Friday, April 4, 2008

Breaking: Mariner Moose indicted as Congress expands investigations into MLB

Hold onto your hats America, this just in... The Seattle Mariners' mascott "Moose" (00) has been summoned for questioning in a Congressional probe into HGH and other performance enhancing drugs.

One Mariner clubhouse worker, who requested to remain anonymous said:
"I've been working around the moose for the last 15 years... I noticed him becoming much more aggressive... and implusive. Fellow clubhouse workers will agree with me, after the incident involving Coco Crisp being maliciously attacked by Moose with the quad... he eventually began to target other animals and even small children."


Insiders also say that only a few of these alleged attacks have been caught on camera and the actual number of reported incidents involving quads are between 20-30, and hooves/horns between 100-300.




Even further, Congressmen are expected to look into the evidence that Moose had issues in 2001 involving him bleeding through his pants. The official explanation from the disgraced mascotts attorney Howard Bennett is that it was an injury obtained from a "hunting incident." However, no such "hunting incident" was reported in 2001 for Moose - who did not miss playing time during the 2001 season (a year in which the Seattle Mariners went on to win 116 games).

More updates to come as story unfolds

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