking cigarettes in his garage, listening to a Pistons - Spurs game on an old transistor radio, and hollering about all of the missed defensive rotations.
4. Dayn Perry
For some reason, he has two drastically different photos. The original makes him look like the dweeb singer from "Bare Naked Ladies." The other one gives the impression that he is dying of cancer. Neither one makes me wet between the legs.
5. Rick Reilly
The existential pose. A combination of the tragic thinker mixed with the sardonic grin of a man enlightened by many of life's lessons. Later made famous by the pregnant man seen on "Oprah."
6. Jayson Stark
Recently lost his beloved cat, "Mookie" and had him fashioned into a nifty cap so he could keep him close from now until eternity. Okay I made that up, but that sounds like a credible enough rationale to describe that damp furry mass on his head.
7. J.A. Adande
Classic yearbook photo. I wonder if they had an award back when he graduated for, "Most Likely to Sellout and Serve as a Lackey for Tony "Stat Boy" Reali."
8. Peter Gammons
The obituary photo... I rescind that. Even making that one sniping comment hurt my soul a little. Making fun of Peter Gammons is like mocking someone's grandfather. Just not cool. On a serious note, I was distraught for days when he had his aneurysm. I hope this BoSox loving bastard lives forever.
9. Mark Kreigel
The classic Jewish tough guy. His black and white photo makes him look like a cub reporter for the Brooklyn Dodgers. All he needs is a fedora and a press ticket and he can be out their finding the "hot scoop." In reality his articles effectively take hot scoops on whichever athletes are prominent in the headlines.
10. Mary Buckheit
A talented (and surprisingly attractive) journalist whose articles often get buried by her male counterparts. So naturally she brings up the rear on this list.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Nihilistic Gobbledygook
VS. 
The other day I treated myself to a fond stroll down memory lane by watching the 1981 classic "Heavy Metal." Perhaps it was a part of me longing to recapture a fond fleeting remnant of my childhood that is fluttering away with time.
Or perhaps it was because "South Park" paid homage to the flick in one of this seasons episodes.
Whatever the case, the movie embodies the eighties unlike any other. Essentially it is nothing, but a clip show of boobs, blood, and rocking music. Beyond this however several notable aspects stood out in my recent viewing:
- Don Felder's long forgotten gem "Heavy Metal (Taking a Ride)" remains as lucid and seething as ever before.
- John Candy as the star voice actor proves just why he is deserving of enshrinement in the "Comic Fat Guys" Mt. Rushmore.
- The short "Harry Canyon" is gleefully entertaining and in hindsight serves as the entire basis for that forgettable Bruce Willis fare, "The Fifth Element." I was pleased to be reminded of this one, as in my previous recollection of the film, the immortal "B-17" trumped all others.
And while I was overall pleased with my choice to dig out the flick for one last hurrah, I had one major complaint.
How can a film that is given the handle "Heavy Metal," in fact be less metal than "Transformers: The Movie?"
(Note: Before we go any further into this, please allow me to clarify one poignant issue. By "Transformers: The Movie" I am referring to the 1986 animated feature, not the Michael Bay debacle that is rapidly approaching "Rocky 5" status of movies never happened. I will admit becoming a little misty eyed in seeing Jazz torn in half by Megatron, but this in no way compares to the emotional trauma my psyche endured in witnessing the massacre of Ironhide, Prowl, Ratchet, Brawn, Windcharger and Wheeljack.)
How can Sammy Haggar touch Stan Bush's offerings? He wishes that he wrote these songs. "You Got the Touch" was even cited in "Boogie Nights!" Dirk Diggler sang transformers music for Gawd sake!!!
"Heavy Metal" had a Deo helmed Black Sabbath in tow, but even the pioneer of the devil horn hand sign himself could not touch the caustic wailings heard in Lion's cover of the "Transformer's Theme."
Even the prophet Steve Perry crumbles in the face of "Instruments of Destruction" by the band N.R.G.
This being said, while "Heavy Metal" warrants a presence in my collection of disintegrating VHS tapes, I hold divisively that the title should be awarded to the Transformers on account of lack of metal awesomeness.
From here on out "Transformers: The Movie" will hereby be referred to as "Transformers: Heavy Metal" with "Heavy Metal" changing its name to "Pterodactyl Riding Thunder Cunts:
Starring John Candy."
That is my word and it has been written.
...
..
.
At this point if you have read this far into the article, you may ponder what bearing this has at all on the sports landscape.
