Dog Day Afternoon in Philly

After an Odyssean journey that led him from the back woods of Virginia, to the federal court house, to the county jail and house arrest Mike Vike (aka Ron Mexico) has found a new home, the City of Brotherly love, Philadelphia.

Apparently( and not surprisingly) Eagles' management doesn't have faith in former second round pick Kevin Kolb as the heir apparent Vick will start the season as the back-up to Donovan McNegro. Perhaps as the season progresses Vick will be incorporated into the Mad Dog formation with DeSean Jackson. It will be at that point the sporting world will finally find out how much of that once jaw-dropping, pants shitting, erection giving, atheleticism Mike still posseses.

Philly seems like a good fit for Vick both in terms of personel and scheme. More importantly though, the notoriously surly Philly Phans seem like the perfect fan base to boo root for the Felon. Philly doesn't strike me as the same type of city like Seattle, San Fransisco, or San Diego where extreme liberal leanings will cause protesters to congregate and mindlessly protest their teams signing of an animal abuser like zombies at the mall in "Dawn of the Dead".

I'm sure protesters will show up in Philly, as well. But I hope that some of the more rough Iggles fans threaten or just plain kick the shit out of the PETA style douchebags who will inevitably flock like vultures on a carcass, jockeying for best camera position to properly display their moral indignation. Much like the stupid hippy protesters at Grey's Harbor, I hope these self-righteous fucktards get the shit kicked out of them. The battle between Philly fans and protesters is now my reason for giving two shits about the Iggles.

With Vick's arrival in Philly routine camp battles lose their allure compared the incoming spectacle. All of a sudden the preseason got a lot more interesting.

Welcome To The Seattle Mariners Jack Wilson And Ian Snell. Hope You Survive The Experience!!

Much happened yesterday in the 100+ degree heat of hottest day in Seattle history. People complained, children swam, workers sweated through their clothes completely and The M's made a much anticipated trade. Former Pittsburgh Pirates Ian Snell and Jack Wilson are now Mariners.

Given up in the trade was former 3rd overall pick, failed catcher Jeff Clement, utility player turned everyday shortstop who's hitting woes make my struggles to put bat on ball as a little leaguer look good by comparison, and 3 Single A arms. Clement had lost favor in the organization because of his inability to catch, a required skill for a player signed to be a catcher. Clement's papíer maché knees caused him to miss significant time this year and also hindered his ability to get into the catcher's stance, another not so good sign. He looks to be a 1st baseman for the Pirates. :(edeño was only ever brought in to be a back up, but with Yuni sucking and subsequently traded he was forced into starting duty where his bats was about as effective as the French resistance. None of the 3 minor league pitchers were all THAT exciting, they were single A after all, but Brett Lorin was supposedly a pretty interesting prospect.

In return we get Jack Wilson, a light hitting, defensive wiz of a shortstop. The down side is that he is 31 years old and owed a decent amount for 2010, $8.4 mil. A major upgrade of the shortstop position to be sure. Still it's like going from a flesh light to a real doll, sure it's an upgrade but you can still do a lot better. Ian Snell was a highly regarded pitcher before mental health issues forced him to request a demotion to AAA. Many fans gave Snell no end of shit for being a pussy and wussing out when the pressure was one. However, if George Romero's "...of the Dead" movies have taught me anything, and they have, it's that the greater Pittsburgh area is an apocalyptic wasteland filled with flesh hungry zombies. If my commute to work was filled with fending off the undead and hearing the constant baritone of their guttural moans I would become suicidal as well.

All in all not a bad trade. Though not the trade many fans were hoping for. Wilson is not as sexy and Reid Brignac or even JJ Hardy, who're 8 and 5 years younger than Wilson respectively. Both seem to have better hitting upsides as well and would be cheaper longer term solutions at the position than Wilson. Snell could be a great value if he regains his form of a couple years ago, as he has a few relatively cheap club options left on his contract. But Snell was done with Pittsburgh and everyone knew it. Many thought it would be possible to trade someone like Wlad for Snell. Even if that was an exaggeration of Snell's stock, it probably wasn't too far off base.

