Bedard Trade Looking Worse and Worse

Hey Adam, Sorry we traded you. Please don't beat my team anymore, ok?

Last night was a realization of Mariners fans collective fears of a worst case post-trade scenario as the M's let a 5-2 lead slip away into a 8-7 loss. Adam "Only a Prospect" Jones completed the comeback by driving a double off the wall in left field to drive in the go-ahead run. Ichiro briefly tied the game with a 2-run dinger only to have the struggling bullpen turn right around and give up the eventual winning run. Then, to rub salt in the wound, George Sherril, former LOOGY(left-handed one out guy) turned shut-down closer, came in to notch his 5th save this season against his former team. The whole while #1 Staff Ace Erik Bedard and his hip were still side-lined with inflammation, their return uncertain. All in all, it was everything I prayed to Jeebus about NOT happening when I heard this trade was going down.

Ok, George, we get it, you're upset we traded you. Now would you kindly remove you teeth from my back?

The Baltimore Orioles improved to 6-1 against the M's this season, which makes up exactly half of our 12 losses. In those 6 wins George Sherril has come in like Marv Albert on Vanessa Perhach in that D.C area Ritz-Carlton and had his way with us, right down to forced sodomy and back biting. To make matters worse, recently the Mariners 'pen is holding a lead about as well as an old man can hold his stool .This type of thing was not supposed to happen to a supposed contender with "the best 1-2 punch in baseball", but with half of the 1-2 punch out, a horribly impatient offense, injuries to the bullpen and some of our more elderly players showing their years(Vidro, Wilkerson, Big Suxy) what seemed like sure wins are now mounting in the loss column. I don't imagine this is how management figured things would go down to start this season.

Right now The Mariners are looking about as dominate as the girls in those equus eroticus videos I love. To pull themselves out of this middling funk they have gotten themselves into the M's need a axis-shift type change. First thing that needs to happen is the bullpen needs to heed the advice given to Bri(the high-yellow gir from Phillyl) from her Real World roommates. They told her that if you give it up on the first date he won't respect you. Bri told them she didn't care if the man respected her, which is the same mindset of the M's bullpen, they don't care if other teams respect them, if they wanna give up runs then that's their prerogative. Hopefully Bri and the Mariners 'pen can learn together that, if you make 'em work for it, when they finally do get it they'll be a lot more appreciative. Remember kids, giving up sex and runs is just a sign of low self-esteem and if you have low self-worth you are easy prey for the many predators out there in the world.

The second thing the M's can do is stop approaching hitting like an ADD addled child approaches a standardized test. By this I mean, they swing at the first thing that looks good to them just as the kid fills out whatever answer bubble looks good to him. The M's hitters need to realize that a walk is not a waste of an at-bat, and that not making an out(by, say, walking) is better than making one while trying to swing at whatever garbage is thrown in attempting to get a hit.

These are just two things that could help a lot if they were somehow corrected but I'm not holding my breath that they will be fixed. In truth there are a thousand things that M's could to do be better but really there's only thing I care about. Winning, by whatever underhanded, cheap, dirty, or otherwise unsavory means, is the cure fore everything. If they real off a few in a row including a sweep of the always tough Oakland A's this weekend, then all this will be forgotten. And then maybe people will actually come to the ballpark and I can get down to making some real money.