You are right. It doesn't.
Which is exactly why I take issue with the direction sports journalism is headed towards in our modern era. Articles like this have absolutely nothing to do with sports and yet are being passed by sports columnists all over.
I get it. "The Wire" is a brilliant show and I cannot wait to sit down and watch it in its entirety on DVD. However I fail to see how promotion of the show has anything to do with the NBA. Just because one or two of the players might one day end up like some of the characters on the show, I do not see the connection.
Yes, I have heard that the Raconteurs new album is supposed to be fabulous. And this will affect my fantasy draft how? For that matter, why are you being paid to tell me who to pick in a fictionalized league based entirely upon pure luck?
We have access to a nigh infinite amount of information via the web and yet I am more likely to find an in depth interview with Adam Corrolla in regards to his short lived stint on "Dancing with the Stars," then I am of finding one journalist willing to hold Matt Walsh's feet to the fire regarding his accusations against the New England Patriots.
Most people probably do not even know who Matt Walsh is.
Who dropped the ball in inquiring about steroid use in baseball, allowing Jose Canseco to be "vindicated" by the Mitchell Report?
What dirt has not been dug on "Sneaker Pimp" William Wesley allowing him to continue his influence on basketball?
Why is it not fishy to some that NBA commissioner David Stern is friends with Sonics majority owner Clay Bennett and somehow franchise player Kevin Durant ended up in Seattle?
No, no. Those questions will never do.
Journalists who ignite fires end up broke. Journalists who sit around and argue sports, (while citing other TV shows starring journalists who sit around and argue sports) get to write player's memoirs.
A journalists job is not an easy one. Newsworthy material is not often entertaining. Serving as a living information filter, it is understandable of how one would use pop culture and hip simile to attract more attention to bylines.
However journalists have an obligation to the masses, and that is to provide an insight. To seek truth in a world of lies. To delve into unexplored realms. Damn it, they evoke the "vox populi."
.
..
...
And you know what? Maybe that has been the problem all along.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Just Call Me Mark Kegel
Danica Patrick became the first female to ever win an IRL race.
Which only means that her imminent spread in Playboy has been delayed an additional two years.
Tiger Woods is out for at least a month after knee surgery.
We may as well beat the rush and rename this site "Nobody Likes Golf... Again."
John Marzano died, may he rest in peace.
Seattle Mariner faithful will always remember him as the guy who lived out their greatest fantasies by punching out Paul O'Neill.
If the Pistons face the Spurs in the Finals again this year, then I am done with basketball for at least three years. No joke.
I figure that will be about how long it takes before I get the pleasure of watching the Memphis Grizzlies playing in Sonics jerseys.
Hey, at least we would get Mike Miller, arguably the best white guy in the league.
That will ease his transition to a city weened on Robert Swift, Vladimir Radmanovich, Vladimir Stepania, Nick Collison, Luke Ridnour, Vitali Potepenko, Pedrag Drobnjak, etc.
Kind of like how the Mariners finally got a left fielder in Randy Winn when Lou Pinnella left.
The Sonics would finally get the best white guy some years after the Wally Walker debacle.
Don't you just hate how every "Page 2" article has an incessant amount of hyperlinks?
I don't know about you, but I find this truly annoying.
Which only means that her imminent spread in Playboy has been delayed an additional two years.
Tiger Woods is out for at least a month after knee surgery.
We may as well beat the rush and rename this site "Nobody Likes Golf... Again."
John Marzano died, may he rest in peace.
Seattle Mariner faithful will always remember him as the guy who lived out their greatest fantasies by punching out Paul O'Neill.
If the Pistons face the Spurs in the Finals again this year, then I am done with basketball for at least three years. No joke.
I figure that will be about how long it takes before I get the pleasure of watching the Memphis Grizzlies playing in Sonics jerseys.
Hey, at least we would get Mike Miller, arguably the best white guy in the league.
That will ease his transition to a city weened on Robert Swift, Vladimir Radmanovich, Vladimir Stepania, Nick Collison, Luke Ridnour, Vitali Potepenko, Pedrag Drobnjak, etc.
Kind of like how the Mariners finally got a left fielder in Randy Winn when Lou Pinnella left.
The Sonics would finally get the best white guy some years after the Wally Walker debacle.
Don't you just hate how every "Page 2" article has an incessant amount of hyperlinks?
I don't know about you, but I find this truly annoying.
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