Giving up the arms we did along with Clement and :(edeño seems to tilt this trade in the Pirates favor which is odd. I was hoping that Jack Z would pull off some jaw dropping trade like the 3 team deal with Tampa and Cleveland that had been rumored. Not only would have we aquired the long term shortstop of the future but we might have been able to get rid of Washburn(probably provided we ate the rest of his salary). Now, it seems, the M's over played their hand with Washburn. They made the deal with the Pirates and hoped they could restock what they lost by trading Wash. It looks like now he might not being going anywhere(which isn't a terrible thing) and we might not get anything for him when he leave(which rather sucks).

I have faith in Jack Zduriencik. He's made some damn good trades and pick-ups prior to this trade and I hope he pulls off some deadline move that will cause me to quieltly rise out of my seat and give a monumental slow-clap.

People always complain about red sox fans taking over Safeco. And rightly so. Those bastards descend upon Safeco like a plague of locusts decimating everything in a cloud of bandwagon douche baggery replete with pink Boston hats and matching shirts.

Forgot in the hatred of Massholes is the annoying surge of politeness that comes from the mass of unwashed Canadians who storm the Safe when the Blue Jays are in town.

There have been a couple times during the course of the game today where a loud cheer has erupted from the crowd. When I look to see what splendid feat the Mariners have performed or if some streaker is eluding the cops I become disapointed. Instead of being blessed with something good going on I am forced to watch a replay of a Toronto base hit or nice defensive play. It's damn tiring getting ones hopes up only to see fail.

Damn it, Seattle fans!! Beat those pinko commie Canadians into a stupor by fucking out cheering them. Quit being so polite to opposing fans. People are starting to get the wrong idea about us. It's bad enough I have to listen to their goddamn farce of a national anthem before the game. But to be outcheered by these sub-human Canucks is more degrading than co-starring in a Rocco Siffridi movie.

So, I'm trying something new. Mobile blogging!!! Dunno how this'll work but it'll allow me to post any breaking news on the blog while I'm at work. My first post will be quick.

There have been rumors swirling about a possible trade of Jarrod Washburn + parts to Milwaukee for shortstop JJ Hardy + parts.

I like this trade. Perhaps The M's don't receive as much back as they would in the rumored 3 team deal that would send Morrow and Clement to Cleveland, Victor Martinez and (can't recall who else) to Tampa, minor league switch hitting short stop Reid Brignac and pitcher Scott Kazmir to Seattle. But they don't give up near the potential of Morrow and Clement.

For my money the M's would be hard pressed to get a much better deal than a year and a half of club control JJ Hardy for half a year of Jarrod Washburn's unsustainable results.

Make it so, Jack Z!!

Well, That About Does It

The Mariners were outscored 33-5 while getting swept this series. That fucking sucks! It especially fucking sucks because for the first two games this series The M's faced the two worst pitchers of the Indians rotation and could still barely muster up any offense getting shut out once.

Meanwhile, the Angels refused to lose and have opened a 7 game lead over The M's in the division. The M's had racked up one of the best records in the AL since late May and are two games farther back as payment for their efforts.

Surprisingly I have not come here to bitch. In fact I am rather...ok with the circumstances. I wish The M's coulda stayed in the race for longer but I know it's for the best that they didn't. Much more time stuck in limbo and the M's might not have been buyers nor sellers. At least by falling out of contention now The M's can unload out valuable players for useful parts. A shot to make the playoffs still exists for the M's, for sure. Though it is doubtful that the M's will be able to overcome the obstacles and overtake the Halos. These losses allow Jack Zduriencik and his staff to make the moves necessary to not only build this team for this year but to also make moves that will be good for the club in the future without the fans bitching that he is waving the white flag.

With some solid additions to the big league club that a trade of veteran talent could acquire and a couple tweaks to the roster The M's could almost be more competitive now than they have been. A quality shortstop, a decent bat at catcher, more pop at 3rd and actual production from the DH spot can help get the M's farther than most would have thought possible especially after trading their veteran pitching.

If Veteran pitching does end up going it will be Washburn alone, sadly. Often I had prayed to Jobu to keep Erik Bedard healthy, if only long enough for us to trade him. My prayers and rum were taken with no result. Erik Bedard, after a great start to the season, is headed back to the DL and therefore will not be eligible to trade. Barring a long term signing(not sure if that's a good idea) Bedard will turn out to be one of the worst trades in M's or, hell, MLB history.

Still, Washburn can fetch a nice prize with his sparkly ERA and impressive w-l record. Plus there are other prospects who might be traded, Morrow and Clement, two players whose respective roles on this team have been in question, have been part of may rumors.

All said falling out of contention might have been the best thing possible for the M's to stay in contention as odd as that sounds. A few roster moves and this line up might be better than currently constructed. I have faith in Jack Z. So far he seems to know what he's doing and will do the right thing like Mookie in "Do The Right Thing". In his moves that he has made so far this season he has been damn good and finding quality talent for cheap. Ryan Langerhans and Chris Hannahan have been nice, above average players acquired for next to nothing. Let's see what he does with his moves in dealing "proven" talent for "propect" or "young" talent. My guess is it will kick ass. I mean, the JJ Putz trade has been nothing short of a coup.

Already Z is looking towards the future while still caring about today. Michael Saunders came up yesterday and looks to be the new starting left fielder for the rest of the season. Perhaps Shelton will get more looks at DH and 1st. DH has been a sarlaac pit of suck with Griffey occupying it, young talent might be all that is needed.

So, while I'm bummed that it appears we are not going to make the play-offs, I'm also damn excited about the future of this team not only for the rest of this year but also going forward for 2010 and beyond.

Stuck In The Middle With You

Since May 27th the M's have gone 30-18, one of the best records in baseball and something I would have sacrificed my first born for at the beginning of the season (I have 4 nieces. I don't need my own kids to screw up when I have my brothers I can screw up with no consequence to me.) And yet despite winning at a pace faster than a meth-head on a cleaning binge The M's have LOST 2 games on the Angels in the division standings.

I have lamented for some time now that I am growing a bit weary of this tease of a season. Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic that we are even in contention. Especially last year when dreams of contention went tits up after the first month. But still, this Jimmy Cliff like limbo that The M's have themselves waiting in is less than ideal.

The M's have some valuable trade trips in Bedard and Washburn with which they could add quality pieces that could fill holes at a place like SS. But I fear that if Zduriencik were to trade Washburn now, which he really should do, Wash's trade value will never be higher, there will be a large backlash. Smart fans might recognize the trade as a savvy move but the majority of fans would be screaming their heads off. Despite Jack Z's prior successes with trades so far I worry that this fan uprising might put pressure on Lincoln and Armstrong to do something.

Even if L&A stay above the fray and let Zduriencik do his thing I worry that just being so close to contention will force Jack to hold onto his two pitchers. I worry that if The M's hover on the fringes too long they'll lose Bedard and Washburn at the end of the season for almost nothing.

I'm all for staying in contention as long as possible. This will instil in the fans a sense of confidence in the front office and carry over to next season, which is always nice. But goddamn is it ever annoying to see that hard scrabble wins the M's have been accumulating fail to make a dent in the Angels division lead. It feels like The M's blew up on of Cybertron's moons only to see the Angels/Unicron come through it unfazed. To quote Spike Witwicky "It's not even dented!!! Ahhh shit! What're we gonna do now?" Damn good question. I wish I knew

"Ohhh We're Halfway There. Oh-Whoa Livin' On A Prayer!" A Mariners First Half Recap

The lazy days of summer are my my half-breed ass like bloggers on this whole Erin Andrews Fiasco. As such I haven't posted in a bit. Granted, not a whole lot significant has gone down since I last posted. Erik Bedard and Jarrod Washburn are still with the team. There is no shiny new shortstop on the team nor a load of prospects to scrutinize. I guess Yuni got traded for something more than a bag of horseballs. This along with the move of picking up Hanahan for a 3rd base stop gap upgrade and the Lnagerhans for Morse deal show Zduriencik's ability to incrementally add to the team for little expense now or in the future.

Upgrades used to feel like such a zero sum game. Need a 5th starter? Trade your best bullpen arm for Horacio Ramirez. Need a DH? Trade away an oft-injured but damn-useful-when healthy player for a washed up Jose Vidro. Close to contention? Trade the farm for a damn-good pitcher who even at his prime isn't worth what was given up. That the new front office recognizes that +.5 wins here, +.3 wins here and +.75 wins there add up to just the same as a +1.55 upgrade but for much cheaper, is fucking great. It's like the act of cleaning your bong, combined with a new bowl piece and building a make shift ice catch is a lot cheaper than purchasing a new bong altogether.

Anyway, now that we are a little over the halfway point of the season I figured it was a good time to look back on what has been and what might be. As opposed to recapping every player or unit as a whole I will give out awards that highlight various players or units. At 49-43 The M's have been alternatingly great and terrible. They started off the season that made me look prescient when I mentioned the possibility of play-offs before the season started. Then they had a terrible May that made me look like a fool for the exact same statements. But a quality June and July has brought this team back into contention. Now if those damn teams ahead of us would stop winning.

The Beer Goggles award-Jarrod Washburn: Yes this man pitched as one hitter his second to last start and yes he's been one of the more consitent pitchers we've had. Here's the thing, Jarrod Washburn isn't that good and he knows it(check out thought #3). He has benefited from great outfield defense and spacious Safeco Field. His peripheral stats are all in line with his career norms save for a low BABIP(batting average for balls in play) which may rise a bit as the season wears but not too much with this D. So he's pretty much the same pitcher as he's always been. Trade him no for fuck's sake!!

The Private Willian Hudson Award-King Felix: In stark contrast to Jarrod Washburn King Felix has made the leap from damn good when he's on pitcher to a true ace. Opponents cry "Game over, man! Game over" every 5 days. He has finally learned to mix his pitches better to keep hitters off balance and is unafraid to throw his breaking stuff for a strike in any count. If he keeps up this type of work throughout the season the M's might have a Cy Young winner in their midst.

The R. Lee Ermy Award-Rob Johnson and Ronny :(edeño: I was unaware that they stacked shit that high. This award is a tied because both have been attrocious with the bat so far this season. Dave at USSM thinks there is hope for RJ and others feel :(edeño is bound for a major uptick in production.

"That's right, Iccccemaan! I am dangerous!" Award-Franklin Guitierrez: Many saw him as a decent player thrown in the Putz deal. Your average all glove no (bat) love outfielder. After a slow start Frankling Guitirrez has gone on a power surge. With his new found power stroke Gutz has blossomed into a beauty like Allyssa Milano post "Who's the Boss?"

The Moonraker award: Another great pickup by Zduriencik, Russell Branyan has gone apeshit once given regular playing time. Currently he has one less dinger so far this season than his career high. WTF?! While he's been struggling a little as of late, smart minds point out he soon should be hitting balls closer to the moon than Apollo 11 ever did.

"Who are those guys?!"Award- Justin Vargas and Garret Olson: Two more players from the Putz deal. These two have come on like Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid in place of fallen starters Carlos Silva and Chris Jakabauskus. These two prove with moderate stuff and great defense much success can be had. The fact that these two have been decent at the end of the rotation makes me higher than Dennis Hopper in "Blue Velvet".

"I'm so gangsta prissy chicks don't wanna fuck with me!" Who else but Ichiro? I'm not sure Seattle fans know just what a special talent they have in Ichiro. Much like people didn't realize for a long time how damn good Jay-Z was. Jay then went on to go make the Kingdom Come album and people realized that the great HOVA was gone. Don't do the same with Ichiro Seattle.

I'm damn tired and my brain is bleeding from the after effects of a crazy weekend. I may add a second part to this post for some of the unmentioned other stars on this damn team. Until then, peace be upon you!!